In fact, this video might be the most Nick Diaz thing ever. He’s just standin’ around, hitting a whiffle ball with nun chucks, listening to Stone Temple Pilots and prominently displaying a bowl on his kitchen counter, because of course that was included on purpose. Video is below. Warning: you may want to go to Spencer’s Gifts after watching.
And now, Impact Wrestling presents 'Man Getting Hit By Trophy'
Hello again, my darlingest Ham Sandwiches! I hope you all had a wonderful New Year’s Eve. I personally spent it loudly replacing Auld Lang Syne with Boys on the Docks, and watching a very large bearded man wrestle a smaller, skinny punk kid in the snow. It was like watching Jebediah Park vs. Jeff Hardy in the match no one asked for. In other news…
• I will be attending SMASH Wrestling’s event Any Given Sunday on … Sunday. If any of you cool cats in the GTA want to come see Johnny Gargano, 3.0, Gregory Iron, and what commenters look like in person, you should head on out! I make no promises as to whether or not I will be dressed like Bully Ray, doing bad Al Pacino impressions, or telling everyone to throw their money at Gargano’s merch.
• Gifs this week have been provided by the lovely Casey/THESTINGER. He is the best person, and I am consistently jealous of his boogie.
• As always, I can be found on twitter here, With Leather keeps it tight here, and UPROXX operates their twitter machine here. By all means, like us on Facebook, and share us on the sharing stuffs, especially Reddit. Stop by, say hello, and tell us what you like or dislike about what we’re doing. I have it on good authority that the person who operates my twitter account likes hearing what you think, and is also really into Johnny Gargano.
This week on Impact: Christopher Daniels makes me think deep thoughts, D.O.C. jobs to a chain lock, and TNA makes me stretch my creative writing muscles to the point of a near hernia.
What’s the fastest (and slowest) famous movie/TV vehicle? We gathered 16 Star Cars at Barona Dragstrip in California to find out and burn rubber! Vehicles raced include KITT, the General Lee, Time Machine DeLorean, Transformers Bumblebee, Starksy’s Gran Torino, Herbie, the Bandit’s Trans Am, the Scooby Doo Mystery Machine, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Van, the Bluesmobile, Green Hornet’s Black Beauty, and a few surprises in our season one finale.
If you’re like me, you’re going to watch Star Cars race a bunch of TV and movie-accurate cars against each other and run fantasy match-ups in your head all day long. Who would win in a race, Grandpa Munster’s DRAG-U-LA or The Man from U.N.C.L.E. car? The Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club or Hank and Dean Venture on hover bikes? Brum, or Caillou in rollerskates?
For all the pop culture races that matter, the season finale of Star Cars is below.
Photo credit to the amazing Zia Hiltey. the best and coolest person taking pictures of wrestling in the world. Visit her website and like her on Facebook. It’s a decision you won’t regret.
The Internet’s greatest sports entertainment podcast that is mostly about cartoons and bullsh*t returns this week with very special guest Icarus, 1/3 of pro wrestling’s most dangerous trio and (nearly) 10-year veteran of CHIKARA.
On the show we discuss CHIKARA’s upcoming ‘Aniversario’ events (including his opinion on imposter ants the Gekido and tagging with his fellow Wrestle Factory first termers), his ladder match with former tag team partner Gran Akuma at the ‘Chikarasaurus Rex: How To Hatch A Dinosaur’ iPPV, who he thought was the best character on ‘Avatar: The Last Airbender’ and whether or not a three-year old could fully appreciate that awesome rooftop rain fight between Raphael and Leonardo in TMNT. What are you waiting for? This is sh*t you need to know, especially if you have no idea what CHIKARA is.
