After news broke that Syracuse and Pitt were leaving the Big East for the greener pastures of the ACC, it seemed like the Big East might need to make some big moves to remain relevant and especially maintain its BCS status. After all, the addition of TCU made it seem like there was nothing to worry about. Then TCU announced that it was not even going to bother with the Big East and join the Big 12 instead and Big East commissioner John Marinatto was seen feverishly Googling “seppuku.”

The departure of Pitt and Syracuse leaves the league with just 6 teams, so the Big East is now finally recognizing an urgency to add 6 schools and become a 12-team conference. Hold on to your zany foam hats, because they are doozies – UCF, ECU, Temple, Navy, Air Force, and maybe Boise State. And that’s assuming that none of the Big East’s other schools leave.

The issue lingering over the league’s future involves Missouri. If Missouri leaves the Big 12 for the Southeastern Conference, that would put Big East football in peril. The Big 12 would probably grab West Virginia or Louisville, or both, to replace Missouri. The Big 12 could also take one or both if Missouri stays. Big East officials say they will not wait for Missouri to decide, but no definitive timetable is in place.

(Via The New York Times)

With all of the other big news and rumors that have been circling the Big 12, SEC, ACC, Big 10 and PAC-However-Many-Schools-They-Have-Now, the Big East has been easy to ignore. But here’s a quick recap – nobody wants to join the Big East except for schools the other schools don’t want. For instance, USF has been trying hard to keep UCF out. Does anyone care about that? No. Hell, UCF is my alma mater and I don’t even care about it.

Ultimately, the Big East is going to lose West Virginia and probably Rutgers. If Louisville can get its act together and start winning again, it will probably leave as well. Best case scenario – and probably only case scenario – the Big East ransacks Conference USA and locates photos of NCAA President Mark Emmert in bed with a transgender donkey. That’s about the only thing that will save it.

UPDATE: My buddy Brandon Helwig at UCFSports.com Tweeted earlier that a rumored scenario is an East Division with UCF, USF, UConn, Rutgers, Temple and Navy, while a West Division would be WVU, Cincinnati, SMU, Louisville, Houston and Air Force.

Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez has special plans for tomorrow’s turkey day — he plans to act like one. So sayeth the always-reliable and never-inflammatory comments from the ex-wife, who couldn’t jump in front of a tape recorder fast enough to trash a guy that none of us really like anyway.

“My soul-less, soon-to-be ex-husband is abandoning his kids on Thanksgiving to be with Madonna.” Cynthia went on to describe the singer in “not so nice terms.” A-Rod will host dinner at his Manhattan apartment for Madonna, her children, and her manager.

“Alex likes a woman with a strong hand,” said one insider of Rodriguez’s decision to return to New York to be at Madonna’s beck and call. “He likes to be told what to do. He’s a bit of a cipher.”

“Cipher” must be New Yorker slang for “tranny-loving third baseman.” My guess is that Alex burns the turkey, and then has to count on Jeter putting together a casserole at the last minute. I feel bad for A-Rod’s kids, though. One of them will get promoted from the kids’ table, and we all know that’s where the action is. And by “action,” I mean “not having sex with Madonna.” Grown-ups suck.

[Newser, via NY Post]

I understand that Bill Cosby is a legend and all, but… ummm… this intro to last night’s Temple-Ohio game makes me think that he’s a little bit, oh, what’s the word?  INSANE.  Completely off-his-rocker Alzheimer dementia insane.

To be fair, though, this is better than Ohio’s most famous graduate showing off his skills.  I don’t ever want to see Peter King deep-throating a 12-inch cucumber.

[Awful Announcing]

Divorce isn't really that funny. When two people love each other and try to build a life together, and that life goes up in smoldering flames, it's no laughing matter. And when the fire trucks show up and cordon off the entire block and they're all holding that trampoline-looking thing yelling to the people stranded above to jump, that's…actually pretty funny. Anyway, Red Sox principal owner John Henry is putting the finishing touches on his divorce–just in time for the pennant race!

From PalmBeachPost.com (via Ben Maller):

Few details have leaked so far, including whether Henry’s baseball team will be affected. The bookish Boca Raton-based commodities trader bought the team for $690 million in 2002 — nearly 10 years after marrying Peggy Sue in Hawaii.

But at least one startling fact has emerged from the July 29 filings, the newest in 10 months: The Henrys asked Circuit Court Judge Amy Smith to appoint a guardian ad litem to watch over the financial interests of their only child, an 11-year-old girl.

That is, they're giving the kid her own lawyer to determine how much the child support should be. And it's a damn shame they already traded away Manny Ramirez. As terrible as he can be in the outfield sometimes, I'm sure family law would come quite naturally to him.