A man who served as translator for Osama Bin Laden, one of the most notorious terrorists in the history of the world and possibly beyond, wrote in a letter that there was indeed one event that he believed to be worse than the attacks of 9/11. That event? The Decision.

With perhaps the best headline of the year – “Former translator for terror leader Osama bin Laden wants LeBron James to apologize to Cleveland” – NewsNet5 reports:

In a declassified letter to the Washington Times, Muhammad Rahim wrote, “Lebron James is a very bad man. He should apologize to the city of Cleveland.”

The Post got the letter from Carlos Warner, a lawyer representing Rahim. According to the paper’s column, Warner said Rahim’s sentiments made about James leaving the Cavs are because of his client’s tribal values, in which loyalty is most important and “betrayals are not tolerated or forgiven.”

A lot has changed since the Decision – including Dwight Howard blowing James away in the total a-hole department – but I’d say we’ve finally reached the apex of absurdity when it comes to just how seriously people took it, no matter how hilarious this story is.

And it gets better. Rahim, who is currently living it up at the posh and swanky Guantanamo Bay resort, also wrote that he was jealous of another “resident” of Gitmo for having a cat. So Rahim wanted a cat, too. Sadly, that cat also turned out to be a terrorist and it was handled accordingly…

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Earlier this month, Orlando’s Local 6 Sports Director David “Ping” Pingalore reported that Dwight Howard told Orlando Magic management that he wanted coach Stan Van Gundy fired. This story “broke” on April 4, and it led to one of the most amazingly awkward interviews in NBA history, when Van Gundy told reporters point blank that he knew Howard tried to have him fired, and then Howard interrupted the interview and put his arm around Van Gundy, completely oblivious to what just happened. Howard’s reaction when the reporters filled him looked a little like this:

The problem with Ping’s report was that it wasn’t anything new. Magic writers like Jarrod Rudolph had reported months ago that Howard wanted Van Gundy out, but it went unnoticed because it hadn’t been preceded by two months of trade deadline drama. Ping’s “sources” – which we’ll discuss in a moment – and their #HOTTGOSS were more timely and convenient for the NBA media that needed something to fill the downtime between the trade deadline and the playoffs. So Ping was heralded for this so-called scoop, and he was given a free pass for his next aimless, unsubstantiated breaking story.

That story, of course, was this week’s report that Howard refused to play for Van Gundy and was faking his herniated disc injury as a protest. Well if that’s true, Howard is the most committed liar since George Costanza, because he is having season-ending surgery that will require four months of recovery.

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"Just kidding!"

File this story under “Throwing poop at a wall” and cross-reference it with “Duhhhhhhhh”.

Back when LeBron James told Jim Gray in an exclusive one-hour special on ESPN known as “The Decision” that he was “taking his talents to South Beach”, there was a small side conversation that a few sports talking heads had – I don’t remember who and I haven’t had enough coffee to check, but I agreed with whoever it was so whatevs – about the possibility of James returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers after his contract with the Miami heat was up and he’d won not one, not two, not three, etc. championships.

Fast forward to what is either a really slow news day or the most incredible inside scoop since Maverick Carter called Stephen A. Smith and told him James was going to Miami. Sam Amico of Fox Sports Ohio (via our comrade at Larry Brown Sports) claims that “sources” say that James is unhappy with the Heat organization. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before…

Sources in Miami say that while James still thoroughly enjoys playing alongside fellow stars Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, he doesn’t particularly care for the heavy-handed and disciplined style of team president Pat Riley.

James can opt out of his contract at the end of the 2013-14 season, and speculation is he will strongly consider it if Riley remains in his current role. And the team James would be eyeballing most in free agency, say those close to the situation, would be the Cavs.

If this happens – IF! – I can’t even imagine the criticism James will receive. It would blow the post-decision hatred and all of last season’s booing out of the water. Sure, the fans in Cleveland would probably forgive him in 1/10th of a heartbeat if he came crawling back, but Heat fans, Los Angeles Lakers fans, Boston Celtics fans and New York Knicks fans would DESTROY HIM.

