You know those annoying Facebook macros going around with a picture of the Angry Beavers on it or whatever, with a big caption reading “ONLY 90S KIDS WOULD REMEMBER THIS CLICK LIKE” across the top? The Philadelphia Phillies made an entire night out of that.
Wednesday’s 3-2 loss to Brandon Bronson Arroyo was ’90s Retro Night at Citizens Bank Park, and as the mascot-loving guy behind the Sports On TV column I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t share the clip of the Phillie Phanatic dancing with the Spice (Ball) Girls or the hilariously thrown-together photoshops depicting Charlie Manuel as Wilson from ‘Home Improvement’, or whatever. It’s the kind of night that makes being at the ballpark fun, except for all the losing.
Most of the pictures come with a hat-tip to my good friend Mr. Joey Odorisio, and the ones that don’t are credited where applicable. What are you waiting for? Check them out. There’s a really creepy shot of Chase Utley as Dylan from ‘Beverly Hills 90210′ waiting somewhere on the other side of this jump.
On the last installment of Sports On TV, we tackled ‘The Wire’, a romanticized look at inner-city life and law in Baltimore, Maryland. If we drive an hour, then get into a fight on a basketball court and fly across the country, we’ll be ready for ‘The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air’, the 1990s sitcom that launched rapper Will Smith into mega movie stardom and gave ‘Silver Spoons’ star Alfonso Ribeiro an awesome paycheck for like seven years.
‘The Fresh Prince’ is one of my sentimental favorites (as longtime readers of The Dugout may know), so I was excited to tackle its 20 Greatest Sports Moments. I got something like 15 just from season 1 guest stars. Biggest possible thanks goes to Josh Koebert for helping me out with the images. Follow him on Twitter, he deserves your love for making this happen.
You’re probably already singing the theme song in your head, so let’s make this happen. The 20 greatest sports moment of ‘The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air’.
Yep, that’s Frank Thomas shooting the puck at a Chicago Blackhawks game and not immediately collapsing in agony. Retirement must be going well for him. Maybe he got a pair of robot legs installed. (via Rant Sports)
As a kid who grew up fearing the pink aisle because of what it said about me, I’m happy kids like this are starting to exist.
I hope everyone had a great Christmas. I spent Christmas Eve facepalming in Cowboys Stadium and I don’t even like the Cowboys. If you got gifts and want to let strangers know about them, tell us what you got in the comments section below. We’ve got staggered, “thread” style commenting enabled now, so people can troll you directly.
On A Christmas Story, Its Lessons For Hip-Hop & Biggie Smalls - “Rich and chocolate like Ovaltine!” – Ludacris, probably [Smoking Section]
New And Improved And Watchable Jingle All The Way - This makes me want to spend all day watching Commando. [UPROXX]
The 100 Greatest Christmas Shows - My pal Mike Westfall’s list from 2004, which sadly cannot include Annie Edison putting baby Jesus in the tree. Still a pretty definitive list. [Progressive Boink]
All I Want For Christmas Is A ‘Game Of Thrones’ Teaser And A Fresh Prince Reunion - My weirdest and most Abed-like career goal is to buy (or recreate) the set from The Fresh Prince, live there, and occasionally have James Avery stop by and hang out with me. Getting him to say WHAT THE BLAZES would be a bonus. [Warming Glow]
20 Screaming Santa Visits - I feel like kids who cry on Santa’s lap are fundamentally wrong, and this should be an indicator that what you’re doing isn’t working. A child should not be terrified of someone who wants to give them tons of gifts and already has their parents’ permission. They’re going to suck when they get older. [Buzzfeed]
The Colts Choked When They Tried To Suck - That gif is just the greatest thing in the world. And yes, the Texans blowing that game was a Christmas present to Indianapolis and/or St. Louis, you can’t convince me otherwise. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
Hey Zelda Fans – The Timeline Exists, And Here It Is - I can’t believe I’m actually looking at this thing. It’s like I’ve found my way to El Dorado. [Gamma Squad]
Every Batman Suit Ever - Also, a great reminder that everything ever said by Batman not written for The Animated Series or the Justice League cartoon is f**king stupid sounding. [Film Drunk]
The 25 Greatest MMA Photos Of 2011 - MMA would be 100% better if they didn’t do that forced staredown thing every single time. Also, pro wrestling would be better if they didn’t try to do the MMA staredown for their video packages every week. [Cage Potato]
Lindsey Vonn Says She Isn’t Dating Tim Tebow - … but isn’t “opposed” to dating him. Well, hopefully that changed after this weekend. [Sportress Of Blogitude]
ACW: Delusions Of Our Childish Days 2011 - The Dirty Dirty Sheets review of the latest Anarchy show in Austin. Still not 100% on why I’m not their correspondent for these things, but hey. Rachel Summerlyn in a Santa suit. [DirtyDirtySheets]
In West Philadelphia, born and raised, Will Smith now spends most of his days building Scientology schools – although he’s not a member – and throwing Marc Anthony awesome birthday parties at Miami Dolphins games. But much like Captain Steven Hiller, Smith is here to save the world, and of course by world I mean a NBA franchise. Smith and his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, have purchased a minority share of the Philadelphia 76ers.
I can only pray to live in a world when a black man can one day purchase a majority. WELCOME TO EARFF, BILLBOARD!
According to CSN Philly, the couple acquired part of the team as it was being sold from Comcast-Spectacor to a group of investors led by multibillionaire Joshua Harris. Harris held a press conference at the Palestra on Tuesday morning to announce the plans of the team’s new ownership. “It is an honor to become part of this storied franchise. We have a lot of work to do, but we have a rich history, a strong foundation and a bright future,” says Harris.
And despite the fact that the lockout prohibits contact between owners and players, guard Evan Turner is already stoked about Smith’s purchase without even meeting the star of Wild Wild West.
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- If you aren’t familiar with the Hell In A Cell concept, be sure to check out The Masked Man’s excellent Hell In A Cell preview over at Grantland. Also, bug him on the Internet so he’ll fill in for me on one of these reports one day. I can return the favor to him by filling in for Chuck Klosterman and remembering Ninja Turtles.
The Best and Worst of WWE Hell In A Cell is after the jump. Enjoy.