If you’d stumbled upon an off-key parody song about Dwight Howard throwing the Orlando Magic under the bus set to Cee Lo Green’s 2010 hit ‘F**k Forget You,’ you’d probably say “wow, this is dumb,” followed by “this must be pretty old” and “some weird Internet guy made this.” But no, here is a Dwight Howard ‘Forget You’ parody song made with South Park technology released YESTERDAY by THE ORLANDO NEWSPAPER.

No, for real.

Dwight Howard’s ex-Orlando Magic teammates channel Cee-Lo Green to deliver a message for their departed Superman and the hated Los Angeles Lakers. Produced by Rich Pope, Sean Pitts and Todd Stewart. (via Orlando Sentinel)

I don’t even know what to say. As a sports blogger, my brain is set to “make fun of people who still make Harlem Shake videos” right now, and if I see a ‘Gangnam Style’ or ‘Call Me Maybe’ parody I get to deride whoever made it for being sloth dinosaurs. How do I even BEGIN to handle the Orlando Sentinel aping a hit so old that ‘Glee’ covered it TWO YEARS AGO?

Holy shit, Orlando Sentinel, get your shit together.

[h/t to Sportress]

The unranked Florida State seminoles defeated the top ranked Duke Blue Devils in Tallahassee last night, which is great, because I love it when bad things happen to teams that receive special treatment. And before you even start complaining about me jealous, I want you to look at the above screen shot from last night’s game. Chris Singleton, one of the Seminoles’ key players, picked up his fourth foul on a horrendous offensive foul call, for which Kyle Singler deserves an Oscar. Singler flails around, falling four yards back to somehow get the call, probably because Coach K works officiating crews like Charlie Sheen works booths at the AVN awards.

What’s more infuriating is how the media treats the Blue Devils. It’s no secret how much Dickie V loves Duke, but it’d be nice if Dick didn’t let his man crush on Coach K prevent him from being a competent announcer. In his words, Dickie V was Awful with a capital ‘A’, baby!

Video after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Considering that I had not the slightest idea the ABA still existed, this story came as a shock to me, and is certainly more interesting than hearing more Jim Harbaugh rumors. I’ve heard that Harbaugh’s 8 feet tall and owns a diamond mine in Sierra Leone. And now those are rumors, because you’ve heard them too.

Anywho, the Jacksonville Giants played the Georgia Gwizzlies (no, I’m not trying to phonetically write a hilarious speech impediment, that’s their actual name) in a game that was over at halftime, with he score 94-46 in favor of Jacksonville. This article’s halftime adjustments are courtesy of jacksonville.com.

The Georgia Gwizzlies got lost on the way to the Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena, delaying the start of Sunday night’s ABA game by one hour. Once they made it to the arena, the Gwizzlies seemed lost on the court as well.

The Giants dominated Georgia, 205-102, breaking their own record for points in a game set earlier this season. Jacksonville’s full-court press and fast-paced offense led to a 47-31 lead at the end of the first quarter.

The Giants kept the pressure on the Gwizzlies, and with every turnover, Jacksonville responded with a fast break and an easy basket. Jacksonville went on a 12-0 run midway through the second to open up a 68-33 lead, and by halftime led 94-46. –jacksonville.com

I don’t even think the Heat could score 205 points playing against my high school team. What kind of locker room adjustments do you make after giving up 94 points in the first half? “Play some damn defense, or you won’t get paid” would be the best bet, but I can’t imagine that the Georgia Gwizzlies get paid at all. I have no idea who their owner is, or if they even have an owner, but I know that sound financial investments like buying an ABA team are the key to getting our country’s economy back on track.