Serena Williams Lost Because Her Leg Decided To Cosplay The Nutty Professor

Written by Brandon Stroud / 01.24.13

Serena Williams upset

19-year-old tennis star Sloane Stephens became a Brent-Musburger-style overnight sensation when she upset Serena Williams at the Australian Open, gaining almost 40,000 Twitter followers in one night and earning congratulatory tweets from Shaq, Dirk Nowitzki, singer John Legend and more.

Serena’s response to the upset was pretty predictable — at one point she angrily broke her own racquet — but a quick look at Serena’s Twitter reveals why she might’ve been in a bad mood, and why she might’ve not been at 100% going into the match. I don’t want to overstate it, but it looks like her ankle ate the three-course meal chewing gum from Willy Wonka’s factory.

A pic of the swollen ankle is below. Warning: it may give you The Klumps flashbacks.

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My Psychic Told Me Caroline Wozniacki Have A Ass Like Serena

Written by Brandon Stroud / 12.10.12

Caroline Wozniacki Serena WilliamsI’ve done a few hours of research on this video, and I’ve decided you can watch it in one of three ways:

1. It’s underwear pitchstress Caroline Wozniacki imitating Serena Williams by putting a towel up his ass and down the front of her shirt, and it’s all in good fun, because tennis ladies are all pals.

2. It’s Caroline Wozniacki and Maria Sharapova laughing about how Serena Williams looks, which has a possibly-unintentional “two boney white ladies don’t like how the curvy black woman looks” vibe.

3. The Internet friendly “omg wish i wuz yer towel” response.

However you want to look at it (and I’m not advocating any response in particular) the truth of the video is that Wozniacki did not impersonate Serena’s best quality — winning tennis championships — and that the impression was closer to a Simona Halep thing anyway.

[h/t to Guyism]

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Gangnam Style Parodies Won’t Stop Happening

Written by Brandon Stroud / 10.10.12

Chris Petersen Gangnam Style

Gangnam Style. Woop. Woop, woop, woop.

Despite NFL On Fox killing dead whatever joy we’d have left listening to Psy’s international hit ‘Gangnam Style’ with Jimmy Johnson’s erotic butter-churner dancing, sports-themed Gangnam Style parodies are still hitting the Internet, and we are helpless to stop them.

Instead of devoting an individual post to every one of them (like we did with the Oregon Duck Gangnam Style, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Gangnam Style or the Golden State Warriors dancers Gangnam Style), I’m just throwing them all into one, easy-to-throw-into-the-sun combo post.

After the jump, you’ll find:

1. Manny Pacquiao dancing Gangnam Style.
2. Novak Djokovic dancing Gangnam Style.
3. The Columbus Blue Jackets dancing Gangnam Style.
4. Chris Petersen and Boise State in a South Park-style Gangnam Style video.
5. Your head on a spike, probably

May God have mercy on your soul.

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Bottoms Up: 30 Vintage Sports Beer Ads To Send You Into The Weekend

Written by Ashley Burns / 10.05.12

I’m a huge sucker for anything Americana, which is why I’ve often thought that I was born in the wrong era, but then I wouldn’t want to live in any decade that didn’t have the Internet or white rappers. That sh*t would be crazy boring, yo. But with the shameful soul of a hipster, I love to look at the past and admire how easy those schmucks had it, you know, aside from the wars and polio and stuff like that. At least people in the 50s only had newspapers, radio and one TV channel to scare the crap out of them. I shiver thinking about FOX News and MSNBC terrorizing us through the Cold War.

So what’s my point, you ask, well it’s that this morning I fell into one of my typical Internet wormholes thanks to the above image of an ad that Budweiser ran to celebrate Miguel Cabrera becoming the first Major League Baseball player to win the Triple Crown since 1967. Being an old soul, I still think that winning the Triple Crown is an amazing achievement, so I like to ignore the new breed of VORPers and WAR mongers when they say that Miggy shouldn’t win the MVP. But that’s another argument for another day.

I started perusing the webs for other vintage beer ads and I came to several conclusions: 1) Beer companies in the 40s and 50s wanted people to die, because they loved suggesting that people drink while doing things like skiing and riding horses; 2) Being an ad exec back then must have been 10-times cooler than Mad Men suggests; 3) White people, am I right?; and 4) I’m thirsty now.

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Caroline Wozniacki Sells Underwear By Being Caroline Wozniacki In Underwear

Written by Brandon Stroud / 09.19.12

Caroline Wozniacki underwear video

Back in June, Danish tennis fox Caroline Wozniacki announced that she was launching her own line of signature underwear, because sometimes people earn a lot of money and want to make a little more, so underwear, right? Anyway, after what I can only assume was rigorous testing (thanks for nothing, Rory McIlroy) the line is ready to go, and by way of the fine men and other men at Guyism comes this clip of Woz selling underpants the only way we know how: by wearing them and having an incredible body.

The “This Is Me” campaign slogan is a little misleading (unless Caroline’s average, self-defining day involves her standing in a shower in her underwear making angry faces while a half-a-dozen people take pictures of her), but I think you’ll manage to make it through the video without complaining. I love stupidly literal ad campaigns. Her next line should be “These Are My Underpants”, followed quickly by “This Is Me Wearing Shoes I Made”.

Full video is below. You’re welcome.

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Sports On TV: 30 Rock’s 20 Greatest Sports Moments

Written by Ashley Burns / 09.13.12

In a few months, I’m going to sink into depression. It won’t be because the Miami Dolphins will be 0 and whatever and it won’t have anything to do with the Orlando Magic embarking on a 4-win season. My misery will stem from 30 Rock airing its final episode and NBC turning its back on one of the greatest comedies in TV history in favor of low hanging fruit like Guys with Kids. But that’s what happens when only a few million people tune in. The Two and a Half Mens of this world win.

One of the many – many, many, many – reasons that I love 30 Rock and consider it in the same category as Seinfeld and Cheers is because of the writing and the lines that most people don’t even hear. With 30 Rock, there’s always a main joke, but beneath that first layer is another layer and another layer, which makes each episode as re-watchable as the next. And within those jokes and layers are some of the smartest and funniest sports jokes that have ever been written for a sitcom.

I actually started working on this before Brandon started this wonderful series, and I had about 60-something scenes and jokes picked out, but I narrowed it down to my favorite moments. Enjoy and reflect, because after this season we’ll have to hope that Tina Fey and Co. take their talents elsewhere.

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