The U.S. national basketball team’s U16 finalists — meaning they’re freshman, meaning they’re 16-years old or younger — messed around in an impromptu dunk contest, and holy crap. The dunks are amazing, but what’s even better are their names: Malik Monk, Terrance Ferguson, Josh Jackson (‘sup, Pacey) and Seventh Woods. SEVENTH WOODS. He can dunk better than you AND he sounds like a stage in Super Mario Bros. Outstanding.

Check this out (h/t to Prep Rally), then check out the links below.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
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Links

George Clooney’s ‘Ball Ironing’ Is The New Craze That Is Taking Over Hollywood |UPROXX|

HBO Greenlit ‘Game Of Thrones’ For The Dumbest Of Reasons |Warming Glow|

Norm MacDonald: ‘Liberace was not gay’ |Film Drunk|

Kill It With Fire: A Virginia Man Set The World Record For Catching A ‘Frankenfish’ |With Leather|

Microsoft’s E3 Press Conference: All The Details |Gamma Squad|

NBA Players Read “Mean Tweets” About Themselves On The Jimmy Kimmel Show |Smoking Section|

Go Read Fred Smoot’s Reddit AMA Right Now |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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This is supposed to be a picture of a 40-person girls softball brawl. Sorry, I know it kinda looks like an impressionist painting.

An Alabama girls’ softball game between “Texas Street” and “Hillsdale” turned into an EVERYBODY HURT EVERYBODY ELSE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE affair when a call at third base made … somebody unhappy, and shit got real. What you’re about to watch (after the jump) is a field full of 14 and 15 year old girls going at it. What you DON’T see, somewhat sadly, is the lyrically named parent Xylinda Pendleton biting another parent on the stomach and getting arrested for assault. I had a problem with a neighbor kid biting me on the stomach once. When I was four.

The wacky news report is below.

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Here’s Lithuania’s Danielius Nomanovas taking a slapshot against Great Britain in Wednesday’s round robin portion of the Under-18 World Championship. The only problem is that … uh, he wasn’t actually slap-shooting anything, threw his stick at the referee and totally brained him. Walk it off, referee! (via TBL)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

Meme Watch: ‘Attractive Convict’ Will Drive Away…With Your Heart |UPROXX|

Louis C.K. And Big Daddy Drew Magary On Howard Stern’s Show |Warming Glow|

From Homoerotic Softcore To Kids’ Movies, the Strange Filmography of David DeCoteau |Film Drunk|

Suddenly, I Need To Renew My FHM Subscription |With Leather|

Oh God, Hopefully Nobody In Hollywood Sees This Fan-Made Gritty Take On ‘Calvin And Hobbes’ |Gamma Squad|

Where The Hell Is… Craig Mack? |Smoking Section|

Presenting A Hilariously Sad Defense Of Tony Romo |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Yesterday, we pondered aloud whether or not Los Angeles high school student Jake Davidson deserved to be taken seriously with his creative prom invitation to our beloved Kate Upton, and it appears that we came through for Jake, because she has responded to him.

The two-time Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover model Tweeted at Jake last night, telling him to call her Katie, which is just complete BS because we just try and try and try and try and all we get is “Please refer to her as the plaintiff”. So is she going to make Jake the coolest wealthy teenager among all of his wealthy classmates?

The answer is an incredible, resounding – probably not. UPDATE: Jesus, either Kate is incredibly sweet or she’s going to go through with this.

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That's actually how I picture Dax Sheppard any time I hear his name.

The Teen Choice Awards took place last night in the fourth level of hell Los Angeles, and once again the big winners were the PR and marketing teams of Hollywood film and TV studios that busted their asses the hardest to make sure that people teenagers have never heard of inexplicably won awards. For instance, Zoe Saldana won Choice Movie Actress: Action for Colombiana, a film that .000000001% of teenagers actually saw. However, she won because she showed up, unlike Jennifer Lawrence, who would have won, because every teenage girl on Earth would have voted for her for The Hunger Games.

But that’s a different story for a different site. Instead, let’s pay tribute to those trendy teens and their sports heroes, as they once again voted to select the most relevant athletes of the day. The 2012 Teen Choice Award for Choice Male Athlete is David Beckham, while Choice Female Athlete is Serena Williams. Well, I am absolutely OUTRAG… actually, that’s not terrible. Beckham just re-upped with the reigning MLS Champions (I’d still have expected LeBron James to win), while Williams won both the singles and doubles titles at Wimbledon. So if teens indeed voted for them, I’m relieved. Of course, neither Beckham nor Williams showed up and Shaun White was the only actual athlete in attendance, but I guess it’s progress.

Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for the future of this planet and our youth as a whole. Join me for a mini-rant after the jump, will you?

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This is a picture of Washington Nationals rookie Bryce Harper with UFC ring girl/Playboy playmate Brittany Palmer.

Compare and contrast that to the following video by YouTube’s Mallory Moreno entitled, ‘If Bryce Harper Was My Boyfriend’, a Justin Bieber parody song about how awesome of a girlfriend she’d be filmed longways on a Flip with about five minutes notice. Sample lyrics:

I got stats in my hands that i’d really like to show
show show to you
chillin at the ballpark while the sky’s blue
you don’t know about me but i know about you
so say hello to the bigggest fan of three four, swag

Long story short, this is the difference between Girls Who Like Bryce Harper, and Girls Bryce Harper likes:

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