Send us tips at WithLeather-Tips@UPROXX.com and follow WL and Josh on Twitter.

Img via Guyism.

• Is there anything more misleading than these “graduation rates” that keep coming out?
  Short Sentences.
• The worst parents of all time.
  Fork Party.
• WWE Chairman Vince McMahon doesn’t even consider rival rasslin’ promotion TNA to be “competition.”
  The Wrestling Blog.
• The five greatest jobs in the entertainment industry. I like the part where the woman is licking rooster.
  Uproxx.
• Is Albert Pujols worth a new contract?
  Bleacher Report.
• Sarah Palin’s reality show was picked up by TLC. I really don’t need to add anything to that.
  Warming Glow.
• Here’s a preview of the other Sweet Sixteen matchups tonight. Fresh…respected.
  The Smoking Section.
• I can only hope to be invited to a “level shoes” party one day.
  Urlesque.

It’s you, dear reader, that makes this website possible. So if you hate everything here, you have only yourself to blame. Send tips to WithLeather-TIPS@Uproxx.com and follow WL and PUNTE on Twitter.

THE BACON

Released, from a hospital near Olean, NY, two men who were stabbed during a campus brawl during an altercation between the St. Bonaventure and Jamestown Community College teams. The stabbings occurred around 3 a.m. Sunday on the St. Bonaventure campus, about 60 miles south of Buffalo. And honestly, if you’re up at 3 a.m. in Olean, NY, you probably could use a good stabbing.

Performed, Saturday, in front of a live audience while being broadcast on ChatRoulette, Ben Folds, in Charlotte, North Carolina. Folds, who has denied being the ad-libbing pianist in this video, also executed the gag at a Norfolk, Virginia show, was said to have ruined the ChatRoulette experience by not wagging his dong in front of the camera like everyone else. Get with it, Ben!

Qualified, for their 20th consecutive NCAA men’s ice hockey tournament, the University of Michigan. The Wolverines locked up their berth after winning their league tournament, as did Alabama-Huntsville, who finished the season with a 12-17-3 record. In other news, they’re playing college hockey in Alabama now.

THE EGGS

[updated bracket]

THE LINKS

• Seven players who helped ruin your bracket this weekend.
  Bleacher Report.
• Here’s one of a handful of SXSW recaps we’ll have over the coming days. Fresh…respected.
  The Smoking Section.
• The few constants to which one could set one’s watch to with the NCAA tournament.
  Uproxx.
• If TV networks made these kinds of shows, I might consider watching TV again.
  Uproxx.
• Derek Dooley is off to a great start at Tennessee. Just kidding, his best recruit just left the team.
  Studio Hive.
• “Murray was 34 and had a good team against Vanderbilt.” Yep, it’s a Kige Ramsey tournament recap. YewTube [video]
• Vince had his weekly comments of the week, but I only linked this for the sixty-nining pigs.
  FilmDrunk.

The Morning Meat is an assortment of news, scores and links that pins you down to the mattress and has its way with you. Just lie back and enjoy it. Send tips to WithLeather-Tips@UPROXX.com and follow WL and PUNTE on Twitter. Img.

THE BACON

Traded, to the Seattle Seahawks, quarterback Charlie Whitehurst, who has sat the bench for the San Diego Chargers for nearly all of his four seasons in the league. Whitehurst and San Diego’s 60th overall pick in this year’s draft for Seattle’s 40th overall pick and another pick in 2011. Whitehurst is expected to rewarded with a multi-year deal and more money, similar to how Carroll compensated his players at USC.

Extended, through the 2014 season, the contract of Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel. Tressel will not be receiving a raise on the next two years of his deal. Ohio State beat Oregon to win the Rose Bowl in January, which is the only documented instance of Oregon having something stolen from them.

Promoted, the use of so-called female condoms for anal sex, by activists. “The female condom put the bottom in charge, in control, and that was such a good thing,” one activist told the Washington City Paper. “And when I’ve been a top—the insertive partner—what I’ve liked about the bottom wearing the device is that my penis wasn’t wrapped in plastic.” If only “insertive partner” could fit on a personalized license plate…

THE SCORES

NCAA

West.
BYU 99, Florida 92.

Murray State 66, Vanderbilt 65.

Kansas State 82, North Texas 62.

Butler 77, UTEP 59.

South.
Old Dominion 51, Notre Dame 50.

Villanova 73, Robert Morris 70.

Baylor 68, Sam Houston State 59.

St. Mary’s 80, Richmond 71.

Midwest.
Northern Iowa 69, UNLV 66.

Ohio 97, Georgetown 83.

Kansas 90, Lehigh 74.

Tennessee 62, San Diego State 59.

East.
New Mexico 62, Montana 57.

Wake Forest 81, Texas 80.

Washington 80, Marquette 78.

Kentucky 100, East Tennessee State 71.

