Welcome to the most 1990s thing that ever existed.

For anyone who doesn’t know, ‘Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers’ was a live-action television series about teenagers who come together to use recycled Japanese action show footage to sell toys to American kids. It first aired on Fox Kids in 1993 and is still on, jumping from Fox to ABC to Toon Disney to Nickelodeon, changing its name and cast as many times as it needed to remain fresh. The most recent incarnation is ‘Power Rangers Super Samurai,’ but they’ve been Turbo, Zeo, in Space, in a Lost Galaxy and affixed with everything from time travel to dinosaurs and something called ‘jungle fury’.

Today, Sports On TV tackles the show that brought the Power Rangers to the dance — the first three seasons of ‘Mighty Morphin’ — featuring the original cast (mostly), the original bad guys and all the horrible dubbed-in dialogue and grainy footage that made the franchise a 20-year success. Yeah, I can’t figure it out either.

For your morphenomenal pleasures, I present to you my picks for the 20 greatest sports moments in ‘Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers’ history.

As an added bonus, you can MAKE YOUR MONSTER GROWWWW and unlock the Rita Repulsa badge by sharing Sports On TV: Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers’ 20 Greatest Sports Moments on Facebook and Twitter. All you have to do is click the handy-dandy share buttons at the bottom of the post, and the badge is yours. What better way to say “I know a lady who spent 10,000 years on the moon”?

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Back in 1992, McDonald’s put bacon and barbecue sauce on a quarter-pounder with cheese and called it the ‘McJordan,’ because (according to the ad campaign), bacon, barbecue sauce and the other mustards and horse meats that go into making a quarter-pounder with cheese were Michael Jordan’s “favorite ingredients”. The promotion came and went, but it was not forgotten. You can’t just put your own bacon and barbecue sauce on a quarter-pounder, these are Michael Jordan’s FAVORITE INGREDIENTS and that dude was a PRO STAR, not to mention the greatest basketball player of all time. Some people were left craving McDonald’s unique blend of herbs and chemicals, unable to satiate their incredibly specific hungers. It’s just gone. Hell, I know how they feel. I was all about the Arch Deluxe for the however-many months that thing was around.

The story here should be, “hey, remember a cheeseburger from 20 years ago,” but some people never give up on their dreams. 20 full years later, a man has placed a winning bid on eBay of $9,995 for a jug of authentic McJordan barbecue sauce. Keep hope alive!

Who knows if that’s even McJordan barbecue sauce? Some Internet stranger could’ve made 10 grand putting George Foreman grill drainings into a service jug. Regardless, the bid has been placed, and somewhere, somehow, an assumedly super, super fat guy is accurately recreating something that was better than the McRib, but worse than literally all other food.

The funny thing is that Jordan didn’t even EAT the McJordan. He was a Big Mac man. Proof:

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This is a video of Charles Barkley in a bar doing a karaoke version of “End of the Road” by Boyz II Men. Let all the parts of that sentence really sink in for a minute. 1) Charles Barkley. 2) In a bar. 3) Doing karaoke. 4) Singing “End of the Road” by Boyz II Men. 5) On video. YES. And as if all that weren’t enough, I have some more exciting news for you: Charles Barkley is a terrible singer. TERRIBLE. Like, he’s so bad that he blows right past “Ugh, get this guy off the stage” and lands firmly in “Jesus Christ, this is almost like performance art, let’s try to get him to sing ‘The Greatest Love of All’ or something just to see what happens.” As one of the Internet’s foremost experts on “End of the Road,” I can confidently say that the first 60 seconds of this video represent the single worst rendition of the song I’ve ever heard.

But then.

BUT THEN.

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We cover pro wrestling a little more than we should these days, because it turns out a lot of people want to read about fake fighting on legitimate comedy sports blogs and because more of us watched it when we were kids than we’d like to admit. Some of us still do, and have blogging jobs instead of working in an office somewhere and having the respect of anyone.

I’ve been looking for a way to follow-up on the WWF Legends Minimalist Poster Gallery from earlier this month, and pro wrestling personality/friend of the site Kyle Durden gave me a great idea … what’s more WWF and minimalist than actual pro wrestling promo 8x10s? Nothing, it turns out, especially if you find the ones from the late 1980s/early 1990s, after wrestling had been popular but before it got popular again. That’s a gold mine.

So here’s a look into the WWF promo photos gold mine. A preview of what you’ll find inside: Dusty Rhodes as a laughing garbage man, Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake going from normal human being to crazy-eyed monster in four years and the Bushwhackers playing in somebody’s raked leaves. By the end of the gallery you may no longer be able to stand. That’s normal.

Let me know which ones are your favorites in the comments section below.

[all photos via ImageEvent]

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You know those annoying Facebook macros going around with a picture of the Angry Beavers on it or whatever, with a big caption reading “ONLY 90S KIDS WOULD REMEMBER THIS CLICK LIKE” across the top? The Philadelphia Phillies made an entire night out of that.

Wednesday’s 3-2 loss to Brandon Bronson Arroyo was ’90s Retro Night at Citizens Bank Park, and as the mascot-loving guy behind the Sports On TV column I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t share the clip of the Phillie Phanatic dancing with the Spice (Ball) Girls or the hilariously thrown-together photoshops depicting Charlie Manuel as Wilson from ‘Home Improvement’, or whatever. It’s the kind of night that makes being at the ballpark fun, except for all the losing.

Most of the pictures come with a hat-tip to my good friend Mr. Joey Odorisio, and the ones that don’t are credited where applicable. What are you waiting for? Check them out. There’s a really creepy shot of Chase Utley as Dylan from ‘Beverly Hills 90210′ waiting somewhere on the other side of this jump.

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The immediate future, I guess.

If you wanted to feel really f**king super old today, this year’s college freshmen were born in 1994. This is a drag, especially for freshman-level college professors who accidentally say “Pulp Fiction” in class and get stared at until they mention it’s what Elmer Fudd and Yosemite Sam were parodying in Space Jam. Then you have to explain what Elmer Fudd, Space Jam, movies, parodies and references are. (Tip: they’re the thing from Family Guy.)

The Beloit College Mindset List helps combat that by putting out a yearly list for college professors, reminding them via nonscientific study that kids born in 1994 “see the world in a different way”. If you’re wondering what this has to do with sports, one of the notes mentioned is that kids grew up in the 1990s having no idea that L.A. had a football team (much less two of them) or that Cal Ripken wasn’t just given the consecutive games record by default.

From CF News 13:

Remember when suitcases had to be carried instead of rolled? Or when an airline ticket was a booklet of pages separated by carbon paper? Maybe you remember when Lou Gehrig held the Major League record for consecutive baseball games played.

This year’s college freshmen don’t.

They never lived in a world where Kurt Cobain was alive or an NFL team played its home games in Los Angeles. The Class of 2016 has no need for radios, watches television everywhere except on actual TV sets, and is addicted to “electronic narcotics.”

The article goes on to say kids think ‘The Twilight Zone’ is about vampires and quickly includes a quote from an 18-year old saying “no we don’t”, so remember that this is intended to remind teachers how ignorant their kids are gonna be and is in no way accurate. I mean, hell, I know Cleveland had an NHL team even if they merged with the North Stars two years before I was born and like 27 years before I moved to Ohio.

For anyone reading this who sincerely doesn’t remember the Los Angeles Rams, watch this video. Never forget.

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