‘Bill Dance Outdoors’ brings together some of my favorite things: fishing bloopers, guys using almost-curse words and dogs magically appearing from off-screen like rocket ships. Bill Dance bloopers are the greatest. Fishing should be this easy for everybody.

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All The GIFs You’ll Ever Need Of Megan’s Mom Channeling Her Inner Lucille Bluth In Sunday’s ‘Mad Men’ |UPROXX|

The 5 Television Man Crushes Every Straight Man Should Have |Warming Glow|

Robert Downey Jr. is a real-life superhero |Film Drunk|

How Not To Comment On A Skydiver’s Death |With Leather|

10 Reasons To Hate The Terrible ‘Iron Man 3′ |Gamma Squad|

12 Legendary Moments In Rap History |Smoking Section|

Local Smoke Shop Welcomes Tyrann Mathieu To Phoenix |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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My friends and I were joking this weekend, as I struggled through watching the UCF Knights blow their game against the Missouri Tigers and the Miami Dolphins really blow their game against the Arizona Cardinals, that I could just do these Faces of ‘Freude (new name, this one’s sticking) posts with pictures of me screaming at bar TVs for three hours every Saturday and Sunday. And yeah, once the Orlando Magic season starts, I may be able to power the entire planet with just my rage. But I’m not sure the world is ready for so many pictures of how handsome I am.

Thankfully, we have Derek Dooley and his derpy dome to fill the void. On the surface, a 3-2 record shouldn’t have a team’s fans searching for the world’s tallest bridge, but Dooley’s Tennessee Volunteers dropped to 0-2 in the SEC after yesterday’s exciting 51-44 loss to the Georgia Bulldogs. I like Dooley and I don’t have any problems with the Vols, so I think it’s encouraging that they’re putting up such a good fight. Hopefully they’ll start winning more so fans can finish washing away the Lane Kiffin stink.

But in the meantime, keep baking those frownies, college football fans.

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This horrifying, screaming fat guy in orange face paint singing on YouTube because he lost a college football bet thanks God because he doesn’t own the rights to Cyndi Lauper’s ‘Girls Just Want To Have Fun’. Vols fans always pay their bets! THANKS VOOOOLLLLSSS. (via Speleb)

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5 Things Ashton Kutcher Would Probably Rather Do Than Make Out With Mila Kunis |UPROXX|

Here’s The Actor Not Named Bill Murray Who Will Be Playing Jeff Winger’s Dad On ‘Community’ |Warming Glow|

Classic Armond White: Praising Resident Evil by bashing Scorsese, The Master |Film Drunk|

Slayer Sports News: Slayer Reacts To Slayer Being Mentioned On Sports |With Leather|

Two Chris Hemsworths? We’re Seeing Double In ‘Thor: The Dark World’ Set Pictures |Gamma Squad|

QoTD: Do You Take An Electronic Device To The Bathroom? |Smoking Section|

A Very Jay Cutler Encounter With Jay Cutler |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Saturday’s college football action presumably left very few people wanting more, because I can’t remember a day that was filled with so many exciting games and delightful upsets. For starters, I assume that everyone was on the edge of their seats for the incredible UCF win over FIU, because I was at that game, which immediately made it the most star-studded game in college football history. And I yelled things at Mario Cristobal, because he’s a moron who should have taken the Rutgers job and I guarantee you that he’s kicking himself every morning over his decision to turn that job down because he was allegedly insulted at the Scarlet Knights’ lowball offer. But I digress.

My favorite game of the day was the Florida Gators 37-20 victory over the Tennessee Volunteers, which leads us to this new feature – “Faces of Misery”. Now, before the hate mail and mean comments start pouring in, please know that I have nothing against Tennessee. Well, that’s not entirely true. I do hold a grudge against the Volunteers because they gave Lane Kiffin money to be a head coach, even though he has never done anything to deserve it, unless you count being conceived by a great NFL defensive coordinator. I hate Kiffin a lot, so this is worth noting. In fact, if USC had lost at home, we’d be having a completely different kind of conversation right now.

But I say this was my favorite game, because it provided us with a ton of great Faces of Misery, and as a fan of a perpetually underachieving college football team, I’ve made plenty of miserable faces myself. I also don’t like basking in a Gators victory, but it’s a jorts world and I’m just living in it. So enjoy the misery of Tennessee fans this week, and feel free to suggest upcoming games that you’d like to see us make fun of, because I plan on doing this as much as possible, because laughing at other people’s misfortunes is what makes America so great.

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While interacting with his fans at the NFL Xperience in Dallas, Desmond Howard was confronted by an irate Phil Simms, who has been holding an apparent grudge against Howard since he called Phil’s son, Matt Simms, one of the three worst quarterbacks in the SEC. Howard is a college football analyst, so it’s his job to give insight and opinions, but Phil doesn’t seem to understand that. So he instead resorted to physically threatening Howard, which required police involvement.

Matt, of course, plays for the Tennessee Volunteers and he threw for 1,460 yards and 8 touchdowns during the 2010 season, so he wasn’t anything to brag about. But I will avoid making any further remarks, since I don’t want Phil threatening me. I’ve already been yelled at by Boomer Esiason’s daughter, Sydney, for calling him an idiot, so I don’t want another former NFL QB getting mad at me just because his son sucks.

The Second Harvest Food Bank in Kingston, Tennessee has withdrawn from a fundraiser that is being sponsored by Frontier Firearms because the nonprofit’s leadership believes the theme is in poor taste. That theme? Shooting at Lane and Monte Kiffin bobbleheads. In the wake of the tragedy in Arizona, the Food Bank has backed out due to complaints from area residents, marking the second time in 17 years that the organization has refused a fundraiser, said Executive Director Elaine Streno.

Frontier is still moving forward with the event, charging $5 per bobblehead and the company will give the money to basically any charity that wants it. And as the ED of Burnsy’s Home for Wayward Hot Sorority Girls, I will gladly accept the money for my new Pudding Wrestling Scholarship.

Hold a grudge over a sh*tty coach for me, USA Today:

Frontier Firearms president Brant Williams says he has perhaps 800 bobbleheads of Lane and his father, USC defensive coordinator Monte, and the event will go on regardless of anyone cringing because it comes on the heels of the Arizona shootings.

Williams points out that YouTube is littered with comic explosions of celebrity bobbleheads and said by phone from his Kingston store that, “Nobody is going to leave our range after shooting a Lane Kiffin boobblehead [sic] with a desire to go shoot Lane Kiffin.”

I love that they spelled it “boobblehead” because the word boob makes me giggle endlessly. Williams added that this is just typical sports behavior and that fans have the ability to check their hatred at the door. In related news, people in Tennessee need to move on already.

Local news report about the fundraiser after the jump…

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