THE LINKS

• Yesterday’s most entertaining moments from the NCAA tournament. “Watching Notre Dame eat balls” has to be right up there. Yeah, we say “eat balls” in my house. Get over it.
  Bleacher Report.
• “Rogue Patron” has entered the Walmart lexicon.
  Ramblings of the Unmotivated.
• Believe it or not, you can actually talk about yourself without sounding gay.
  Uproxx.
• A TV theme medley that you may or may not find impressive when you consider everything else on the internet these days.
  Warming Glow.
• The “Boss Button” isn’t the failsafe that everyone makes it out to be.
  Guyism.
• They’re finally going to start shooting The Hobbit. Quickly, before he gets away!
  Gamma Squad.

The Morning Meat brings together the best of links each weekday. And by “the best of,” we mean “crap that we couldn’t work into a photo edit with a dog holding potato chips as duck lips.” Send us tips at WithLeather-Tips@UPROXX.com and follow WL and Josh on Twitter. Img.

• Last call to join the UPROXX Pool Of Awesome college hoops bracket. There will be prizes for the top three finishers.
• A terrific listing of the tournament games: who’s playing when, and who’s announcing it.
  Midwest Sports Fans.
• Here’s a bracket pitting each school’s alumni against one another in place of tournament teams.
  Rumors & Rants.
• A list of “Most Punchable Faces” in the tournament.
  G Money Sack.
• ESPN’s Jemele Hill made a bracket of ghetto movies. This has to be my favorite bracket gimmick so far.
  BracketMaker.
• Why do the show creators of TLC hate America?
  Uproxx.
• These fans of college basketball are pretty.
  Bleacher Report.
• This is one way to protest criminalizing marijuana in the United States…
  Hail Mary Jane.

The Morning Meat brings plates up the best of news, scores and links of the day. It’s what your life would be like all the time if you had attractive friends. Send us tips at WithLeather-Tips@UPROXX.com and follow WL and PUNTE on Twitter. Click Imgs to embiggen.

THE BACON.

Ousted, from the third round of the BNP Paribas Open in Indian Wells, CA, Roger Federer, by 33rd-ranked Marcos Baghdatis of Cyprus. Federer’s 44 unforced errors in the match were reportedly described by one fan as “Insane in the membrane.”

Fast-tracked, by the NHL, rule changes prohibiting head shots with the goal of implementing them during the season. Any such rules would require passage from the league’s competition committee, and then unanimous approval from the board of governors. Chances are considered good for the new rules, since neither of those steps involves Nancy Pelosi.

Ordered, $8 million worth of condoms from the UN, by Philippines (one L, two Ps) Health Secretary Esperanza Cabral, using nearly half of that country’s grant from the Global Fund. As reported HIV cases around the world “declined by 17 percent from 2001 to 2010,” HIV reports from the Philippines more than tripled during that same period.

THE EGGS.

NBA

Suns 152, T’wolves 114.

Lakers 106, Kings 99.

Cavs 113, Pistons 101.

NHL

Capitals 7, Panthers 3.

THE LINKS.

• Tim Tebow is going to throw today! I can’t wait to see if zzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZ
  The Legend of Cecilio Guante.
• Crappy St. Patty’s Day sports merchandise. Sorry, but if I can’t drink it, I’m not interested.
  Simon on Sports.
• Gary Busey wants to help you adjust your lights…Hey, where’d he go?
  FilmDrunk.
• Sperm as people. I’m ashamed that I didn’t think of this sooner.
  Warming Glow.
• My penguin cartoon from KSK was yesterday’s 7th-most watched “Pets and Animals” video on YouTube yesterday. And you, too, can make a successful YouTube video…
  Uproxx.
• …or a shorter video.
  Uproxx.
• Rays outfielder Fernando Perez is “poor,” because he can’t afford to shower in Evian, apparently.
  Jonah Keri.
• You had me at “personal rocket copter.”
  Gamma Squad.

THE LINKS

• THE interview to get before the NFL Draft: Football front office legend Gil Brandt
  Midwest Sports Fans [audio]
• This is cool: Make your own 3D video camera for about $300.
  Uproxx.
• Matt Ufford interviewed Bear Grylls, and it was as awesome as you would expect it to be.
  Warming Glow.
• Some former NBA player got busted for hiding pot in his ass. I guess NBA players are actually hiding pot now.
  Guyism.
• If LeBron isn’t coming back next season, the season ticket holders don’t seem to be noticing. Or caring.
  Scott Sargent.
• The best cartoon of penguins analyzing the Jake Delhomme trade that you’ll see all day.
  Kissing Suzy Kolber.
• As solid a Tiger Woods timeline as you’ll find on the internet.
  Devil Ball Golf.
• How to play poker with all those perifs that you bought for Guitar Hero.
  The Bachelor Guy.

Just the best links of the day in your latest Meat; send us tips at WithLeather-Tips@UPROXX.com and follow WL and Josh on Twitter.