Sometimes a reader sends us a video that isn’t particularly cool, important or funny, but demands to be shared by virtue of its existence.

Meet ‘Tim Duncan Outlet Pass Slow Jamz Mixtape 2013,’ a compilation of Tim Duncan making outlet passes set Keith Sweat’s ‘Twisted.’ Or, as the YouTube description explains:

Tim Duncan tries to make the add some excitement to the fundamentals of basketball.

So, this is either a waste of your time, or the funniest thing you’ve ever seen. Personally, the mixtape left me with two feelings:

1. Keith Sweat was awesome, and
2. I’m going out to the courts to practicing my outlet pass, because the outlet pass is sexy.

[h/t to Ryan Perry]

"And then I gave her an extra $1,000 to take a dump on my chest."

Last night, as I was initially excited to watch what felt like the first honest-to-Cthulhu good Thursday Night Football game of the season, word broke across the Twitters and some sports network that doesn’t like to source other reporters that the San Antonio Spurs would be playing without the team’s stars – Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker – against the Miami Heat. And I had to turn away from Kate Upton to do a spit take because I was like, “Well why in the H-E-Hockey-Lockout would Gregg Popovich do that?”

It turns out that he had a pretty darn good reason.

Meanwhile, the game was actually fantastic. I get a kick out of joking that San Antonio is the most boring team in sports, but they’re obviously not and they proved that by leading the Heat the majority of the game before ultimately falling to Miami, 105-100. So what’s the big deal then? Teams play and lose all the time, and teams certainly rest their starters. Well, David Stern ain’t having that nonsense.

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It’s not as low-rent as the Oklahoma City Thunder shilling Jeeps, but here are the San Antonio Spurs in a commercial for steaks from Texas supermarket chain H-E-B because, hey, I have that grocery store!

Fun fact: They say H-E-B stands for “here everything’s better,” but it actually stands for “Howard Edward Butt”. BUY YOUR GROCERIES AT BUTT. (via Bush League Chronicle)

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Links

Writer’s Room: Audiences More Entertaining Than the Movie |Film Drunk|

15 Super Famous Actors Who You May Not Have Known Played Football |With Leather|

Ranking All Of Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s 28 Nicknames |UPROXX|

Today We Learned Sue Heck From ‘The Middle’ Is Super Cute In Real Life |Warming Glow|

Let’s Talk Possible ‘Episode VII’ Directors |Gamma Squad|

Big Boi And Andre 3000 Speak On Outkast’s Future … Separately |Smoking Section|

Tiki Barber Is Hilariously Desperate For Money |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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With the table now set for the NBA Finals, as the Miami Heat will take on the Oklahoma City Thunder starting tomorrow night at 9 PM, I wanted to address a very important topic before we get all analytical on your asses. People have been talking and complaining about the rapidly-spreading fad of NBA players wearing “nerd glasses”, with the most notable attention directed at Dwyane Wade and LeBron James. For some reason, the fact that Wade even wore glasses without lenses has been something that should be talked about.

Fine. Let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about how this fad isn’t anything new. NBA players have always been notorious trendsetters, starting with their eyewear. It goes back to the very first days of the NBA, as star players like Joe Dribbleguy and Kevin Bouncepass were generating buzz with their own ridiculous glasses.

After the jump, I’ve put together a gallery of the NBA’s biggest legends all wearing their own unique eyewear, on and off the court. And if these players are guilty of anything, it’s wearing glasses that apparently don’t have arms. I mean, what’s up with that?

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When Orlando Magic and eventual Brooklyn Nets center Dwight Howard agreed to sign his one-year extension to “let the Magic try to keep him”, a lot of people were pissed off at Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade when he made fun of Howard on Twitter for his overzealous use of the word “loyalty”. But bless their silly hearts, Magic fans – *points to self, frowns* – believed that Howard really was giving his team a shot until they eventually learned that he only signed the deal to avoid a deadline trade to the Los Angeles Lakers. Loyalty indeed.

So imagine the response of the Internets yesterday when people revealed that Adidas and the NBA have been selling a Dwight Howard “Loyalty” t-shirt all along. Yikes, talk about ironic. Even hipsters have a hard time purchasing that t-shirt online, donating it to the Goodwill and then begrudgingly buying it after they “find it” a few days later. But this shirt got me thinking: “What other absurd shirts could the NBA be pumping out to bilk devoted fans out of their hard-earned cash?”

*scratches spot on chin where hair would grow if he could grow facial hair, fires up Photoshop*

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I’m a big sucker for fan art – well, appropriate fan art – and that’s why I’ve been pounding my desk all morning over the news that the world’s biggest patent troll is going after Etsy’s new $40 million investment. But while soulless thieves are going after the sources of the Internet’s showcases for art and inspiration, they’ll thankfully never be able to crush the actual artists. At least not yet. I’m sure they’ll find a way eventually.

My Internet Artist of the Day of the Week goes to the guys at Double Scribble, a Tumblr site devoted to NBA fan art.

Double Scribble is the lovechild of basketball and art; two of Nick Kastner and Mike McGrath’s favorite things in the world. From the coldest, murkiest depths of Cleveland, OH (and now to some extent, some obscure part of North Carolina) Nick and Mike have forged a blog out of blood, sweat and tears in their unwavering vision to provide you, the viewer, with a never ending source of basketball related art.

And it’s pretty awesome. I’ve been shuffling back and forth through its archives since a friend emailed the link last week and there is just a ton of great artwork on this site that has really inspired me to consider re-launching my web comic series, “The Erotic Adventures of a Sports Blogger.” Spoiler alert: it’s sad and gross.

After the jump, I’ve included many of my favorite efforts of Double Scribble’s authors, but I encourage you to check out the submissions that they’ve posted from other artists as well. It’s a highly recommended worm hole to limit your productivity today.

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