n/t

If you haven’t signed up for this week’s Fantasy Baseball Challenge through FanDuel.com, what are you waiting for? Brian Wilson to write “FanDuel” on his crotch and waggle it at you?

This week we’re only allowing 275 spots, but you’re in luck — you can register up to three times for only two bucks a pop and earn your shot at winning money from a $500 cash pool. That’s $500 for making a figurative wanking motion at a picture of the stupidest person at The ESPYs and spending 5 minutes setting up a baseball team. It’s fun, it’s incredibly easy and you’re guaranteed to at least finish higher than me.

Here’s what we do, if you haven’t played yet:

I can only badger you to sign up and play so many times, and the game starts tonight, Friday the 13th so get in under the wire and win some money! If you win some, send me 20 bucks. I’ve got my eyes on this great knit cap.

Chances are if you watched the ESPYs last night you’re either way too desperate for sports, a 13-year old girl obsessed with Justin Bieber, a young male perv obsessed with Brooklyn Decker, or you lost your remote. While I qualify for that third option with flying colors, I chose not to watch ESPN’s annual celebration of the day after the MLB All-Star Game because it’s a silly, meaningless display of ass-kissing. I mean, how the hell can you claim that Jimmer Fredette was better than Kemba Walker or that the Dallas Mavericks were a better team than the San Francisco Giants or the Green Bay Packers? It’s speculative and lazy, and anyone who takes it seriously (SPOILER ALERT: The athletes don’t) needs to put down the second helping of Totino’s Pizza Rolls and step outside for some fresh air.

But damn ESPN and their wicked manipulation, because they know better than to just give us straight-forward sports. The World Wide Leader used Decker, Emmanuelle Chiqrui, Amber Heard, Rachel Nichols, and, for the ladies, Ryan Reynolds to make us think that this is actually a worthwhile event, and not just an ad revenue source for the year’s worst day of sports. It’s diabolical, sure. But we’re stuck with it, so we can either keep fighting or we can give in and agree to stare at Decker and the rest of the attractive women (and men, for the two girls that read this site).

After the jump, the best of the Red Carpet, ESPYs, and the post-show thing where people stand around and smile.

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While baseball fans and fans of the NFL and NBA with nothing to live for watched the MLB All-Star Game last night, ESPN and bored athletes hosted pre-parties for the world’s most popular awards show – The ESPYs. Because, you know, athletes aren’t rewarded enough by winning their sports. But the star-studded affair is the talk of Los Angeles and the sports world today because, well, what the hell else are we going to talk about? Unless you want to give out your own ESPYs to pass the time until baseball resumes tomorrow. Because that’s not lame at all.

Since the ESPYs are live we can’t enjoy the fun of publishing spoilers all day (who is going to win the ESPY for Best Lockout???) but we can at least make fun of the people involved a little. Like Erin Andrews, for instance, as she recently told Access Hollywood that she’s in love with Justin Bieber. I’m not sure if she used those words or not, but she couldn’t stop gushing over the pint-sized pop star, as well as Ryan Reynolds. Basically, she has a thing for Canadians. I believe that is treason.

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