UFC has evolved a lot over the last 20 years, but the game stay the game.

I don’t get a lot of opportunities to write about ‘The Wire’ on a comedy sports blog, so I’m taking every opportunity I get. Back in August I put together the 15 greatest sports moments from the show in a Sports On TV column, and I’ve devoted more than one episode of The Dugout to recapping the show verbatim.

For whatever reason, a wonderful person on the Internet put together a UFC intro video in the style of ‘The Wire’s’ opening credits, and while I would’ve went with the season 4 version of the song, it’s amazing. Actually, has anybody done a nu metal cover of ‘Way Down In The Hole?’ That’d be even better.

[h/t to MiddleEasy]

When I eventually pass away in several hundred years at the hands of my Highlander trainee, I hope to have secured a recording of one of several people reading my eulogy. I would be fine with Morgan Freeman or James Earl Jones, obviously, because they’re the best in the world at narration, but I would also accept Samuel L. Jackson or Glbert Gottfried if my then-wife and mistress decide to go with a humor-themed funeral. But I’m also going to add Michael K. Williams – AKA Omar from The Wire – to my short list because of this video clip entitled, “This is My Court”.

Described as an “ode to streetball culture”, the video was created by directors Jonathan and Josh Baker – AKA TWiN – and written by Elizabeth Nolan. It celebrates streetball as a poetic art, and with the photography and words used in this video, I’d have a hard time disagreeing. And I really hope they put out the flaming ball before they started playing. I feel like that could cause blisters.

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Yes, the latest issue of Sports Illustrated will feature a cover story on the (at the time of this post) wildcard-hopeful Orioles and the unlikely sports capital of Bodymore, Murderland. More importantly, the piece is written by David Simon, creator of The Wire, the best show in the history of television. The story even has “The Wire” in the title.

To celebrate David Simon’s appearance in SI and his willingness to go, “hey, remember that show I made about Baltimore” on the cover, here are 10 alternate suggestions for Orioles/Sports Illustrated/’The Wire’ story titles.

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"Where's Ben Wallace, String?"

HBO’s ‘The Wire’ is the best TV show ever made. There, I said it.

In 5 seasons over 60 episodes, David Simon’s law and streets epic was literature on television, an experience so dense and rewarding that it somehow managed to simultaneously depict life in Baltimore as realistic and hyper-romanticized. It’s one of those things you’ve either seen and worship, or have resisted all your friends screaming OH MY GOD YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE WIRE NO SERIOUSLY BORROW MY DVDS AND WATCH IT for like ten years.

This week’s Sports On TV column is in reverence to this masterwork of Orioles jokes and cereal references, and my only real disclaimer is that there are tons and tons of spoilers inside, so it’ll work best if you’ve seen the entire run of the show. If you haven’t, you should still click through … out-of-context Wire quotes are like gold, glittery paint on the Internet and should be experienced.

And yes, I took notes on a criminal f**king conspiracy.

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Jim Thome is now a Baltimore Oriole, and “Jim Thome trades” are between “Phillie Phanatic got injured” and “Kate Upton uploaded naked pictures of herself” on the list of important stories for me to cover. It’s just what I do.

To celebrate this momentous occasion, we’ve set up our first ever cross-site Dugout promotion. For part one of this Dugout, you’ll want to head over to Progressive Boink, the strip’s original home.

Like that, leave a comment, then head back over to read part two, which has fewer curse words but more overt references to The Wire. It’s fun for all, and I love my friends at P-Boi, so stick around over there and read some dumb stuff.

Anyway, Dugout, Thome, Orioles. After the jump.

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World Peace elbowing James Harden in the head and knocking it off is pretty predictable, but what isn’t is how Taiwan interprets the Pacers fan brawl. I never knew it started with a Molotov Cocktail!

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Links

Three Movies You Probably Don’t Remember Featured ‘Mad Men’s’ January Jones |Warming Glow|

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Avengers is tracking 96% on RT. Here’s a clip of ScarJo speaking slowly in a monotone. |Film Drunk|

The Best Of #Forgetting Sarah Marshall |UPROXX|

5 Potential Presidential Theme Songs For Obama |Smoking Section|

First Look Inside ‘Before Watchmen’. Haters Gonna Hate. |Gamma Squad|

Mad Men Discussion: Buttery Handjobs, Acid Trips And Orange Sherbet Freakouts |UPROXX|

Ridiculously Fat Cat In Need Of A Good Home |UPROXX|

Paying Homage To Minnesota’s Twin Towers |Smoking Section|

Dirk the Penguin recuperating after being kidnapped by drunks |Film Drunk|

WWE Raw Open Discussion Thread 4/23/12: Wooo Three Hours Of Contract Signings |With Leather|

It’s Dangerous To Go Alone, Take This Legend Of Zelda Pixel Cookie |Gamma Squad|

‘Game of Thrones’ Recap: ‘Garden of Bones’ |Warming Glow|

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