This is it. They’re never going to top this one. Taiwan Animation covered Dennis Rodman’s trip to the Vatican with a game of NBA Jam, pitting Rodman and the Pope against evil lawyers, dunking altar boys and RICHARD SIMMONS (to represent gay people). At one point, Simmons gets “on fire” and Rodman puts him out with a hose.

Dude. Dude. This is it. God (and The Pope) bless you, Next Media Animation.

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Last week, after ABC News talking figure and human alfalfa sprout George Snuffleupagus was finished feeling like a big boy for tearing NBA legend Dennis Rodman a new B-hole over his visit to North Korea, our beloved friend Matt Ufford wrote this takedown of the whole ordeal, and if you haven’t read it, you should, because it’s the good only thing you’ll read about Rodman for the rest of his life.

I say that not to be a dick, but because thanks to Snuffleupagus – whose name I refuse to spell correctly because he was a dick to Rodman – Rodman now thinks that he should travel the world and try to make other people love the U.S. again. And while the idea of reaching out to countries that hate us and probably want to nuke us is great, I could name 1 million people I’d send before I ever even thought of Rodman.

Anyway, Rodman told TMZ that he was heading to Rome to offer his advice to the Vatican on selecting a new pope, and he wasn’t kidding, because as you can see above, he’s actually in Rome. And if you think this is a joke, it’s not, because TMZ caught Rodman before his flight and this dude really wants us to think he is smart.

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Of course the only picture I could find of Alex Rodriguez's doctor has Nick Nolte in it.

New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently took a little trip to Germany to meet with Dr. Peter Wehling, who is the former doctor of Pope John Paul II and the guy who made Kobe Bryant’s knee feel better last year. Wehling is operating on – or has operated on, depending on the time zone difference – Rodriguez’s knee and shoulder, which have both been hampering the All-Star’s ability to perform at the level of a man who is paid $27.5 million per year. If you’re a Yankees fan, you should probably feel good about this because Wehling has a reputation for being legit.

And Wehling knows that his reputation is great, because he also makes some pretty ridiculous claims like:

“I am the only one to have found a way to cure arthritis,” he said. (Via ESPN)

I couldn’t ever become a doctor because if I see blood, I turn into a 3-year old girl. But if I were a doctor, I would want to be like Wehling. Whether he can or can’t cure arthritis won’t mean much to me for another decade or so, but if I had been the man responsible for keeping Pope J.P. the Deuce alive until the ripe age of 85, I’d be a little boastful, too.

Like, I’d walk into bars and tell the first hot girl I saw that she looks like she might have Shlarvenblarvenblitis, and she’d say, “I don’t know what that is, is it deadly?” And I’d respond, “It could be, but the only way to cure it is for you to rub your breasts in my face.” Then I’d high five the Pope and tell A-Rod to sock a few dingers.