Jim Harbaugh has never seemed like a cruel monster, or even slightly mean, for that matter. But at yesterday’s San Francisco 49ers practice, he was the gosh-damned devil. Harbaugh decided that it would be fun for quarterback Alex Smith and the 49ers offense to re-create the classic touchdown pass from Joe Montana to Dwight Clark against the Dallas Cowboys in the 1982 NFC Championship Game. And that does sound fun for the guys, except for one small problem…

It’s Alex Smith.

And you don’t have to be Miss Cleo giving a lap dance to Nostradamus to guess how it turned out. But we’ll go ahead and play dumb and go through the steps first. For starters, the legendary “Catch” looked something like this…

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According to Roger Brulotte, the former French-language broadcaster for the Montreal Expos, an unidentified investment group has been pestering him for a few years about their desire to bring professional baseball back to Canada’s France. Brulotte previously thought it was just the wine talking, but he says that now these guys mean serious business and are determined to rape that black female cat with the white paint stripe convince Bud Selig to consider Montreal for expansion.

Through fancy numbers – presumably metric – Brulotte and others have pointed out that Montreal could handle it, especially if the city builds a new stadium and hires a GM that doesn’t trade every single good player that he will ever have.

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Hey guys, check it out, I just got a job writing for Cracked magazine. A guy named Bubba wants to get together a bunch of PGA golfers and form the first all-golfer boy band. Wait, this is real?

“I’ve got two words for you. Before I tell you those two words, I’m going to build it up,” Watson joked. “I should be in the media.”

Then, he gave the media just a little taste of what to expect.

“There’s going to be a group of guys, and the two words are Boy Band. I’m going to leave it at that. And it involves Ben, me and maybe a couple others. But Boy Band.”

Did Tiger Woods cheating on his wife break whatever mystical seal existed that was ket young white golfers from losing their minds and coming up with terrible ideas for things on the Internet? Ben Crane pulls a Brian Wilson and all of a sudden everybody is a wacky guy just tryin’ t’have fun.

Anyway, alternate titles for this blog post included “Drive the Ball ‘N Sync a Putt,” “I Didn’t Know They Had Golf Tournaments In O-Town,” “Bubba Watson Golfed a Plus One” or “Bubba Watson Should Take Five Strokes,” “Watson Slices Ball 98 Degrees” and “A New Edition of Golf Digest.” None of them should be typed, but the O-Town one is pretty funny. I tried to work “LFO” into an “LOL” or “LMAO” thing, but it didn’t work, just like LFO.

[via Sportress of Blogitude]

The Arizona Cardinals are coping with big changes this preseason, as former first round draft pick Matt Leinart is now the starting quarterback and young receivers like Steve Breaston and Early Doucet are stepping up since Anquan Boldin was traded to the Baltimore Ravens in the offseason. Meanwhile, Kurt Warner is dealing with life as a civilian now that his days as an off-and-on elite NFL QB are over. Yes, life’s much simpler now for the former Ram, Giant and Cardinal, as he’s left to ponder what he and his once-Gozerian wife Brenda will do with their twilight years.

Kurt’s first paying retirement gig has been as a broadcaster for the Iowa Barnstormers Arena Football franchise, as he was inducted into the AFL Hall of Fame in May. Warner also played for the Barnstormers before becoming a NFL feel-good story and Super Bowl MVP for the St. Louis Rams. And that feel-good story is now the center of so many possibilities for the Warner family, which includes his seven children. Or as Travis Henry calls it – amateur hour.

The next time someone asks if Kurt Warner’s a god, you say yes, Pro Football Talk:

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