Pre-show notes:

- Welcome to another retro report, this time in preparation for/celebration of WrestleMania 29. Guess how I picked this one to review? It was either WrestleMania 2, or WrestleMania 9.

- Comments, likes and shares are appreciated. If you like these types of reports, share them around and get them big traffic. I’ll try to do more.

- If you’d like to read another technically “retro” WrestleMania report, be sure to go back and read the Best and Worst of WrestleMania XXVIII Live.

- I’m going to be at the various events surrounding WrestleMania 29 and Mania itself, so if you’re in the New Jersey New York area, find me and throw up the high-five.

Click through for the Best and Worst of WrestleMania 2. Warning: It happens in 1986.

The results are in! After a week of tumultuous voting arguments and two lengthy, analytical podcasts, we can safely declare the round one winners in the first annual With Leather Bad Wrestling Theme Lyrics March Madness Tournament. I say “annual” like we can do this more than once. Oh, and uh, I fixed the brackets.

Anyway, the tournament continues this week with round two action. A lot of the heavy hitters remain — American Males and its Devo + didgeridoos attempt at 80s rock, Billy Kidman’s weird, rapey rap song — as well as a few surprises. Who knew Chyna would lose so early?

The voting is open now, and you’ll have until next Tuesday, March 26, to make your voice heard. Here are the round two match-ups:

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There it is. After the initial 16 entrants chosen by With Leather and the follow-up, fan-chosen 16, the first annual With Leather Bad Wrestling Theme Lyrics March Madness Tournament has its brackets and is ready to begin.

Now comes the hard part: trying to decide which of these is worse than the other.

On the following pages you’ll find the match-ups listed above. You’ll be asked to reconsider the song lyrics and make your decision in the individual polls under each battle. Your votes will be the only thing deciding the winner, so vote early and pressure everyone you know to vote for your favorite entrants. Votes will count until Monday, March 18. I’m pushing for an American Males/Buff Bagwell showdown in the With Leather bracket, but I’m not gonna be aggressive about it. I also kinda want Kaitlyn to shock the world and take the whole thing.

Anyway, you made this happen, so now let’s make it big. If you don’t, Biker Taker will EXPLODE AT YOU~.

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Last Friday, we introduced you to a new concept in “feeling bad for being a wrestling fan” — the 1st Annual With Leather Bad Wrestling Theme Lyrics March Madness tournament, a 32-seed throwdown between the worst sets of words jammed into a wrestler themes. If you’re like, “I didn’t know wrestling theme songs HAD lyrics,” be warned … they can get pretty bad.

The first 16 professionally-chosen entrants were announced, and the call went out to you, the fans, to pick the final 16. You suggested lyrics in the comments section of the first post, and while some of you decided to totally ignore the rules and post full songs, many of you made nominations and had your voices heard. What follows it the formal announcement of the Fan 16, who’ll start going head-to-head next week.

Check out the horrible, horrible songs included in the second half of the tournament and let us know how you think the seeding should go. What’s the worst of the second 16? Which lyrics don’t deserve to be in the tournament at all? YOU DECIDE!

(I mean, not right now, but eventually.)

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We cover pro wrestling a little more than we should these days, because it turns out a lot of people want to read about fake fighting on legitimate comedy sports blogs and because more of us watched it when we were kids than we’d like to admit. Some of us still do, and have blogging jobs instead of working in an office somewhere and having the respect of anyone.

I’ve been looking for a way to follow-up on the WWF Legends Minimalist Poster Gallery from earlier this month, and pro wrestling personality/friend of the site Kyle Durden gave me a great idea … what’s more WWF and minimalist than actual pro wrestling promo 8x10s? Nothing, it turns out, especially if you find the ones from the late 1980s/early 1990s, after wrestling had been popular but before it got popular again. That’s a gold mine.

So here’s a look into the WWF promo photos gold mine. A preview of what you’ll find inside: Dusty Rhodes as a laughing garbage man, Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake going from normal human being to crazy-eyed monster in four years and the Bushwhackers playing in somebody’s raked leaves. By the end of the gallery you may no longer be able to stand. That’s normal.

Let me know which ones are your favorites in the comments section below.

[all photos via ImageEvent]

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If you grew up during the 80s and watched any professional wrestling at all, then you know who Tito Santana is. In fact, that name probably fires off a bunch of happy synapses in your brain, like when you think about the first time you saw real breasts or stole money from your dad. The New York Times wanted to find a real-life equivalent to Mickey Rourke’s washed-up character from The Wrestler (which got jobbed at the Oscars last night). But at age 55, Tito is still wrestling, and still humping along:

He works out, is in great shape and still does a dozen matches a year. “I enjoy it,” he said. At [a] recent Brooklyn event, he set up his briefcase at a table in the back of the hall beforehand, selling hundreds of dollars of Tito paraphernalia, including autographed photos for $10.[...]

Before going out, the wrestlers were examined by Dr. John Sayad, a cardiologist, whose eyes widened when he read Mr. Santana’s blood pressure: 110 over 84. “You’re the coolest one here,” the cardiologist said.

It’s pretty amazing what one guy can do with his life when he stays away from cocaine, alcohol, steroids, meth, whores, and brushes with law enforcement. It’s almost boring. I’m glad I don’t have to blog about guys like this all day. Thank goodness for cocaine, alcohol, steroids, meth, whores, and brushes with law enforcement.

ASYLUM POLL: Does The Wrestler give wrestling a bad name?