Melanie Oudin, the American teenager that entered the US Open as a wild card [ /shapes hands like guns, does a little dance] was booted from her Times Square hotel yesterday. Oudin’s run to the quarterfinals has surprised everyone, including whoever handled her travel arrangements; she was only booked in the hotel for a week.

Her agent, BEST Tennis President John Tobias, through the company’s travel agent, Sport Travel, quickly got her into the Intercontinental. Tobias: “Obviously, we will not be sending any of our players back to that hotel.” The Marriott could not confirm Oudin was staying there, spokesperson Kathleen Duffy said. She said it was possible Oudin was staying there registered under a different name. via.

A different name? Well, she does look a lot like Anna Faris of the Scary Movie franchise, a string of films so terrible that no jury could convict anyone for denying them accommodations. It could have been worse. Melanie’s lucky that she doesn’t look like Jude Law, because…well, for a lot of reasons, really.

Here’s the telecast of Novak Djokovic after his quarterfinal win in the US Open doing an impression of John McEnroe, whose book is absolutely terrible. Don’t ever read it, even if you’re stuck in a Mexican hospital and it’s the only English-language book in front of you. They love McEnroe in Mexico. But anyway, Mad Mac himself comes down from the broadcast booth to hit around with Djokovic for a bit, and I’d love to see this happen in any other sport. How awesome would it be to see Terry Bradshaw tossing on the field with Hines Ward, only to get crushed in the ribs as Kyle Vanden Bosch buries him into the turf. Somebody needs to make this happen. I’m looking at you, FOX Sports.

I don’t know what it is about the US Open in tennis that I find so utterly unimpressive. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s a New York sports event that’s almost become a place for celebs to be seen that has me almost irritated–like a Lakers game for arrogant East Coasters. Or maybe it’s because they have it so close to football season. Whatever it is, if it had more uncoordinated ballboys like this, I would be totally into it. Maybe the Open can work out a deal with the Special Olympians, if you could ever get them to stop eating the net. Thanks, Garett.

Here’s Andy Roddick “playing” against Dave Letterman on a taped segment of “Late Show with that one guy,” so that’s why you’re still seeing daylight in the clip, you smartass. Being able to pop a serve down Broadway at 103 miles per hour is pretty impressive. Not quite as impressive as nailing Brooklyn Decker whenever you want, but impressive nonetheless. via.

Tennis phenoms Venus and Serena Williams are looking to purchase a share of the Miami Dolphins from new owner Stephen Ross, joining other celebs such as Gloria Estefan, Marc Anthony and that one chica that used to date Ben Affleck.

“We don’t know what’s going on,” Williams said after her second-round match at the Rogers Cup Wednesday night in Toronto. “There’s been preliminary talks and, hopefully, it will work out. I mean, that would be a great opportunity for both of us. We’ll see what happens.”

Reports from the United States suggested an announcement would be made on Tuesday. The sisters live about an hour from where the Dolphins play. via.

Is there anyone reading this right now that DOESN’T own a share of the Miami Dolphins? Anyone? I think Ufford picked up his share last week. This is turning out to be the People’s Football Team. They should change their colors to red and gold and adopt the hammer-and-sickle as their logo. That’s a communism joke. Nothing dries up readership or women’s panties like economics talk.

It’s hard to be irritated with Andy Roddick now, especially after his effort in the final at Wimbledon where he nearly beat Roger Federer. But depending on who you ask, Roddick should have beaten the 15-time major tournament winner. At the very least, it would have made for a better ad.

One of Roddick’s sponsors (you can see it on the ad; I won’t mention them in the text because of my endorsement deal with adidas) curiously bought a full-page ad on the back of the New York Times sport section to congratulate Crocodile Andy and thank him “for his performance at Wimbledon.” No, they really called him Crocodile Andy. And they thanked him. Thanked him for losing! Oooh, burn!

I thought it was almost sad that Roddick apologized to Pete Sampras after allowing Federer to break Sampras’ career majors record through him. I’m inclined to think that not his job to defend the nation’s tennis legacy. But when ESPN and his sponsors try to sell him as an ambassador of the game, maybe it should be. And this is a rather poor effort in accomplishing that end.

|via Darren Rovell|