Sports

The Most Unfair Characters in Video Game History - Bo Jackson from Tecmo Bowl, the Miami Heat from NBA 2K11 and Michael Vick from every football game for like four years are included on this list, right alongside Dr. Wily. If we’re throwing in people from sports games, I’d like to nominate the entire roster of the American Dreams from Baseball Stars. [Smoking Section]

Behind Every Man: A Retrospective on Derek Jeter’s 3,000 Hits, Women - The most important aspect of Derek Jeter getting to 3,000 hits is that he has slept with (or at least Troy McClure-dated) nearly every attractive woman in Hollywood. I’d invite Jeter to my birthday party, but I’d be afraid he’d show up with Hayley from Paramore or whoever and just make out with her in front of me. I hate you, Derek Jeter >.< [With Leather]

Best and Worst of Raw 7/11: The Defining Moment of Our Generation - Actual important and cool things are happening on pro wrestling, so if you are one of those types who cheered for Stone Cold Steve Austin with your friends and haven’t given a sh:t since, jump in here and read all about it. Or, you know, don’t support the good stuff and we’ll have 10 more years of meandering crap. [With Leather]

On This Day in MMA History: July 12 - If you don’t like wrestling, you’ve probably never seen this baby photo of Brock Lesnar, and it is even better than you’re imagining. If I had three wishes, one of them would be to own a Baby Brock Lesnar. [Cage Potato]

Not Sports

RIP Sherwood Schwartz - Matt Ufford wrote a quicky eulogy for this guy, but he was actually super important to my life. I was a hyper-advanced only child without any form of ADD, so I spent way too much of my childhood staring at TV reruns, and without Sherwood Schwartz I would’ve been miserable and stuck watching NOVA. The Brady Bunch is shoot one of my favorite shows of all time, and last seasons Jan is the foxiest pre-birth crush ever. [Warming Glow]

Supercut: Cinemas Dirtiest Dirty Talk - I was hoping both American Psycho and Shark Attack 3: Megalodon would be in this, and I wasn’t disappointed. Not the kind of thing you should watch in front of people, but the kind of thing you should watch. [Film Drunk]

Meme Watch: The Zuckerberg Note Pass Is the Meme That Keeps on Giving - I feel bad that I think of Jesse Eisenberg now whenever I hear “Mark Zuckerberg”, to the point that real pictures of the guy look like an imposter. I wonder if Eisenberg is actually Facebook friends with Rashida Jones? [Uproxx]

The Live-Action Akira Has Finally Reached Its Apocalypse - The fact that the Akira movie is never going to get made is one of those things that help me know God exists. They wanted to make it about Keanu Reeves shooting machine guns and doing kung-fu with his motorcycle. Jesus Christ. [Gamma Squad]

Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! –via @KyleBrandt34.

The latest preview for Tecmo Bowl Throwback is out, and it looks like the game is coming together nicely. A couple of obvious observations: First, the game doesn’t appear to be licensed by the NFL, and probably won’t be, which is fine. I personally would like to see them license the names of some of those good-to-very-good players from the 1990s and bring them back (looking at you, Bam Morris and Ray Crittenden). Also, the graphics updates for the new console are terrific, and it looks like the classic look and feel of the original games will remain intact. The game is scheduled for release on Xbox Live and the PlayStation network this spring. Video and images are after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

The announcement of the release of a next-generation Tecmo Bowl title for XBOX 360 and PS3 had people buzzing over the weekend with nostalgia for overly simplistic gameplay. But Tecmo Bowl Throwback could do more than just be a cute little break from Madden. It could…could…alter the already-shifting landscape of how videogames are produced and sold.

Consider the plight of 2K Sports’ NHL series, which already has announced that it will not be producing an NHL 2K11 title next fall, but instead will take a year off before releasing NHL 2K12:

EA Sports’ NHL is widely, and justifiably, regarded as the superior product by the sports gaming cognoscenti. A year out of the game for NHL 2K will harden EA NHL’s advantage in that sector, and it’ll also reap the dollars from less discriminating customers who may have bought the competition. But when 2K Sports comes back it’ll probably be fighting for those who don’t buy a hockey game every year, and that’s a market less likely to follow or value the reputations of studios and their ongoing franchises. –Kotaku.

Has the “true simulation” market for sports video games reached its saturation point? If so, that’s great news for the guys releasing the new Tecmo Bowl. Depending on how the game is released, the retro aspect of the game makes it seem like a “can’t miss,” even without NFL licensing. This could be the shift away from super-serious sports games that could bring casual gamers back into the fold. Or it could be marking sports sim apocalypse. Or both. Or neither. It’s hard to know for sure when I haven’t eaten all day.

ASYLUM POLL: Is Tecmo Bowl the greatest football video game ever?

Tecmo Bowl Throwback has been confirmed for North American release on next-generation console networks next spring. And yet nobody bothers to make a videogame for the CFL. Some features of the new game, available on Xbox LIVE Arcade and PlayStation Network:

• Online Multiplayer: Find your old buddies online and challenge them to matches just like back in the day

• 2D + 3D Graphics: Experience all new 3D graphics with the ability to switch to the classic 2D style!

• Customizable Teams and Rosters: Play as any of the 32 teams with customizable team names and rosters in full seasons --GameFocus

I was never big on Tecmo Bowl in the mid-1990s. That’s probably because I sucked at it, unless I played as the Pittsburgh Steelers, and even then I was about average. The look of the old game was terrible; it looked like an Oompa-Loompa orgy on AstroTurf. Not that I have first-hand knowledge of those things. I just read the police reports like everybody else.

When I made a “16-bit” comment about our last Tecmo Bowl post, some people gave me grief because Tecmo Bowl is really an 8-bit game. But the first time I ever played it was on Super Nintendo, which was a 16-bit system. Just thought I’d point that out. But anyway, these pixelated incarnations of NFL highlights are the cat’s pajamas. That doesn’t mean that cats would sleep in them; that just means that they’re pretty sweet. But if your cat still doesn’t want to sleep naked, I can still recommend a medium-sized plastic bag. via, via.