Last week, we brought you the terrible news that the Catholic League was upset with directors Bobby and Peter Farrelly and their new Three Stooges film, because of the way they depict nuns. Most notably, the League was angry over Larry David’s portrayal of a nun, as he has a long history of badmouthing Catholicism, but they were also pretty irate with With Leather’s 2011 Celebrity Sports Fan of the Year Kate Upton for her role in the film as a super hot nun.

Originally, we passed it off as a “Blah blah, someone is complaining about something stupid that offends them” but I am sad to report today that the Catholic League has won. According to my old pal Lynn Hoppes at ESPN Playbook, people who shelled out $12 a pop this weekend to see the Stooges were treated to an Upton-less show because her pool scene was cut.

Needless to say, the Farrellys weren’t funny pleased.

“Yeah, can you believe that? I guess it’s OK for kids killing kids, but you can’t show a woman in a bathing suit?” Peter Farrelly to ESPN Playbook Trending. “It looked pretty harmless to me. She was just jiggling around.”

“Those people in that group are just uptight,” director Bobby Farrelly said. “They have nothing better to do than that?”

Upton hasn’t publicly commented about the controversy, but I went ahead and wrote her a response that she can feel free to issue to the entire media if she wants:

“While I am very disappointed that my acting efforts in a comedic film were taken as an insult against a religious institution that so many people believe in, I respect the decision of the Motion Picture Association of America to yield to the demand of the Catholic League, as I would not want to further draw their ire. Ultimately, I have a great deal of respect for the Catholic faith, and I even plan on marrying my one and only love and rockin’ man stallion, Burnsy, in a Catholic church.”

Well said, Kate.

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Oops, did I say rapists? I meant papists, with a "P". My mistake. Anyway, those wacky Catholics in the Vatican — a "country" not big enough for a soccer stadium — are talking about fielding an international soccer team.

Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Pope's No2 and an avid football fan, said: "I don't exclude the possibility that the Vatican could field a football team at the level of the most famous professional clubs."

And how the hell is a tiny little city of popes and priests and nuns gonna do that?

"If, for example we recruited all our brasilian students from the pontificial universities and the kids from the parish recreation centres," said Bertone, "we could build a magnificent team".

Well, it's good to see that the spread of Catholicism is strictly about getting the word of Christ out to other nations and saving people's souls. And if those souls can play soccer for the Vatican along the way… hey, God doesn't want heathens winning sporting events.

(Pictured: the world's greatest Brazilian Catholic.)

UPDATE: According to sassy minx Kristine, apparently it was all a "joke." Those Catholics sure are a bunch of kidders. Next thing you know, they'll be telling people that any kind of birth control is against God's plan or some nonsense.