The Big Ten Conference acknowledged their new division names probably weren’t as awesome as they originally thought. While the 12-school league did get credit for creating competitively balanced sets of teams, the groaning inspired by the monikers of “Legends” and “Leaders” for those divisions were too overwhelming to ignore.

The concept behind “Legends,” [Big Ten commish Jim] Delany said, “was to celebrate great performers over a century and recognize the past. Obviously, to a great extent it has fallen on deaf ears.”

Delany also said it was “surprising” to read polls indicating that that 90 percent of people do not like the names. “It’s humbling, to say the least,” he said, “because we’re trying to build fan bases, not push them away.”

–Chicago Tribune.

Everyone gets bent out of shape with the Big Ten, and after all, they really are bad at the name thing. They don’t intend to re-name themselves the Big 1T2en or call their divisions any geography-inspired titles. But at least they’re not the Big East. Now there’s a football league that’s really screwed up.

"This logo is the gayest thing I've ever seen..."

It’s official: I’m done apologizing for the Big Ten. Because this new logo for the NCAA’s Big Ten conference is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. If that logo was my newborn child, I would drown it in the bathtub and not even bother to make it look like an accident, because no jury would convict me for ridding the earth of something so irredeemable. And since the design came from a firm known as Pentagram, it’s clearly the work of Satan.

“The new Big Ten logo provides a contemporary identifying mark unifying 12 outstanding institutions,” said [ Big Ten Commissioner Jim] Delany. “It conveys some elements from the past while simultaneously introducing new features. We think the new logo is fun and has something for everyone.”

–BTN., via Midwest Sports Fans.

You are wrong. That logo is not fun. It is sad. It will scare children. It will cause political unrest in many sub-Saharan African nations. It makes me want to abandon hope for our world. These are all just nice ways of saying that I really, really hate it.

Oh, and the league as also named their new divisions. Leaders and Legends?! Someone please kill me.

As it turns out, Wrigley Field isn’t much of a football facility.

For those that missed it, the historic ballpark is actually hosting a college football game tomorrow against Northwestern and Illinois. But since the field doesn’t seem to be big enough for a regulation field, a ruling was handed down from the Big Ten dictating that…well, losers walk.

After seeing the tight configuration required to fit a football field in the home of the Chicago Cubs, James E. Delany, the commissioner of the Big Ten, announced that the teams would run all of their offensive plays in one direction, toward the western end zone. Every time the ball changes hands, the players will be turned around so the action heads west — toward the third-base dugout and away from the right-field wall.

The move followed a number of news reports that questioned whether the tight east-west configuration of the football field at Wrigley might cause an injury. For instance, a corner of the eastern end zone is less than two feet from the wall in the right-field corner, which has been padded for the game. The back of the center of the eastern end zone is six inches from the right-field wall, and the uprights are attached right to the wall. (The other goal post stands in front of the third-base dugout.)

–NYT.

Switching after every change of possession? That seems a little ridiculous. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just take 5 yards out of the middle of the field. Sure, that leaves you with a 95-yard field, but then at least you’d avoid the situation of players picking their teeth out of the ivy.

Of course, the internet has been loving this development.

It’s inevitable. As soon as Nebraska became the twelfth team in the Big Ten (thereby activating the opportunity for that league to host its own championship game), the rivalry that has in many ways defined that conference was in jeopardy. And while it’s easy to discount the national implications of Ohio State’s annual football tilt with Michigan, the local ramifications of moving the game off that third Saturday square will be drastic for both programs. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The Big Ten will be splitting into two divisions. Early reports have Ohio State and Michigan in separate divisions. That’s fine, whatever. But the more crucial discussion revolves around moving the game up the calendar, to October. The logic here is that this would give each team a chance to rebound from a loss in the polls and the standings, thus keeping one or both of the league’s powers in its conference championship picture.

Whether you care about the Big Ten or not, the proposal here is rather baffling: the Big Ten wants to INTENTIONALLY downgrading its biggest regular-season game, presumably so that it doesn’t upstage their own conference championship. And really, that’s what they’ll have to do to make sure anyone gives a damn about that game, because there will never be a Big Ten game bigger than The Game.

It’s easy for someone whose team never won anything before the 1990s to bash tradition, but think about the value of that game RIGHT NOW to both schools. In many years, Michigan has spoiled Ohio State’s season and vice versa. The Game has been a campaign climax for both schools for over 100 years. It is literally a one-game season. Ask anyone in Columbus or Ann Arbor; they’d be content with a 1-11 season, as long as the one came against their perennial arch rival.

The Game loses all of that if you make it just another date in conference play. And while it’s not as stylish as a true conference championship, one would be hard-pressed to argue that it’s less important. But this is the Big Ten, who can’t be be expected to value what it already has when it can’t even count the number of teams in its own damn league.

I don't know if you remember this, but Michigan lost to Appalachian State the first week of the college football season this year.  It was a pretty big deal because the Wolverines were the highest-ranked team ever to lose to a Division I-AA opponent.  I'm sure there were a lot of people in East Lansing happy that day to see their in-state rival fall so low.  Well, Michigan State's basketball team lost to Grand Valley State 85-82 in double overtime last night.  What's that?  You've never heard of GVSU?  That's probably because you've never been to the G to the muthafuckin' Rap (Grand Rapids, MI).  You probably also never heard of it because the Lakers are a Division II school.  Did I mention that Michigan State is ranked #8 in the pre-season AP Top 25 poll and expected to win the Big Ten this season?  Two things I will never say again: "Those poll makers know sure know their business!" and "The Big Ten looks strong this year!" 

Astute readers will remember that I encouraged you to begin referring to MSU's football squad as the "Achaeans" after their loss to mighty Northwestern a month ago.  That recommendation  now applies to all their athletic teams, unless you live in Flint and don't want to get shot.  Well, shot for a reason.  -KD