First and foremost, there are some exciting rumors today regarding that whole MMA in New York thing that we talked about a few weeks ago and the possibility of a 20th anniversary UFC event at Madison Square Garden. But I’m a man of the present, not the future, so I’m ready to focus on a plethora of Michael McDonald jokes for this weekend’s UFC on Fuel event, live from London, and next week’s highly-anticipated UFC 157 PPV, featuring our favorite female fighter Ronda Rousey and her UFC debut as the Women’s Champion.

Rousey, of course, is fighting Liz Carmouche, who we admire a great deal as well, but that isn’t stopping Cris “Cyborg” Santos and her manager Tito Ortiz from trying to make the story about the Rousey fight that will probably never happen because Cyborg can’t cut enough weight. Because she’ll die or something dramatic like that.

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Tito and guest at a GQ party.

Last July at UFC 148, Tito Ortiz was inducted into the UFC Hall of Fame right before he lost what was presumably the last fight of his career, a rubber match with Forrest Griffin. Griffin and Ortiz first met at UFC 59, which Ortiz won, and then they faced off again at UFC 106, which Griffin won. And with a unanimous decision, Griffin closed the book on their intense rivalry, and he even added some dick words to rub salt in Ortiz’s retiring wounds. So it’s pretty safe to say that Ortiz didn’t necessarily retire the way he would have liked to.

That said, as Ortiz is currently recovering from neck surgery and awaiting yet another ACL surgery, the 38-year old has plenty of time on his hands to think about the future and even a little about the past. He also has had a few chances to talk about it all which gives us people who have twice as much free time on our hands the opportunity to break down random quotes and freak out about them like this…

TITO ORTIZ WANTS TO FIGHT AGAIN! Okay, not really. Maybe.

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While the Fighters Only World MMA Awards took place 10 days ago in Las Vegas, the ceremony didn’t actually air until last night on Fox Sports so I didn’t want to play spoiler for anyone who was waiting to watch. And those of us who watched this incredible celebration of the best of the Mixed Martial Arts fighting world in 2012 were hardly shocked by the sport’s biggest names and personalities taking home the top honors.

Perhaps the best news of all was that Tito Ortiz, who is currently trying to help Cris Cyborg lose weight so she can fight Ronda Rousey, was on hand with his best babe, Miley Cyrus Jenna Jameson. The former porn queen had previously been Twitter flirting with Jon Jones and Ortiz confirmed that true love was dead when he Tweeted about being single. But don’t feel bad for Jones, because he was the night’s big (male) winner, as he took home the Charles “Mask” Lewis Fighter of the Year award.

More importantly, though, were the top female winners, as they are two women quite close to our hearts.

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Fuel’s Ultimate Answers segment (which I’ll pretend is entirely written and organized by Brittney Palmer) asked a bunch of UFC fighters which superhero they would be. Some of the answers are surprisingly nerdy — Rashad Evans earns endless cool points from me for wanting to be Nightcrawler, and Demetrious Johnson has a pretty solid understanding of how the Green Lantern’s ring works — but some are just straight-up meathead terrible, like Donald Cerrone saying he wants to be “The Invisible Man” (direct quote: “OM BE VISIBLE MAN”).

The funniest offense is from Brodus Clay Tito ORTIZ, who says he wants to be “Beastman” from the X-Men because of his intelligence. As YouTube user Kevin Hall points out, “he’s actually called Beast, so there goes your intelligence.” I like to think that Tito got the name right and instead got the TEAM wrong, and really just wants to be Beastman from ‘He-Man and the Masters of the Universe’. “I wanna be a big orange guy who looks kinda scary, but sucks and never accomplishes anything, and is less effective a henchman than the guy with a robot mouth and a mer-man in a breastplate!” Jenna Jameson could be either of those two.

Oh, and before I forget, f**k BJ Penn for wanting to be Superman because he’s “better than all the other superheroes”. If I get to pick, I’m being Captain Marvel, so I can kick BJ Penn’s ass.

[h/t to Jessica @ Leg Kick TKO]

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Ed. note - Brandon here. As regular readers of With Leather know, we have been obsessed with former UFC fighter Tank Abbott’s debut novel, the thoroughly-titled Befor There Were Rules, A Trilogy By #1 MMA Cagefighting Legend David “Tank” Abbott, Book One, Bar Brawler, A Novel since news of its existence broke last week.

So far we’ve written about the book’s Amazon synopsis (“Tank Abbott takes readers from the parking lot to the cage with a realism and honesty about mixed martial arts never before told or exposed”) and Abbott’s incredible follow-up where he says he got drunk to write it and it’s just like The Old Man And The Sea

We need to know everything about this book. Thankfully, With Leather favorite Jessica, aka Lobster Mobster, actually ordered a copy (!) and seems pleased with it (!!), so we’re letting her do the grunt work and create a sort-of SparkNotes for the trilogy. Without further ado, here is everything you ever wanted to know about Tank Abbott’s book trilogy with an ‘e’ missing from the title but were afraid to ask.

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The honeymoon is over. After a 2010 spent mostly accusing each other of abuse and painkiller addiction and several extremely public attempts to whimper about how sad they are with each other on the Internet, it looks like UFC Hall Of Famer Tito Ortiz and Adult Video News Hall Of Famer Jenna Jameson are calling it quits.

Okay, they probably aren’t, but Cage Potato caught a great exchange between Jenna and a popular UFC fighter who is … not exactly Tito Ortiz.

That could be innocent, right? Jenna Jameson has spent a lot of time in Vegas, likes the UFC and probably calls everyone she knows “babe”. Gives them nose-smileys, too.

This tweet followed those, five days later:

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