There are a lot of sports in the world, ranging from those that require top-shelf physical skill (marathon running, pro football against the New Orleans Saints) to sports you can sorta perform involuntarily (curling, the luge).

Apparently the “wide wide world of sports” isn’t wide enough for some people, as natives of the Malay-Thai Peninsula have combined soccer, tennis, volleyball and I’m pretty sure hacky sack to perfect the sport of sepak takraw. I’m sure some of you have seen it before and will be all, “way to be cultured, Brandon, snoot snoot”, but no, I’ve never seen this before and it feels like they should be wearing wooden helmets and performing in the background of The Lion King. I think the best part of the video is that it takes place on FASHION ISLAND.

From the Wikipedia entry for sepak takraw:

Similar games include footbag net, footvolley, football tennis, bossaball, jianzi and sipa. These similar games all involve keepie uppies.

Yeah, that clears it up. Thanks, Wikipedia. I would’ve called the keepie uppies “chazzwazzers”.

[h/t Fark Sports]

The cast for season 14 of ABC’s ‘Dancing with the Stars’ was unveiled this morning, and to answer the questions you may be having so far:

1. Celebrities and tangentially-related people from the world of sports are once again participating, following in the footsteps of former winners like Emmitt Smith, Hines Ward and Shawn Johnson, as well as former hilariously awful losers like Evander Holyfield, Kenny Mayne and Ron Artest.

2. No, I can’t believe ‘Dancing With The Stars’ has 14 seasons, either. It started in 2005, so you’d think it’d have what, maybe seven? But reality shows have seasons corresponding to literal seasons so we’re up to 14, and ‘Survivor’ is about to start season 470.

This year’s sports folk include:

Donald Driver - Green Bay Packers wide receiver and the football player whose name sounds the most like a wrestling finish. I’m calling at least one instance of him running and jumping into the crowd at the end of a dance.

Martina Navratilova - Tennis great and four-time Wimbledon champion. Unfortunately she’s probably gonna get the “WAIT A MINUTE, GAY PEOPLE EXIST? SHIELD THE EYES OF MY CHILDREN BLERGHHH” Chaz Bono dancing celebrity thing.

Maria Menounos - Super hot TV anchor and ‘Extra’ correspondent who consistently reps the New England Patriots and recently gained an increasing fame for losing a bet and being forced to wear a New York Giants bikini with no Giants logos on it that was also Patriots colors, but nobody noticed because holy sh*t her torso.

A brief recap of the remaining cast (including STEVE URKEL~) is after the jump.

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ESPN put up a piece this morning analyzing Rafael Nadal’s Australian Open semifinals win over Roger Federer, attributing Federer’s 6-7 (5), 6-2, 7-6 (5), 6-4 loss to everything from inability to consolidate break lead to being bored because the fireworks went on too long. It touches on everything short of “Brooklyn Decker was supposed to stick around and watch but didn’t, and both guys were sorta sad”.

What it doesn’t touch on is that the best moment of Federer/Nadal (“Federal”?) involved neither Federer nor Nadal … at least not directly. That goes to the unnamed ball boy and his amazing Cal-Ripken-Jr.-in-his-prime snag of an errant ball in the above video, courtesy of On The Go Tennis.

The best part is either the roar of the crowd (who are used to excitement, but “tennis excitement”, which is completely different) or the fact that when he makes the catch he goes right back into the ball boy squat with zero theatrics. That’s a kid who knows how to do his job with style.

Last Friday, I was farting around on the Internet when I decided to check out celebrity birthdays, and I was pretty shocked to learn that it was actor Rainn Wilson’s 46th birthday. I would have never pegged him for anything over 37 or 38. Then again, I forgot my own age just a few weeks ago, so I guess I’m not the best when it comes to guessing ages.

Then I stumbled across these images of former tennis player, “Biggest Loser” trainer and girl who had music video sex and real sex with Enrique Iglesias Anna Kournikova in the latest issue of the Russian magazine Tatler. I don’t know what kind of content Tatler publishes – it’s not related to the famous Tatler magazine in London – but from this feature on Kournikova, I am guessing it has something to do with retiree beachwear. Kournikova is only 30-years old – which is strange because I feel like I’ve been worshipping her for decades – but she’s looking a little… tired. And by tired, I mean in her 40s.

Hopefully, these images are just the product of a strange new Russian fad that takes incredibly attractive, leggy blondes and makes them look like they’re attending Kentucky Derby pool parties. If that’s the case, then well done, comrades.

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That guy gets it.

Things started off well for Andy Roddick at the Australian Open, as he won his first round match over the Netherlands’ Robin Haase 6-3, 6-4, 6-1. But then America’s most decent men’s tennis player and best guy who married up got a little greedy. Roddick was pulling double duty at the Open, teaming up with Serena Williams for today’s mixed doubles action, and the pressure was just too much for his already injured hamstring.

Yesterday, Roddick retired during the third set of his match against Lleyton Love Hewitt, and thus ends our time with Roddick’s wife, Brooklyn Decker. Blah blah blah, Roddick was upset or something.

“It’s frustrating; it’s discouraging,” Roddick said after the match. “You know, your sensible mind says to have a sense of perspective. You still have it pretty good.

“The competitor in you feels terrible and wants to break stuff.”

(Via the New York Times)

You want to break stuff? The only joy of my Monday mornings after a tennis tournament is looking for pictures of Decker. Now I got nothing, except for that banner pic and some random pictures of her modeling different weird hats earlier this week in Australia. Even worse, I was all set to use my favorite GIF come Monday…

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if you don’t understand why he’s doing this, then you don’t understand tennis.

That’s a comment from YouTube user thefinnman92, describing this video of Cyprian tennis player Marcos Baghdatis destroying four consecutive tennis racquets between sets to help him emotionally get through an impending round two Australian Open loss to Stanislas Wawrinka. The lesson here? I don’t understand tennis. Also, it sucks to lose anything to a guy named Stanislas.

Not that I don’t understand losing control of your good mind and Nard-dogging a hole in the wall, but those things are expensive. Maybe when you’re the 44th best player in the world they send them to you in the mail with samples of Tide. Regardless, as a longtime baseball fan my first thought when a pitcher wanders into the dugout and starts lobbing Gatorade coolers and whipping bats is to side-eye the hell out of him and cut him from my fantasy team before he breaks his hand.

Set analysis courtesy of Bill Hanstock at SB Nation:

Baghdatis went on to lose the match in four sets, 7-6, 6-4, 5-7, 6-1. I can only assume that the final set was 6-1 because Baghdatis was out of racquets and had to go bare-handed.

/cuts Baghdatis from tennis fantasy team