It’s not as low-rent as the Oklahoma City Thunder shilling Jeeps, but here are the San Antonio Spurs in a commercial for steaks from Texas supermarket chain H-E-B because, hey, I have that grocery store!

Fun fact: They say H-E-B stands for “here everything’s better,” but it actually stands for “Howard Edward Butt”. BUY YOUR GROCERIES AT BUTT. (via Bush League Chronicle)

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- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
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Links

Writer’s Room: Audiences More Entertaining Than the Movie |Film Drunk|

15 Super Famous Actors Who You May Not Have Known Played Football |With Leather|

Ranking All Of Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s 28 Nicknames |UPROXX|

Today We Learned Sue Heck From ‘The Middle’ Is Super Cute In Real Life |Warming Glow|

Let’s Talk Possible ‘Episode VII’ Directors |Gamma Squad|

Big Boi And Andre 3000 Speak On Outkast’s Future … Separately |Smoking Section|

Tiki Barber Is Hilariously Desperate For Money |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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I'm gonna try to win the Pulitzer with this one.

Austin, Texas, has 8-10 festivals every weekend, but this weekend was a big one: the 7th annual Fun Fun Fun Fest, featuring a reunited Run DMC, everyone from Public Image Ltd to X to f**king Kreayshawn and a cannon that shoots tacos. It’s the weird little brother of SXSW, and it’s the best.

It’s also full of sports, and because 1) I was there, and 2) I run a sports blog, I documented all of it to share with you here. I actually got to participate in some of it, too. My jobs as a returning judge for the Air Sex Championships and hosting gig for a veggie hot dog eating contest got me billed as a “Yellow State Artist,” meaning I performed (as it were) on the same stage as David Cross, Eugene Mirman, H. Jon Benjamin, Saul Williams and a magician who did a racist ventriloquist act and pulled ribbons out of a chicken’s ass. It was one of the coolest, best experiences I’ve ever had, and that’s not even mentioning how I got a crowd of hipsters to join me in a Daniel Bryan “YES” chant.

Inside this Golden Treasury of sports photos you’ll find:

- Skateboarding and BMX at “Ride The Plank,” sponsored by Project LOOP
- Pro wrestling courtesy of local pals Anarchy Championship Wrestling
- Mechanical bull riding
- The aforementioned Air Sex Championships, which gets covered a lot on With Leather these days and is exactly what it sounds like.
- The veggie hot dog eating contest

Stick around until the very end to see a shirtless fat guy in a horse mask squaring off against a punk rock pornstar. That is not clickbait, that actually happened. I love you, Fun Fun Fun Fest.

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Back in August, I told you about Summer League, a softball-versus-kickball movie from the folks at Austin-based Greenless Studios. We were trying to raise enough money to rent a mascot costume for a crucial, duck-related scene near the end of the film, and thanks to us having the best readers in the world (and a timely tweet from the compassionate Mr. Vince Mancini) we ended up raising about a third of the film’s budget. Because we weren’t trying to scam you, Summer League exists now, and it looks GORGEOUS.

Of course, I don’t know if you just assumed this based on the fact that I’m a nerdy wrestling fan blogger, but I am not one of the beautiful, svelte ingenues on the primary poster, nor am I one of those guys behind them. I wasn’t born with that weird gene that makes facial hair grow in attractively. I did, however, make the secondary poster, and I did it in a motherf**king duck suit, because life is bizarre and With Leather is the best website ever.

That poster (the heel poster, for the record) and a Man Of Steel-quality teaser trailer, are after the jump. Share this with everybody you know so I’ll get to keep being in movies, would you?

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As an extremely, extremely low-level celebrity in the Austin, Texas, area, I’ve gotten to participate in a lot of cool things. I’m co-hosting a veggie hot dog eating contest at this year’s Fun Fun Fun Fest, I’ve participated in a Megaphone Show at the best comedy theater in town and during Fantastic Fest (not to be confused with Fun Fun Fun Fest … we have a lot of fests) I was asked to be a judge at an Air Sex Championships show.

Of course, that was just an exhibition for the festival. The formal competition round for the next cycle of Air Sex Champions returned to Austin on Wednesday night at The Highball, and because I guess I did an okay job telling people they were good or bad at f**king invisible objects the first time, I was asked back as a judge. If you remember our exclusive coverage of the last time they were in town you’ll recognize a few returning competitors, but most importantly you’ll recognize me, sitting there at the table in the background secretly reverting back into 6-year old Super Christian Brandon and asking God to forgive me.

Big thanks to Lex Lybrand of Greenless Studios for these glorious action shots of the event. If you haven’t been to a live Air Sex show and it comes to your area (and it will … it tours nationwide), check it out. If not, I’ll bring a camera on stage with me next time and show you some horrible angles you’re missing from the crowd.

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As if it isn’t already hard enough being a college student, trying desperately to fit in among tens of thousands of peers while coping with the pressures of studying, self-esteem and just general survival away from our parents, it doesn’t help when Michael Fassbender shows up strutting his big ol’ dong around campus. But that’s apparently what happened on Saturday, as the gentleman we lovingly refer to as Michael F. Assbender at FilmDrunk and, much more importantly, Natalie Portman showed up at Darrell K Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium to film part of their “Untitled Terrence Malick Project”.

So what’s this sucker about that it was so worth causing a stir during the incredible 56-50 slugfest victory that the Texas Longhorns pulled out over the Baylor Bears?

Two intersecting love triangles. Obsession and betrayal set against the music scene in Austin, Texas.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *snores, farts, wakes up* Sounds awesome. But if you are a male Texas student who was threatened by Fassbender’s presence the gravitational pull of his Longhorn, just know that it could have been much worse. Ryan Gosling’s in this film, too. And I don’t think that UT has a flood evacuation plan.

Video and some fan shots after the jump. Oh, and maybe practice a little harder on defense this week, Baylor. Yeesh.

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That’s 14-year-old Blake Carter kicking a 63-yard field goal in practice. For added entertainment value, consult the YouTube comments section for this video, where not a single person can accept the clip at face value. He’s using a kicking tee! There are no markers on the field! His approach was wrong! The hang-time wasn’t accurate to NFL standards! Bleargh! (via Lost Lettermen)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

Here Are Some Great Rolling Stones Songs That You’re Probably Not Sick Of |UPROXX|

Gwyneth Paltrow, Cameron Diaz Rap About Chelsea Handler’s Sex Life, Embarrass Themselves |Warming Glow|

Hey Everyone, It’s Chloe Moretz As Carrie |Film Drunk|

New Cleveland Tourism Idea: Never Show This Browns Fan Piss Bucket Video To Anyone |With Leather|

The Best Cosplay From New York Comic-Con (Part One) |Gamma Squad|

Why We Should All Ignore Gucci Mane’s Plea For Attention |Smoking Section|

Brandon Weeden Wins Game, Still The Subject Of Ridicule |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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