Welcome to the new era of Dallas Stars hockey — the one where everything is super green, stars get rounded off and the “Dallas Starbucks” joke is way too easy.

Via SportsLogos.net:

Overnight the new logos for the Dallas Stars have been leaked courtesy the team’s official iPhone app.

According to our amazing and always accurate sources, SportsLogos.Net can confirm that the new logos, which appear in the screenshots, are 100% accurate and will be used by the team in the 2013-14 NHL season. The leak was spotted and tweeted to us by @DamnOldNylon

Here’s a look at the screengrab from the app, via Twitter.

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It wasn’t a great weekend for Texas sports. Aside from the horrible stuff that went down at the NRA 500, the generally serene-ish FC Dallas Stadium got violent when a player from … uh, FC Dallas scored a game-winning goal. Yeah, I don’t know.

George John scored the game-winner on a header, and before he could even get out of the net and celebrate, a fan tossed some garbage onto the field and sliced him in the back of the head.

John, 26, headed home the game’s only goal in the 87th minute, but he barely had time to celebrate. The bottle hit him as he took his first steps out of the Galaxy goal, and he fell straight to the ground.

“I knew something hit me,” John said. “I wasn’t quite sure what happened, if I ran into the post or what, but then I looked down and saw a beer bottle and I was like that had to of hit me. I felt [my head] and there was a ridge and then I was like ‘Yes, something hit me for sure.’ Luckily I didn’t need stitches and I was able to stay in and finish out the game.” (via NESN)

If you watch the video (included after the jump), it looks like a water bottle hits him in the chest and he flops, lying around holding his head while the time runs out. And then as the video progresses you see him get up with blood all over the back of his head. So … no.

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It’s very difficult to share a news story that starts with, “a man shot himself at the NRA 500,” and give it the proper gravity. A guy died, you know? That’s not funny.

At the same time, it’s so thematically notable that it makes sports bloggers feel like Oscar f**king Wilde, so we’ve got to talk about it. Here’s what happened at the Texas Motor Speedway on Saturday night:

Fort Worth police have said a man who was camping in the infield died of a “self-inflicted injury” after getting into an argument with other campers. The incident happened late in the Sprint Cup race.

Police spokeswoman Cpl. Tracey Knight has said alcohol may have been a factor. Knight said several people witnessed the incident, but nobody was in danger.

Track spokesman Mike Zizzo say the death occurred “in or around a pickup truck” in part of the infield near the middle of the backstretch. (via AP)

I’ve read this a few times now, and aside from the obvious stuff (“guy shoots self at gun race”), the “in or around a pickup truck” part is hanging me up. My guess is that the track spokesman didn’t want somebody assuming the guy killed himself in a stock car or whatever, but at the risk of being assumptive and stereotypical, doesn’t EVERYTHING at a NASCAR race happen in or around a pickup truck? I say this as a proud, adoptive resident of Texas. “I bought some cotton candy in or around a pickup truck,” etc.

Predictably, not everyone believes a guy could shoot himself at an event sponsored by gun enthusiasts. Some folks are saying the story has been fabricated by the Elitist Liberal Media — Piers Morgan has already lost his shit about the NRA 500 a few times, and he pretty much does his show in a t-shirt reading “Elite Liberal Media” — so let’s jump over to YouTube and see what’s reasonable.

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This week’s celebration of the world’s greatest month-long religious holiday, Spring Break, takes a step back from watching women embarrass themselves and focuses on the age-old tradition of bros being bros. For this classic moment, we travel all the way back in time to 2012, when two high school bros got a crash course in righteousness on a pier in beautiful Rockport, Texas.

Timmy “Porkchop” McElroy was no stranger to feeling left out. The backup right guard on the Alamo Heights football team, Timmy has long lived in his older brother’s shadow, as the state football trophies spilled over into his bedroom before he even knew how to wear a cup. Yep, life was good for Texas football star David “Cannon” McElroy III, as he was able to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted, and that included throwing insane high school Spring Break parties with his bros at the beach in Rockport.

Well, 2012 was going to be the year of the Porkchop, and he didn’t care what anyone said. Alamo’s starting RG punctured his urethra after accepting a challenge to jump over the barbed wire fence at Buck Farble’s cattle ranch, so Timmy was going to be starting for the first time in his life, and he was going to use that opportunity to show his parents – oil corporation attorney David McElroy II and Clarabell McElroy, a former three-time Miss Texas runner-up – that he could make them proud, too.

But first… a little celebration with the boys.

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I’ve bugged the readers of the Best and Worst of WWE Raw column about this a couple of times now, but “Brandon’s dreams are coming true” is big enough news to share on the main page proper, so here we are. We’re making a movie.

When I say we, I mean me (I wrote the thing, and it is surprisingly low on wrestling jokes) and Lex Lybrand. Lex was nice enough to put in me in a variety of host and duck-related roles in his first film, Summer League, and now he’s taking my words about blood, guts, sexual dysfunction and rural Oklahoma and is turning it into something pretty, and pretty scary. It’s called Meet Me There. It is heavy.

The other thing worth noting here is the ridiculous cast of talented people who have thrown in on the project. As you probably gathered from the header image, we cast Dustin Runnels, aka WWE’s Goldust, in a choice supporting role. Jill Thompson, a woman who has done everything from draw Wonder Woman and Swamp Thing comics to designing gear for the best pro wrestler in the world, is not only doing the art for our poster, she’s appearing in a role. Our lead actress, Lisa Friedrich, teaches comedy at a theater in Houston and is that combination of talented and gorgeous you kinda have to see in motion. Austin’s Megan Simon (who is amazing) is recording creepy hymns, and we’ll have everything from site friends The Wonder Years and Cleveland-area band Nights on the soundtrack. Yes, I am absolutely the least talented person involved in this.

To help promote the thing (and our fundraiser, which raised a quarter of our goal in its first week) we put together a little video explaining the film and why we want to make it, and you can check that out after the jump. If you’ve read about this in the column, this is totally new, so be sure to click through.

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Yesterday we shared with you a clip of a Texas high school senior bench-pressing 700 pounds. Today, it’s the story of Iram Leon, a former juvenile probation officer in Travis County, Texas, who has an inoperable, untreatable, cancerous brain tumor and won a marathon. Texas can be pretty cool, sometimes.

Leon’s story is amazing, and proof that you can always push harder, even when your body tells you to stop.

Two years after his brain-cancer diagnosis, he recently ran a sub-five-minute mile for the first time since high school. What has startled the medical community even more is what Leon did this month in Beaumont, Texas. He won the Gusher Marathon, finishing in 3:07:35. That was one second slower than his personal record in the 26.2-mile event, set days before he underwent brain surgery in early 2011. (via WSJ)

The most heartwarming/wrenching aspect of the run is that he spent the 26 miles pushing his 6-year-old daughter, Kiana, in a stroller, while she got free food from volunteers and listened to Disney songs. Here’s a clip of them running, and an explanation from Leon as to why he brought his daughter along for the race. Warning: your room is about to get mad dusty.

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