Yesterday, in perhaps his most prolific artistic contribution to society, our forefather Matt Ufford introduced us to Philip Rivers with a mustache, and it might be the only thing on this planet that makes King Laserface even remotely endearing at this point. Seriously, I just dropped his ass in a fantasy league for a bye week tight end. I’ve been starting Carson Palmer over him, and I’m winning because of it, that’s how little Rivers is worth right now.

Yet here we are, Thursday Night Football only a few hours away and this is the juicy cow pie that the NFL is offering us – the San Diego Chargers vs. the Kansas City Chiefs. This is like the exact opposite of a Monday Night Football game. Hell, this is lower than Tuesday night MACtion.

Philip Rivers. Matt Cassel. It’s Thursday Night Football in America.

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Not Miss July Shanna McLaughlin. She's wonderful.

Ah the joys of being a Conference USA football fan. Not only do I get to watch NFL action tonight, but also my favorite NCAA football team, thanks to the fact that nobody really gives a crap about non-BCS conference on Saturdays. And if this isn’t fun enough, my team also used to be in the MAC, which meant that we had Tuesday, Wednesday and even Friday night games. What a hoot that was.

So while I’ll be saddled up at my favorite watering hole, er, I mean in my season ticket seat at Bright House Stadium in Orlando, here are some games that you can watch tonight from the comfort of your favorite watering hole, er, I mean home.

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Well, all of our complaining and cursing did it… just kidding. The NFL owners and Roger Goodell did it – they got the referees to agree to a new deal and come back to work for Thursday Night Football. It had nothing to do with ESPN announcers going nuts on Monday Night Football (something the network, of course, boldly proclaimed was the reason for the new deal) or TJ Lang’s Tweets blowing up or even the NFL offices receiving 70,000 phone calls from livid fans in the hours after the Seattle Seahawks may have been handed a win they didn’t deserve.

Nope, it was those brave owners and the hard-working commissioner who stuck it out and did what was in the best interest of their sport. They made sure that the refs didn’t get the few million dollars they were asking for from the league’s $10 billion in annual revenue. And even if the refs didn’t agree, those replacement fellas weren’t bad at all. Either way, make sure you thank your team’s owner when you see him or her. Just don’t touch him, you pathetic, lowly scum.

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