Hey guys, my name’s Nathan and for some godforsaken reason, I like my fake underwear fighting to make sense.

My desire for lucid pro-wrestling goes beyond “no gaping plot holes, thanks” — I also like recognizable human motivations and characterization! Failing all that (and wrestling usually fails all that) I at least like when matches have some sort of compelling, logical hook. Assuming you’re not just rage-reading Brandon’s Best And Worst columns every week, I bet you feel the same way.

Well, I’m happy to say the build-up to WrestleMania 29 has made a shocking amount of sense! Nearly every match feels like it exists for a reason, and yet I can’t remember a year when I’ve been less excited for the show. Let’s take a stroll through this solidly assembled, yet totally sleep-inducing card, shall we?

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I don’t know what it is about fame that makes people think they can be musicians. Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian made sex tapes to become famous, and then to maintain their celebrity statuses they decided to become pop singers. Plenty of actors have done it – Keanu Reeves, Gary Sinise, Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, to name a few – and God knows there are quite a few athletes who think they’re regular Scott Stapps. I’m no Darren Rovell, but I’m willing to guess that 99% of them have failed.

But for some mind-bending, unknown reason, becoming a music star has always been a favorite hobby of professional wrestlers and every single one of them that has tried it has been terrible. Sure, that’s personal opinion, but I’d love to know who I’m overlooking. In the meantime, I’m sure that I’ve overlooked plenty of the most terrible singing wrestlers, but I could only handle 15 videos in the YouTube wormhole before I was screaming in agony.

Witness the horror for yourselves and feel free to add your least favorite songs in the comments.

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Pre-show notes:

- As of right now, I’m not sure what the status is on the Best and Worst Of Royal Rumble ’12. I’m assuming it’ll still happen, but come to terms with the reality that it may not. Hopefully a Rumble 2000 report, two open threads and a Best And Worst Of Raw report in four days is enough wrestling content to keep you feeling fulfilled. If I keep up this pace they’re gonna sh*t-can me from With Leather and you’ll have to read my reports on Scoop This.

- Comments are loved and appreciated. So are “likes”. Clicking like is even easier than commenting, so at least do that. Last night’s Open Discussion Thread featured over 1,500 comments (holy crap) so we’re gonna start working on the likes.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- A.J. picture only tangentially related.

- The biggest and most profuse Thank You ever goes out to Marty Springall @CranberryNapalm for providing high quality screengrabs while 1) my normal computer is down and 2) WWE Fan Nation is being weird about uploading videos. Couldn’t have done it without you, guy. FOLLOW HIM AS A THANK YOU. Gifs contained within are, as always, courtesy of Jerusalem at Punchsport Pagoda.

- Additional reading: UGO’s Raw Report. I disagree with him about … basically everything.

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wait for it... wait for it...

Pre-show notes:

- Hey, you, person reading this column. Register and leave us a comment. When you’ve done that (or possibly before), click that “like” button over the banner image and/or share this with everyone you have ever met, including your half-siblings and that one weird guy at work who found out you like wrestling and won’t stop trying to ask you about it. He’d love this column.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- For further Raw reading, please consult UGO’s The Good The Bad And The Ugly and John Canton’s The WWE Raw Deal. They both hate women’s wrestling and love The Rock, so if that’s your bag, hey.

But first, please click through and enjoy the Best and Worst of WWE Raw for December 5.

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Pre-show notes:

- Hey, you, person reading this column. Register and leave us a comment. You’ve gotten used to me prodding you about it, and I’m never going to stop, so just go ahead and join our little wrestling column community so you can at least stop being the one prodded. I’d also really appreciated it if you’d click that “like” button over the banner image and/or share this with everyone you have ever met, including your 10th grade physics teacher and any girls you may’ve kissed.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- I’ll remind you again as the column rolls on, but Justin O’Connor of Progressive Boink and myself are hosting a Best And Worst Of WWE Smackdown Live-Blog tonight at 8 PM EST. They’re airing it live this week, so you should come and chat with us and leave comments that I can hopefully multitask well enough in spite of Justin’s funny to include. Seriously, you’re going to laugh your ass off at this. Stop by, and tell folks.

- Another good reason for you to stop by and get to know Justin: he’s going to be filling in for me on the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 12/19 report on Tuesday the 20th. The 19th is my girlfriend’s birthday, and as much as I love wrestling, yeah, no.

- All the gifs you see within the report are courtesy of the awesome Jerusalem at Punchsport Pagoda.

- Listening to me is better than reading me, so be sure to spend … jesus, two hours listening to me talk to K. Sawyer Paul over on the International Object podcast.

- For further Raw reading, please consult UGO’s The Good The Bad And The Ugly and John Canton’s The WWE Raw Deal.

But first, please to enjoy the Best and Worst of WWE Raw for November 28.

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Pre-show notes:

- As a prerequisite for this column, make sure you’ve read The Best And Worst Of WWE Survivor Series ’11. It’ll explain a lot of the obvious stuff from last night (CM Punk is champion? Big Show came off the top rope?) without me having to cobble together a video editor and post a bunch of JVC Kaboom Box Kabooms Of The Night.

- Don’t forget, we’re trying to get a regular Smackdown live-blog going, too, so smark that on your calendar for Friday and go back and read the first one.

- Also, be sure to check out my appearance on The Masked Man’s first wrestling podcast for Grantland. I’m pretty honored to show up on the first ever episode, even if I spent most of it talking about D’Lo Brown buying feminine hygiene products.

- If you like pro wrestling, you’ll LOVE Twitter: Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook. It’s the best and easiest way to know when these columns go up, and it helps me sell you on the rest of the site (hopefully).

- If you read the column or watched the show and have some thoughts to share, don’t hesitate to leave a comment. I’m especially interested in hearing what you thought of every segment of the show in the order they occured, relating in no way to anything I’ve typed. But no, if you’re a regular reader I want you to be a part of this every week. Don’t make me start a mailbag.

- For further Raw reading, be sure to check out UGO’s WWE Raw: The Good The Bad And The Ugly and John Canton’s Raw Deal (when it goes up).

- Neither A.J. nor Kaitlyn appeared on this week’s show (Kelly Kelly barely even showed up), so I’m including the picture to the right to guarantee my first 18 comments are “oh my god that picture of a.j. are you serious”.

The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw for November 11 is after the jump. There are some pretty good wrestling matches in here, so pay attention.

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