By now, we all know that Tim Tebow was unceremoniously released by the New York Jets after what can best be described as one pooptastic season with the team. Tebow barely saw the field for anything other than punt protection, and the infamous New York sports media routinely gave him the business, as if he were the sole problem with the franchise.

However, lost in the debate as to whether or not the Jets made the right decision or if they did it with class that a gentleman like Tebow deserves is what truly mattered most – Tebow never claimed his free lap dance at Rick’s Cabaret. Obviously, our friends at Rick’s are quite bummed about this, but they’re still most concerned with Tebow’s future.

They are truly the most considerate women that I have ever known.

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Tim Tebow’s brother Peter lives in Denver, loves Jesus (according to his Twitter bio, at least, I don’t know him personally or anything) and has over 15,000 Twitter followers, because every Bill Clinton needs his Roger. When the Broncos went down to the Ravens on Saturday, Peter took to the Tweeter and did a little harmless gloating:

That’s not too bad, right? A little misplaced schadenfreude from a guy with a misguided perspective. “My brother wasn’t good enough to play for your football team! I HOPE YOU LOSE! I also hope every other team also loses, I guess!” etc. Besides, his brother kinda-sorta plays for the Jets. What’s he supposed to do, enjoy victories?

Of course, by Monday the Twitter police was all over him, and Pete was forced to issue an apology for having football opinions:

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In one of the better “Boys will be boys” stories of this early sports year, New York Knicks forward Carmelo Anthony reportedly took offense to something that Boston Celtics forward Kevin Garnett said to him during Boston’s 102-96 victory on Monday night. According to various websites, Garnett supposedly told Anthony that his wife and decision-maker, La La Vasquez-Anthony, “tasted like Honey Nut Cheerios”. Honestly, I don’t really know how that’s an insult, because it mostly just reminds me of Patrice O’Neal’s birthday cake joke (watch “Elephant in the Room” if you’re unfamiliar).

Now, if I had to guess, Garnett has never had sex with Anthony’s wife. Maybe he has, and therefore is qualified to make such a statement, but this is probably just an example of what the kids call “trash talk”. However, some people believe that this sort of trash talk crosses a line, including Anthony, who waited for Garnett by the Celtics team bus so they could settle this like men. After all, you can take the millionaire professional athlete out of Brooklyn, but you can’t take the Brooklyn out of the corporate product spokesperson.

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The 2012 NFL season began with the New York Jets as the center of attention because of backup quarterback Tim Tebow, and it has ended with the Jets still as the center of attention because of starting QB Mark Sanchez. At 6-8, it’s fair to say that the Jets haven’t had the season that they typically expect, as we’ve come to love those arrogant moments in the offseason when coach Rex Ryan or Sanchez declare that the Jets will win the Super Bowl. But this year there were no cocky declarations, just a trade that brought Tebow to the Big Apple.

Obviously, we’re all wondering why the hell the Jets even traded for Tebow because they’ve barely used him and Ryan has gone out of his way to avoid answering questions about his use in Tony Sparano’s offense. Meanwhile, Sanchez has developed into a parody of a parody on the field, an evolution that culminated with the now-infamous Butt Fumble. And the Jets floated the idea that they’d be willing to trade Sanchez after the season, and the rest of the league just laughed and laughed.

So it’s only fitting that one genius made a blooper reel of the Jets’ season set to “Yakety Sax”. It’s pretty much perfect.

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Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with Kate Upton.

It is not an easy task to put together a list, such as the Greatest Sports Moments of 2012, specifically because so many things happen in any given year that it’s all but impossible to universally gauge which one event or person is greater than another. But since we’re just a couple dudes who like to make fun of stuff and almost always ignore actual sports news, it’s really quite easy.

With that said, here’s a quick breakdown of how our team of fact checkers and sports analyst number crunchers determine which people, places and things were the most important and influential in 2012…

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Despite being a backup quarterback on a team with a terrible starting quarterback, Tim Tebow is still one of the most talked about people in America. People love Tebow so much that ESPN devoted 99.99999% of its programming this year to focusing on whether or not the former Florida Gator could turn the Jets around, how his All-American persona could co-exist with the bullseye media of New York City, and whether or not he scrubs his taint with a lavender body wash in the shower.

But it’s that chatter and public obsession with Tebow that still makes him a wanted man by companies in need of strong celebrity endorsements, despite those celebrities not being very good at their actual profession. That’s not entirely Tebow’s fault, though, as his rib removal injury has hurt his chances of relieving Mark Sanchez and Jets fans’ woes, so it makes sense that he’d spend this time shilling for TiVo.

Tebow. TiVo. It’s a match made in Heaven, pun very much intended. So why Tebow, TiVo CEO Tom Rogers? Oh, and can you take a cheap shot at the Jets while you explain it? Thanks.

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