If it helps, you’re supposed to read that headline like the cover of a Jack Kirby comic.

Anyway, meet Bol Bol (pictured standing next to his famous father, right) (just kidding). He’s the Godzooky to Manute Bol’s Godzilla, a 13-year old who will one day grow into his terrifying limbs, develop a slingshot three-pointer and dominate the NBA, at least in that one little spot where he can stand without falling down.

Bol Bol is a 6’5 seventh grader who is the son of the late NBA player Manute Bol. Bol strokes threes just like his dad and even showed the ability to put it on the ground and create off the bounce. Bol has a good mid range jumper and has a good understanding of the pick and roll. These highlights are from the 2012 Cross Roads Elite Camp in Indianapolis.

A few observations:

1. That is the most terrifying 7th grader basketball camp ever. One kid looks exactly like Manute Bol, one kid has a full mustache in the seventh grade like he’s a Napoleon Dynamite joke and everyone is 6-foot-5. If I’d gone to that camp when I was 13 it would’ve been like Porky Pig playing against the Monstars.

2. This is living proof that if you procreate with Manute Bol, it doesn’t matter what you look like, that kid’s gonna straight-up look like Manute f**king Bol.

3. I like to think that Manute named his kid “Bol Bol” so that when they were announced together, it’d sound like his name was echoing a la Pride Of The Yankees. “Here’s Manute Bol, Bol Bol.”

4. I wonder if Bol Bol ever got to enjoy any of his dad’s festive cruises?

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What you’re about to watch is a series of questions for LeBron James collected and asked by fans of Liverpool Football Club. They are all prepubescent, adorable and extremely British. They’re also interested in knowing how tall LeBron is. One wants to know if he’s the tallest player in the NBA. Another asks if LeBron is taller than his dad. Even this awesome kid from the 6:05 mark (pictured, right) asks LeBron how big his house is, and is basically just asking “how tall is your house”. The answer: LeBron is tall, perhaps abnormally so, but he is not the tallest thing in history.

Other highlights include “Anna” at 3:08 asking LeBron to identify his favorite rapper and getting a stock photo of Jay-Z with America’s Funniest Home Video-style boing noises as a response, and that AMAZING ginger kid at 3:16 who cannot hope to contain his Ron Weasley. His name is Rory. That’s incredible.

Also, you know when that kid asked “are you taller than a giraffe” the kid behind him went F**K and had to change his question to “are you taller than two giraffes”.

[h/t Ball Don't Lie]

As Eric Freeman of the excellent Ball Don’t Lie points out, there are positive and negative aspects to being 7-foot-6. On the negative side, even mundane, day-to-day activities like buying clothes, walking through doorways, sitting in cars and fitting into pre-19th century buildings become impossibilities. There are a few positives, though, like being able to make millions of dollars for a couple of years as a basketball player, and that when a Monstar steals your talent all he’s really stolen is your ability to be tall (and you’re still that, you didn’t shrink) so you’re more-or-less unharmed.

Being that tall also, as we’re learning today, makes stories about people stealing your special tall-people things super, super sad.

Last Friday, someone burglarized the barn on [former basketball star Shawn] Bradley’s property. The only item that was taken was a bicycle made specially for him in 2006.

“Whether you’re 7 feet 6 inches or normal height, stealing someone’s bike is low,” an upset Bradley said Wednesday. [...]

After Bradley retired from the NBA in 2006, the 7-foot-6 center said he needed to find a way to keep the weight off. Trek made a bicycle just for him.

A bicycle made just for him.

Ignoring the fact that Shawn Bradley has a barn to house his special bicycle like he’s Pee-wee Herman and ignoring the fact that somebody broke onto an NBA millionaire’s property and all he took was his special 8-feet-tall megacycle, how f**king sad is this. It gets even worse when you read his follow-up, which sounds exactly like a five-year old explaining why this particular stolen big wheel is the biggest deal ever — he namedrops his brother. His BROTHER.

“My brother is 6 feet 10 inches and he can’t ride it,” Bradley said.

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