Steelers owner Dan Rooney pretty much owned western Pennsylvania before President Obama made him ambassador of Ireland, but he came stateside for no other apparent reason than to bitch about the rest of the NFL being on his lawn. Rooney is 78, and he’s had it with these young whipper-snappers and their 18-game season talk.

Steelers chairman Dan Rooney has arrived from Ireland. Weighs in on labor. Still doesn’t like 18 games. “I would rather not have the money.”

–NYT’s Judy Battista, via PFT.

That works, because I’ll totally take the money. But explain this to me: if Rooney did all of that fundraising for Obama, why the hell is Obama picking the Jets? No, I don’t really care why, either. And I think it’s time that I shut the hell up about politics for a while…

Current U.S. President and former Illinois Senator Barack Obama has gone on record and declared that if the Chicago Bears win the NFC Championship on Sunday,he will make plans to watch that team in Super Bowl XLV in Dallas.

At the end of a quick media spray of his Oval Office meeting with Chinese President Hu Jintao, Obama was asked by a journalist if he’s planning to head to the big game on Feb. 6 in Dallas.

“If the Bears win, I’m going no doubt,” Obama said matter-of-factly.

–CNN.

If he has the means and ability to see his favorite team in the Super Bowl, I have a hard time faulting him from doing that. It’s not like they aren’t already patting people down at the Super Bowl, anyway. Sure, your bomb-sniffing dog can stick his face in my balls. Can’t be too careful these days. Just because he happens to be a sitting head of state and the leader of the free world doesn’t mean he can’t get out of the House once in a while. Although, on the other hand GET BACK TO WORK, SUCKA! YOU’RE ON THE PEOPLE’S TIME! Whatever. It’s not like any of you work hard at your jobs, either.

We didn’t get to this last week, but it still warrants mentioning: America’s First Baller busted his lower lip in a pickup basketball game last week after taking an elbow to the face. Our sources indicate that it was a very nuanced and intellectual elbow.

Barack Obama received 12 stitches for his trouble, and says that he will continue to play in pickup games, although perhaps not with Rey Decerega, director of programs for the Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute, who authored said elbow to our commander-in-chief. I’ll leave the partisan flaming to you guys in the comments, because honestly, what the hell else would you people do down there…

So the leader of our free world participated in a pickup game featuring current and former NBA stars, and you can just stop reading here and finish out the “He’s just a regular guy!” or “He should be fixing the economy!” anecdote in your heads. Or

The game was played for a group of “wounded warriors” — troops injured in action — and participants in the White House’s mentoring program. It took place at a gym inside Washington’s Fort McNair, a short drive from the White House. The president was inside the gym for about two hours.

The reporters assigned to keep tabs on the president were shut out of the gym, forced to wait in vans outside. Asked why media coverage was blocked, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said Obama “just wanted to play.”

After the game some of the players joined Obama and a group of his friends for a barbecue at the White House, capping the president’s 49th birthday week. –from the monolith.

The first time I was critical of Obama making such public use of his free time, I was thoroughly destroyed in the comments. But I’m sure it felt great to come back from Iraq and watching my commander-in-chief running up and down the floor while I sat in a wheelchair would have done much to cheer me up. But that’s not the fight I want to pick here.

I want to know who the f–k put “wounded warriors” IN QUOTES! That is not a figurative expression. Those returning soldiers (a) served their country AT WAR, and (b) suffered significant injury. You might even say that THEY WERE WOUNDED. I will stab whoever wrote this in the eye, and then gloat endlessly about how I “wounded” that person.

Where are my pills? And would it be “whoever” or “whomever?” Whatever. Sometimes I really hate Americans.

ASYLUM POLL: Is Obama taking it a bit too easy this August?

Here’s the latest cover of Golf Digest, and yep, that’s President Obama with Tiger Woods right behind him. Is that an actual photograph? Is it poorly timed and funny as hell? Absolutely. I bet that would have been a fun 18 holes, though. Actually, I was talking about the golf just then.

Img created by Michael Elins for Golf Digest. Couldn’t have made that last name up if I tried.

Unlike Barack Obama’s ceremonial first pitch in St. Louis this past summer, America’s 44th president put his pitch for the 2016 Summer Olympics. The International Olympic Committee will announce its decision on Friday. It’s pretty much the standard Obama stump address: we are the world, can’t we all just get along, so on and so forth. And I’m kinda hoping that Chicago actually does get the Olympics, if only so I can keep using this photoshop. Oh, and for the goodwill of the world and all that crap. via.