As a proud, tax-paying American who has never been arrested and occasionally makes donations to police associations (because someone once told me the sticker stops cops from pulling you over), I’m a big fan of law enforcement. I’ve always found that it’s good procedure to befriend police officers and not piss them off, because then they won’t frame you for murder. Not that all cops do that, but I constantly live in fear of being sent to prison, so I just try to be nice.

I wouldn’t, for example, ever think it was a smart idea to break into a locker room during a law enforcement charity hockey game and steal all of their stuff, because I’m not an a-hole with a death wish. Too bad I can’t say the same for one moron in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia

Two teams of deputy sheriffs and correctional officers were playing in a charity hockey game for the Make-A-Wish Foundation when someone broke into the deputy sheriff’s locker room and stole cell phones and a few wallets.

The theft was discovered by one of the off-duty officers during the second intermission.

“It was a pretty big downer for everybody,” said player Chris Kelly.

“Everybody was having a good time all the players, it was hard to finish the game in the mindset where some of your belongings are gone maybe your clothes.”

But the officers finished the game anyway. (Via CBC News)

Because every story deserves a happy ending, the thief was caught after the game and most of the stolen belongings were returned. I’m not sure how the Canadian justice system works, but I believe that the punishment for stealing from cops is to be drawn and quartered by mooses. Wait, is it meese? Just moose. Either way, I hope they celebrated in true Nova Scotia tradition.

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In one of the stranger WWE Diva storylines in recent memory, Amy Weber was promoted from the WWE’s Diva Search to Smackdown!, on which she played Bradshaw’s “image consultant”, as well as valet/manager for The Cabinet’s Orlando Jordan and Basham Brothers. Weber, though, eventually quit the WWE because she claims she was being harassed by wrestlers and loathed the “frat house” atmosphere, so her departing storyline was that Bradshaw fired her because she accidentally shot him with a sleeping dart instead of the Big Show. Seriously, that was a plot line.

Anyway, the reason that I had to research all of that on a top secret website that only I know about is because Amy’s name is in the gossip news today and when I read it, I thought, “Who the hell is Amy Weber?” But since the news is that she’s releasing naked pictures, I felt compelled to find out who she was. Oh, and if you think she’s releasing these pictures for attention, you’re so wrong. She’s doing it because she’s brave.

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Thou shalt not steal. As Tim Tebow would tell us all, that’s one of the first laws written by man. As an Internet writer and avid Tweeter, I’m one of the first people you’ll hear pissing and moaning about thievery because I’ve had jokes, terrible photoshops and even With Leather posts stolen many times. But I’ve always chalked it up to the nature of the game because we’re all hustlers out here trying to make that cheddar, or something like that. My point is that I always credit my sources because I respect creative property and integrity. I just wish others shared that belief.

That’s how we’ve come to this whole SOPA mess. Despite what people are erroneously Tweeting as fast as they can type, it’s not about people who post sh*t on their Facebook, Twitter or Tumblr pages. Well, not entirely. It’s about the sites like the defunct ChannelSurfing.net and others that illegally stream sports games, TV shows and movies. It’s about the torrent sites that allow people to steal music and movies. It’s about sh*t that’s illegal and wrong. The Internet certainly needs laws and crap most certainly needs to be flushed.

But that doesn’t mean that us innocent folk aren’t going to get caught in the wake. I’m against SOPA because I don’t like the idea of giving networks and corporations the power to crush us just because they feel like it. All power needs limitations and I need to know there’s a difference between some dick in Europe giving away free movies and me posting a clip of Blake Griffin dunking. I also don’t like ignorant politicians who are blatantly lining their pockets trying to cram a bill down our throats because they doesn’t understand this wild, crazy Internet and they believe that we’re all young punk thieves, when we’re actually the last frontier of creativity.

SOPA and PIPA were created by wealthy people with hair trigger mentalities. Both bills have foundations that are understandable, but they are still allowing people with money to have control over the voices of us that have little to no means of defending ourselves. Basically, they could take away my right to criticize people. It’s not a certainty, but I’ll be damned if I’ll even allow someone to open the door to the idea of taking away my God-given right of calling someone a douchebag because that douchebag doesn’t like it.

That said, here are some pictures of Kelly Brook supporting New Look lingerie, because that’s what my Internet was meant to give us. I assume she did this both in opposition to SOPA and clothing.

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