New Seahawks wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh was overshadowed in Cincinnati by the play, and later the antics, of Chad Ochocinco. Now that Housh has the stage to himself in Seattle, he’s putting on his own show, threatening to boycott playing the new Madden game because of his rating.

“I understand I averaged 10 yards a catch, but it’s the offense, not me,” Houshmandzadeh said, via Mike Sando of ESPN.com. “I’m not playing Madden no more until they get my rating right. . . . I used to be the best in the world at Madden. I’m going to miss not playing it, but until they do me right, I’m not playing it any more.” via.

The people at Electronic Arts, the wards of the great football franchise, had already announced earlier in the year that gamers would see less parity in their favorite players’ ratings for this year’s game. The logic was that the elite talents in the NFL should be the elite talents in its virtual counterpart.

But here’s the rub–Housh has an overall rating of 91 in this year’s game. Not bad for the leading receiver on a team that went 4-11-1 last season. Why do the wideouts always have to be so crabby? You’d think they were playing in the slot wearing high heels and a Valentino gown. Heh, slot.

After a season during which, at one point, their top six receivers were all sidelined with injuries, the Seattle Seahawks signed the premier wide receiver in free agency, luring T.J. Houshmandzadeh away from Cincinnati with a five-year deal worth $40 million ($15M guaranteed).

Houshmandzadeh, 32, is coming off three straight seasons with 90+ receptions as the #2 wideout behind Chad Johnson, and while the Hawks have no premier deep threat to get him free for that many looks, Housh — a bigger, better, younger version of Bobby Engram — will likely be a good fit in the West Coast offense if Matt Hasselbeck’s back doesn’t fall apart.  In conclusion, I offer a tentative Wooooooo!!!!

Elsewhere in NFL news, Kurt Warner is in San Francisco to pass judgment on the godless Sodomites.  And also to talk to the 49ers because the Cards got stingy.  But mostly to pass judgment.  And, because it happened over the weekend, we didn’t mention that the Chiefs got Matt Cassel and linebacker Mike Vrabel for a single second-round draft pick.  Not reported: Bill Belichick also now has one of Scott Pioli’s kidneys.

Bengals wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh isn’t completely dismayed by the the team’s horrific 0-8 start, for he knows that Cincinnati will finish the season with at least one win.

“If the season ends and we don’t win a game,” Houshmandzadeh vowed, “I will walk from my house to the NFL Network studios.” Houshmandzadeh’s house is in Cerritos, Calif., 27 miles from the NFL Network studios in Culver City. If that weren’t challenging enough, the majority of the walk would have to take place on I-405, a heavily driven interstate. … According to Google, the walking route is 25.4 miles and would take about 8 hours, 26 minutes

Well, that’s a shitty bet.  What the hell does the average Joe gain from somebody walking really far?  Give us some incentive, T.J.!  Like, “If the Bengals don’t win a game this season, I’ll get rid of this stupid pony tail that everyone hates” or “If I don’t start putting up some points for Matt’s fantasy team, I’ll get a piano dropped on my head when I’m not expecting it.”  Hint hint, asshole.

BradyFan83 — the composer of such With Leather video tributes to Randy Moss, Tom Brady, and others — has a new song calling for more tasteful touchdown dances. I'll give you a hint: T.O. + Ocho Cinco + Journey = a very happy Friday.

Also, after the jump, another BradyFan83 tribute, this one to T.J. Houshmandzadeh, set to the soothing melodies of Billy Joel. 

Okay, first of all: I deserve a medal for writing posts on T.J. Houshmandzadeh at all. I respect other cultures and all, but that last name is a pain in the ass.

Now, onto business: a Cincinnati sports radio commentator got fired for saying that Houshmandzadeh was a racist, one day after the receiver skipped a scheduled, paid appearance on the radio show. According to Andy Furman, the firee, Houshmandzadeh called him "a punk-ass white boy."

Not so, says Houshmandzadeh:

"I told him, 'Andy Furman, you can fuck yourself.' That's the bottom line."

Oh. I see. Well, that's so much better.

Who's the asshole here? Hard to tell. T.J. skipped out on a paid appearance, which probably sucked for Furman, who most likely had to scramble for material at the last second. On the other hand, Furman works in sports talk radio, so he can eat a bag of dick. Sports radio is twice as useless as a male sideline reporter.