You’d think that as a heavily tattooed boxer with a mohawk, cruiserweight Juan Carlos Robles would be maxed out on badass cred.  Well, not quite.  Robles wears a necklace… made from his own finger. THAT HE CUT OFF HIMSELF.

Following a 2007 motorcycle wreck that left him with a broken kneecap, fractured forearm, and dislocated elbow, Robles didn’t have the insurance coverage to amputate a pinkie finger that was mangled by road rash…

So he went home, put towels over the kitchen table and blocked off a working area with several two-by-fours. He put gauze around the area and twisted soldering wire around his right pinkie to slow the flow of blood.

“Then I put a wood chisel on it and dropped a 15-pound weight on the chisel,” Robles said. “The piece shot out about six feet like a missile.”

Well hold on just a second.  Before you go thinking that’s the coolest thing you’ve ever heard, wait for me to tell my story.  You see, one time I had a zit inside my nostril.  I knew it was going to hurt, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.  Long story short, that’s a very sensitive area, and it’s natural for the body to react by producing tears.

[Deadspin]

Tampa Bay's Chris Simms surprised some folks in the know by passing on the free agent market to sign a new two-year deal that could be worth up to $14.5 million if he meets several performance incentives. Simms signed the contract and even had a good attitude despite Coach Jon Gruden's constant criticism and public statements that Simms would have competition to win the starter's spot next year.

"Coach is going to make those contortions no matter who his quarterback is," [Simms] said. "If Peyton Manning was quarterback and he didn't complete a pass on third-and-10, I don't think Coach's reaction would be much different. He wants to win just as badly as we do, so he's going to continue to do that and be hard on the quarterback position. That's something that when you're playing quarterback for him you're going to have to deal with."

I'm almost impressed. Then you consider this:

Simms showed up at [practice] wearing the Christmas gift he got from the Bucs training staff. It's a black T-shirt with the phrase "Got Spleen?" written in white across the chest.

And that's pretty cool. It's kind of like my "Got Gigantic Balls?" t-shirt, only the opposite. Because I have gigantic balls, you see.

In case you missed it, semi-literate blowhard Michael Irvin called Tiki Barber a "quitter" and a distraction from his team for deciding to retire after this season. Well, Tiki may smile a lot and seem like a nice guy, but he's not afraid to call a spade a shovel. He fired back at some of his detractors in the media:

"I will call them 'idiots' because they have neither spoken to me nor any one of my teammates or any of my coaches, yet all they do is criticize me for being a distraction with this retirement thing."

Yes, but who are you talking about, Tiki? 

"That includes New York Daily News columnist Gary Myers, that includes Tom Jackson on ESPN, that includes the ultimate character guy, facetiously speaking, of course, Michael Irvin (of ESPN), please get a clue how to be a journalist. Don't make blanket assumptions about it (retirement). And obviously, as was evidence (Monday) night, I am a huge distraction to the New York Giants."

I just love how Tiki calls out people with surgical precision. He not only names names, he includes their place of employment so you know exactly who won't be interviewing him any time soon. And Irvin certainly has no idea what "facetious" means, which I suspect is another calculated move. Then he finishes the quote by basically saying, "Scoreboard, bitches."

I admit, I used to think Tiki was a little douche-y (hello, just look at that photo), but it looks like he's got a little badass in him. Good work, Mr. Barber. Keep calling out dipshits, and maybe we can hang out.