Or as I like to call it, “Brandon Throwing Up at the Ballpark.” Tonight, the Class AA Richmond Flying Squirrels are featuring a Tribute to Bacon Night at The Diamond. The game will feature on-field bacon-themed promotions, a chance to enter to win a year-long supply of pork from the Virginia Pork Industry, and (believe it or not) participation from Kevin Bacon. Well, sort of. Squirrels Vice President and COO Todd “Parney” Parnell explains with the kind of carny panache I love in my Minor League Baseball.

“Kevin is a busy guy, so we’re thrilled that he was able to find time in his schedule to make an appearance on Tribute to Bacon Night … Having him here will definitely add some extra sizzle to a night we were already planning to ham up.”

The rub here is that the “Kevin Bacon” appearing at the game is a detective with the Chesterfield County Police Department who works with the Chesterfield Crime Solvers program and enjoys going to church, “as well as golfing.” He’s throwing out the first pitch and is signing autographs for some reason, but he’s not the same guy that invisible-raped Rhona Mitra, and he’s neither the guy was killed by Jason’s Mom nor the one condemned to stillness by John Lithgow.

His favorite movie titles featuring the actor, Kevin Bacon, include “Apollo 13,” “A Few Good Men,” and “Footloose.”

Wednesday night’s promotion is “Free Triple Bypass Night at the Ballpark,” with special guest Dr. Phil, but not that one.

[H/T Ballpark Digest]

BOW BEFORE YOUR GOD

It’s the Friday before the Fourth of July, and what’s more American than power rankings?

1 Bacon flavored vodka – Jesus, Mary, and Joseph that is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. To be fair, that’s what I’ve said about every Billy Mays commercial ever made.

2 Soccer babes – Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that the American soccer team got knocked out of the World Cup last Saturday. Now America can return to not caring about soccer, but will continue to ogle it’s babes via the internet.

3 America – America makes the rankings for the second week in a row. Get yourself some bacon flavored booze, invite some babes over, and grill some meat to celebrate the birth of our nation.

4 NBA Free Agency – Finally, the wait is over and Lebron-a-mania can finally begin. LeBron is expected to make his announcement before the 5th. Will he go to the Heat? Will he go to the Knicks? Will he go to Chicago? Why would he possibly stay in Cleveland? Am I asking too many questions? Yes, yes I am.

5 Brock Lesnar – Brock returns to the octagon for tomorrow’s UFC Heavy Weight title bout against Shane Carwin. If I had to step into the eight sided geometric polygon against either of these guys I would crap myself, cry like a little girl, and beg for mercy.

6-10 after the jump. (Some pics NSFW) Read the rest of this entry »

Some of you might have a coronary just from looking at this. It’s a replica of the Vince Lombardi trophy made out of bacon. The braintrust at BBQ Addicts gives credit to Ben “Sweet Lou” Krout for the work, as submitted to their site. And how sweet it is.

The [actual Vince Lombardi Trophy], created by Tiffany & Co. is valued at $50,000,and depicts a regulation-size football in kicking position that is made entirely of sterling silver, standing 22 inches (56 cm) tall, weighing 7 pounds (3.2 kg), it takes approximately four months and 72 man-hours to create….After the trophy is awarded, it is sent back to Tiffany’s to be engraved with the winning team’s name, the date and final score of the Super Bowl, and then is sent back to the winning team for them to keep. –Wiki.

I know what you’re thinking. How did they get all that bacon to stand up like that? Don’t ruin the moment. Pork-based facsimilies of pro football’s highest prize are to be treasured, not scrutinized. And really, all trophies should be edible. There’s nothing better than celebrating a campaign’s worth of hard work than eating baked flesh. It worked for Joe Biden, anyway. – via Intentional Foul.