Thou shalt not steal. As Tim Tebow would tell us all, that’s one of the first laws written by man. As an Internet writer and avid Tweeter, I’m one of the first people you’ll hear pissing and moaning about thievery because I’ve had jokes, terrible photoshops and even With Leather posts stolen many times. But I’ve always chalked it up to the nature of the game because we’re all hustlers out here trying to make that cheddar, or something like that. My point is that I always credit my sources because I respect creative property and integrity. I just wish others shared that belief.

That’s how we’ve come to this whole SOPA mess. Despite what people are erroneously Tweeting as fast as they can type, it’s not about people who post sh*t on their Facebook, Twitter or Tumblr pages. Well, not entirely. It’s about the sites like the defunct ChannelSurfing.net and others that illegally stream sports games, TV shows and movies. It’s about the torrent sites that allow people to steal music and movies. It’s about sh*t that’s illegal and wrong. The Internet certainly needs laws and crap most certainly needs to be flushed.

But that doesn’t mean that us innocent folk aren’t going to get caught in the wake. I’m against SOPA because I don’t like the idea of giving networks and corporations the power to crush us just because they feel like it. All power needs limitations and I need to know there’s a difference between some dick in Europe giving away free movies and me posting a clip of Blake Griffin dunking. I also don’t like ignorant politicians who are blatantly lining their pockets trying to cram a bill down our throats because they doesn’t understand this wild, crazy Internet and they believe that we’re all young punk thieves, when we’re actually the last frontier of creativity.

SOPA and PIPA were created by wealthy people with hair trigger mentalities. Both bills have foundations that are understandable, but they are still allowing people with money to have control over the voices of us that have little to no means of defending ourselves. Basically, they could take away my right to criticize people. It’s not a certainty, but I’ll be damned if I’ll even allow someone to open the door to the idea of taking away my God-given right of calling someone a douchebag because that douchebag doesn’t like it.

That said, here are some pictures of Kelly Brook supporting New Look lingerie, because that’s what my Internet was meant to give us. I assume she did this both in opposition to SOPA and clothing.

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It’s hard to find an article about this guy on the Internet that isn’t full of cursing and colloquialisms about pussy, so I’m going to do my best. The guy pictured on the right is “hixvillehunk,” and he’s spent a good chunk of the month on top of DraftStreet.com’s leaderboards. As you may have read/skimmed past, With Leather has been doing promotions with DraftStreet over the last couple of months, and if my rage at finishing 54th in fantasy baseball means anything, we’ll be doing another one soon. Anyway, this jerk popped $60 bucks into DraftStreet to play fake sports and has turned it into over NINE THOUSAND DOLLARS. Over nine thousand? That’s impossible!

This isn’t a skinny person standing inside a giant pair of jeans, this is an actual guy you can fact check. We ran a promo code during the previous contest to get you in on this racket, and thankfully I’ve made enough phone calls to non-wrestlers to get another one: If you go over and sign up for free on behalf of With Leather, you can use the promo code “uproxx25″ to get 25 free dollars. Use it like this Internet weirdo instead of me and you could be having jaded bloggers write angry posts about you within a month.

9,000 dollars. Jesus. Do you know how long it takes me to make 9,000 dollars? I think the first time took me about 25 years. But to my credit I’m old, and the closest thing we had to making money on fantasy sports was betting on Strat-o-Matic.

A widely-shared but not necessarily sourced poll from Sports Illustrated reveals that if the NFL season doesn’t happen, people will use their extra time on things less important than football: love, cleanliness, fun, spirituality and communication.

Half of NFL fans (47.5%) say they would watch more non-sports TV and 61.2 percent would watch more of other televised sports without the NFL season. Fans would also spend more time surfing the internet (56.1%), with significant others (45.1%), doing yard work chores (43.6%), playing video games (33.5%) and at church (13%).

Don’t you love how the answers people came up with read like the “activities” category on a 15-year old girl’s Facebook profile? I like surfing the internet, spending time with my boyfriend, hanging out and going to church! It’s also pretty revealing that football fans seriously don’t have anything better to do. The line between a sitcom husband and a vegetative state is whether or not the Browns are playing. And look, they’d rather be on the Internet (surfing it) than spend time with their families. Poll: What would you do if your wife was killed in a car accident? “I’d probably visit more websites.”

Somewhere the guys at Bleacher Report are out trying to end football and kill your wife.

Matthew Partridge is a man with a dream – he wants to walk from one side of Britain to the other. This brave soul is doing it just because he wants to, with no social commentary or political agenda. Nope, Matthew simply wants to prove to himself that he can make the 1,200-mile journey on his own, and nobody will stand in his way. Except maybe a bad Internet connection.

Partridge’s walk from Land’s End to John O’Groats will take place entirely on Google Street View, because he’s far too busy to bother with things like training to walk. Instead he is training to sit at his computer for 10 hours per day and pretend to walk thanks to Google’s virtual mapping. And even though there are millions of people throughout the world whose jobs require them to sit in front of computers for 8 to 10 hours per day, Partridge is still treating this as it’s some sort of serious grueling physical task. Big whoop, I’ve made it through 2,000 pages of PornHub in less than three days.

Write this story with your poking stick, The Sun:

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