Granted, this is two years from now, and he’s probably going to win a title or two before this matters, which would render all of that hate moot. So again this speculation is probably just pot-stirring. But it’s worth pointing out that writers are trying to get in on the ground floor of the “LeBron will return to Cleveland” prediction, but it’s way too obvious. Anybody who brags about that might as well join John Edwards in “predicting” that Khloe Kardashian will get knocked up this year. So bold, fellas.

With the 2010-11 NBA season wrapped up and with the 2011-12 season in danger as a lockout looms, we have some time to look back and analyze the undeniable significance of the impact that LeBron James had on not only this past season, but the future of the sport as a whole. We all knew that when James joined the league as a rookie, heralded at an almost unprecedented level, he was going to be a living spectacle. Maybe the purists had a better idea, but as an admitted Johnny-come-lately type of fan (read: last 10 years), I didn’t really expect what has become of this man who calls himself the “Chosen One” and “King”.

What James has shown us over the last year is that he’s a magician. Better yet, he’s an illusionist, Michael. He directs our attention to the stage – in this case the basketball court – and makes us focus on his play, and he tells us to keep watching because soon we’ll see the payoff, which is the NBA Championship that he desperately craves. But if you look away from the focal point for just a second, you’ll see his stagehands and assistants pulling strings, spinning mirrors and blowing smoke, because his actual goal is to be the biggest brand in the world.

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While just 4-6 in their last 10 games and slipping into the third seed in the Eastern Conference playoff scenario, the Miami Heat are now 2-0 since I imposed my “Win 18 in a row or else” law on them last week. I said the Heat couldn’t win against both the Los Angeles Lakers and the deceptively hot Memphis Grizzlies and they threw it back in my adorable face. Now the Heat face their biggest game of the season – IMO, as the Internet folk like to say – tonight in a rematch against the NBA’s best team, the San Antonio Spurs.

Back on March 4, the Spurs handed the Heat and their Three Kings their worst loss of the season with a 125-95 drubbing that makes a prison shower seem inviting. But Miami’s Two and a Half Superstars are more than likely going to be without center Zydrunas Ilgauskas tonight, as he was hospitalized with a foot infection. Meanwhile, Chris Bosh is averaging 21 points per game since being diagnosed with a yeast infection. I mean over the Heat’s two-game winning streak. Sorry, I got my thoughts mixed up.

So the question remains – can the Heat win 16 more games to match the regular season record of LeBron James’ 2009-10 Cleveland Cavaliers? And I have your answer after the jump…

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That Tweet above earned Fort Worth Star-Telegram writer Dwain Price a Top Tweet on Sunday (I have five to my record, but who is counting?) and his statement is now moot, because with the Miami Heat’s 105-96 loss to the Portland Trail Blazers at home last night, it is now impossible for LeBron James’ South Beach talents to finish with a better regular season record than his 2009-10 Cleveland Cavaliers. With 18 games left on the schedule, the Heat would have to win all of them to match the Cavs’ 61-21 record from last year. And with the resurgent Los Angeles Lakers and the red hot Memphis Grizzlies up next, I’m going to assume that’s not happening.

So as the Heat have dropped five straight, coach Erik Spoelstra admitted to the media that his players cried after losing to the Chicago Bulls on Sunday and then blamed the media for reporting it, and Orlando Magic coach Stan Van Gundy is suddenly praised for his remarks about the Heat, it appears to be time to ask the big question – did LeBron make the wrong decision by choosing the Heat over staying in Cleveland and fulfilling his promise of winning a championship? And while the immediate answer is no, because he still has 18 games left to at least tie the Cavs’ NBA-best regular season record last year – oh, and the playoffs, of course – the question is going to be raised by everyone now. I’m just trying to prepare you.

Highlights of last night’s game after the jump…

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