What you’re supposed to get from watching this video: Bobb Sapp is fighting Mariusz Pudzianowski at KSW 19 on May 12.

What you actually get from watching this video: A sinus headache, followed by the assumption that Bob Sapp is a megalomaniacal Japanese super villain who can’t properly eat eggs, can punch a pillow so hard it explodes and stole his best trash talking bits from that part in The Goonies where Corey Feldman puts his tongue through a painting. Also, he’s fighting someone named Mario.

Of course, no matter how dumb this video is (or how sad Bob Sapp gets, because seriously, all I see when I look at him now is two minutes of Bobby Lashley throwing humping elbows) it’s an episode of ‘Cosmos’ compared to that horrible “how to rape a lady and get your dick bitten by a transsexual” thing Rampage Jackson pulled last week. It’s easier for me to accept the “it’s just a joke” defense when it’s a guy biting eggs and laughing like M. Bison.

I had no idea that small dogs could do anything besides serve as accessories for dudes in skinny jeans, but these pups are something special. I love whoever trained these dogs. I could just imagine that person finally managing to get a dog to ride a bike and then saying, “No, this isn’t good enough! You know what would really compliment the dog riding the bicycle? Five or six little dogs behind him in a conga line! Perfect.” And those dogs are GAME, too. Look at that little one fighting his way in there. That is HIS SPOT, and nobody’s taking that away from him, except for the occasional misfiring druglord. Read the rest of this entry »

This is acutally helmetcam footage of a BMX racecourse in Chile, not Mexico, but props to Ufford on the headline anyway. But this is kind of a big deal: the Valparaiso Cerro Abajo Urban Downhill Race draws bikers from around the world and over 10,000 spectators each year, to the point where the city shuts down to facilitate the race. And you’ll soon see why I had to wear rubber underpants while I watched this. It’s amazing video.

The course took a toll on the riders, and vice versa–several jumps had to be repaired between runs. Filip Polc of Slovakia posted the best time of 2 minutes and 34 seconds, but I’m more impressed that nobody died.

Death defiance awaits you after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Ever since skateboarding went mainstream, we’ve become accustomed to guys like Tony Hawk, Bucky Lasek, Bob Burnquist and whoever else I can remember from the first three Tony Hawk Pro Skater video games being the faces of events like the X-Games and the Dew Tour, and the scariest thing about the sport has been those no good punks on the local church steps making their own skate videos.

Alas, all was not as simple in 1986, and there was a much darker force at play – witchcraft. Enter the Skate Witches, a trio of mean babes who won’t put up with anyone standing in their way. They’ve got rats, skateboards and magical powers. Except one of the girls who doesn’t need a skateboard because she’ll just steal yours. And if you find yourself out strolling the cemeteries at midnight and you hear some grinding and wicked kick flips, that’s the Queen Witch. You should know better than to mess with her.

In conclusion, the 80s were f*cked up, dude.

Video after the jump…

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