It's a great day in sports for disease and death.  ESPN has an exclusive interview with Tennessee shooting guard Chris Lofton in which the Volunteers' marksman reveals his private battle with testicular cancer.  Since a random drug test a year ago turned up positive — high levels of beta hCG can indicate either steroid use or cancer — Lofton kept his disease secret from his teammates and extended family.  Only now has he come forward to talk about the illness that has left him riddled with tired cliches:

"You're going to get knocked down. It's whether you stay down or whether you get back up and fight that counts."

In slightly less grave disease news, Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler has been diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.  He will need daily insulin injections, but is expected to be able to continue disappointing Broncos fans.

And to cap things off on a more cheerful note, an obituary: former Dodgers executive Buzzie Bavasi died at 93.  Doctors believe the cause of death was being extremely old.

If I'd known Tennessee coach Bruce Pearl had a history of cross-dressing and feeling up women 20+ years younger than him, I might have thought twice about picking the Vols to go to the Final Four.  Don't get me wrong — these things will only make me cheer for Tennessee more, but I no longer like their odds.  Champions are made from shut-in fanatics who do nothing but think about basketball.  Bruce Pearl, man, he just wants a piece of that ass.  And I respect that.

The b&w photos are from his high school yearbook in the 1970s, which makes his turn in a dress so surprising.  I mean, what prominent men in the '70s were willing to risk a less than masculine image in the public eye?  Besides the entire music industry.  

All of these photos, by the way, come courtesy of the very cool Nik Richie at The Dirty.  He's like Perez Hilton, except not a lazy insufferable self-involved gay douchebag.  So really, nothing like Perez at all. 

I've never really considered myself to actually hate the University of Tennessee, and yet I find it hard to disagree with just anything this sharp young Alabama fan says.  I also don't like Philip Fulmer.  I also hate that color orange.  And seriously: they some snitches.

[EDSBS; Deadspin] 

This video made the rounds this weekend while I was busy fine-tuning my Oscar ballot (The Bourne Utimatum for sound editing AND sound mixing!  HOLLA!), and it's a pretty good one.  Going into halftime of Saturday night's #1 versus #2 showdown between Memphis and Tennessee, ESPN sideline reporter/sports nerd fantasy Erin Andrews asked Vols coach/sweatiest man alive Bruce Pearl how Memphis was containing Chris Lofton.  Pearl answered with a demonstration.  Apparently the Tigers were grabbing Lofton's ass with both hands and rubbing their erect penises on his leg.  Weird defense, but it sounds effective.

Hey, did you notice that 8 of the Top 25 ranked college basketball teams lost yesterday? If I knew it, I had forgotten. Or perhaps I was living in denial until I just received a pleasant telephone call from my bookie. Not only did #1 Memphis lose to #2 Tennessee in a thrilling game last night, but several other disasters to my personal economy occurred:

• #17 Washington St. 55, Arizona 65 – I'd enjoy being seduced by a cougar, but I guess I'd rather have sex with a wildcat.
• Kent State 65, #23 St. Mary's 57 – I assume the Catholics felt guilty for that fracas at KSU in 1970. We feel guilty for everything.
• #24 Kansas St. 86, Baylor 92 – Unmurdered ballers play much better. What? Too soon?
• Nebraska 65, #22 Texas A&M 59 – No, I didn't bet on the Aggies. Do I look that stupid? Don't answer that.
• Villanova 67, #13 UConn 65 – Too bad, had I woken up for Mass this morning I would have donated some money to the Augustinians.
• #16 Drake 71, #8 Butler 64 – Michael Vick would have liked this game.
• #4 Kansas 60, Oklahoma St. 61 – Memo to Bill Self: You owe me a knee cap sir.    

The Tennessee Volunteers football program is getting back on track in a big way. In the span of four weeks, No fewer than five Vols have racked up some sort of legal trouble.

Freshman receivers Gerald Jones and Ahmad Paige were cited for possession of marijuana, a misdemeanor…A week later, freshman running back Daryl Vereen was arrested and charged with public intoxication. Last weekend, junior offensive lineman Anthony Parker was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.

The funny thing about it all (funny weird, not funny ha-ha) is that walk-on defensive back Vince Faison is the first to get suspended. Faison got himself a DUI this past weekend. The 26-year-old had spent the last eight years playing minor league baseball, most recently at Double-A Midland. Faison will be forced to sit the first two games as a punishment, which is only fair. If you can't learn how to drive drunk after eight years of pro ball, you don't deserve the privilege as an amateur. I'm pretty sure that's in the Bible somewhere. 

- Monday Morning Punter

[Sunday Morning Quarterback via The Tennessean]