UPROXX Live Q&A With ‘Archer’s’ Amber Nash And Lucky Yates, AKA The Voices Of Pam Poovey And Doctor Krieger - “Is Lucky your real name, or do people call you that because of the time you slipped in pee-pee and got a structured cash settlement?” [UPROXX]
Here’s The Mitt Romney/Eminem Mashup You’ve All Been Waiting For - On the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down. [UPROXX]
5 Artists You Missed At SXSW While Waiting In Line To See Rick Ross - Rick Ross should’ve performed all four seconds of his verse from ‘Monster’, threw up his hands, yelled “THANK YOU AUSTIN” and disappeared. [Smoking Section]
Michael Bay And Michaelangelo Respond To The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Kerfuffle - “Relax, friends, I’m working with a guy in a TMNT shit from Hot Topic and he and I think aliens are awesome, so shut up. The first draft of our script is just the words ‘green explosion’ written on 150 sheets of paper.” [Gamma Squad]
Cousin Oliver from the Brady Bunch would like to report a Ninja Turtle sodomy - Meanwhile, ’3J’ from ‘Family Matters’ would like to report that he is extremely hungry. [Film Drunk]
5 Bleak British Television Series That Will Kick In Your Pretty American Teeth - ‘Fawlty Towers’ should be on here, that sh*t was bleak. Poor Basil Fawlty can’t get one second of peace in his entire life. [Warming Glow]
The Cast Of “American Pie”: Then & Now - This is just an excuse to juxtapose Tara Reid photos, isn’t it? Also, Shannon Elizabeth needs to start aging somewhere other than the neck. [Buzzfeed]
Kimmel Unveils Rick Santorum-Approved Pornography - Not looking forward to this guy being President and me having to masturbate with a handful of gravel. [HuffPost Comedy]
Modern-Day Icarus - Not interested in seeing this guy’s contraption again unless he’s plummeting down a cliffside during a mission in Red Dead Redemption. [High Definite]
10 Skateboarding Sneakers For People Who Can’t Stand Skateboarders - My awesome David Otunga-style argyle Vans better be on here somewhere. [Brobible]
16 Celebrities With Mustache Eyebrows - The Internet, ladies and gentlemen. [The FW]
Matches We Loved 2011: Part 1 - I’m not technically in this part (I should show up in part 2), but it’s got enough positive pro graps talk and people bleeding to death in Austin to make it feel like I am. Check this out, seriously. [Dirty Dirty Sheets]
Wear The Cheese: Hot Tag Podcast - A podcast with a 30-minute time limit that goes about 45 because I can’t shut up about disliking Pescetarians. Lots of fun. [Wear The Cheese]
The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 42: Brandon Stroud III - And, in case you missed it, my appearance on last week’s The Wrestling Podcast. This is mostly about Avatar: The Last Airbender, honestly. [The Wrestling Blog]
The Washed Ferrari Scale: Rating Michael Bay’s Leading Ladies - I thought about firing Burnsy outright for saying Kate Beckinsale is hotter than Scarlett Johansson. [Film Drunk]
Can’t Be Faded: 40 Forgotten Nate Dogg Features - He laid all them busters down. He let his gat explode. Now he’s switching his mind back into freak mode. [Smoking Section]
The 20 Best Cold Opens from ‘The Office’ - There isn’t a character on television I’d like to see brutally beaten in his home than Jim Halpert. [Warming Glow]
Darren Aronofsky’s Ideas for a Batman Movie Were…Interesting - Well, it still sounds better than having Spider-Man have “puberty” by blowing his organic webshooters between the sheets in the morning. [Gamma Squad]
Make Every Tweet Count, You Guys. It Could Be Your Last. - “Dance like nobody’s watching. Love like it’s never gonna hurt!” – Heath Ledger [UPROXX]
Christina Hendricks Dressed In Leather, Posing With Weapons - Hey look, a post about tits and leather. Now we’re the website everybody thinks we are when I tell them I’m a blogger at “With Leather”. [Buzzfeed]
Adult Swim’s 25 Worst Places to Die - Gloucester City, New Jersey. It’s also on the 25 worst places to live or do anything else. [Adult Swim]
7 Comedians Without Their Beards - Tell me Bradley Cooper is in here. [HuffPost Comedy]
Stop-Motion TMNT Intro - They’re heroes in a half-shell, and they’re green? WELL HOLD ON A MINUTE. [High Definite]