Two truths:

1. According to Wikipedia, the cockney accent represents “working-class Londoners, particularly those in the East End”. According to most Americans, “white people” is an accent representing wherever you live, and everyone else in the world sounds weird and can’t speak English.

2. Unless somebody suddenly brings Rex Harrison back from the dead, our 2012 Olympic athletes are not going to sound like gentlemen and ladies.

A brief synopsis, courtesy of YouTube:

As the London 2012 Olympic Games get closer, we thought you might like to see a different side to some of the athletes of the U.S. Olympic Team. Everyone has been busy preparing for the Games on the sporting field but what about off it? The athletes of Team USA want to be good guests and say thank you to Britain for hosting the Games. To get to know their London hosts, watch how they get on in a challenge to learn to speak proper ‘Cockney.’.

For those of you who might not know the translation of the phrase, it means: “You can go mad in celebration if you win a medal!” Fingers crossed for Team GB and Team USA athletes to win lots!

The best part is watching their brains try to process “different accent” and shifting to their default accent voice, be it Asian (probably because of the word “oriental”), John Wayne (good job, Debbie Capozzi) or my favorite, Logan Tom’s “aggressive urban”. You can go chicken oriental MY SON~!

Next up in the headphones: learning to speak respectfully when visiting foreign lands!

[h/t to the dastardly Chris Chase at Fourth-Place Medal]

Blake Griffin has a torn meniscus and a strong desire to be everyone’s favorite, post-Shaq “funny athlete”, so he’s got a lot of free time to show up on YouTube chat shows and joke about being home schooled. Today’s appearance is on ‘Metaphysical Milkshake’, the latest effort from SoulPancake and The Office star Dwight Schrute Rainn Wilson. It’s one part Between Two Ferns, two parts Jon Benjamin Has A Van and minus three parts Zach Galifianakis and H. Jon Benjamin.

Regardless, Griffin has always been a funny interview, so it’s as enjoyable as always to watch him ask for Steve Carrell’s phone number and reveal that he texts pictures of his junk to comedians. Oh, and he quit the Olympic team because he’s afraid of “most of the Chinese big men”. Good stuff.

Video is below. /Halpert face

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Note to other countries: If you want to learn how to beat Team USA, just stop all the alley-oops. If they can’t alley-oop they’re only going to score like 30 points the entire game.

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Links

UPROXX Live Q&A With RJ Mitte, AKA Walter Jr. From ‘Breaking Bad’ |Warming Glow|

Music Video Breakdown: ‘End of the Road’ By Boyz II Men |UPROXX|

Documentary subject stopped by TSA because of his huge penis |Film Drunk|

Celebrate ‘Dark Knight Rises’ Opening With Parody Images |Gamma Squad|

Ray J Trolls Kim Kardashian On Twitter |Smoking Section|

Colin Cowherd Continues Being A Horrible Person, Thinks Dez Bryant’s Mom Is A Crack Head |Smoking Section|

5 Great Batman Villains That Won’t Work In The Movies |Gamma Squad|

Michelle Jenneke: Gorgeous Hurdler, Sudden Internet Sensation |With Leather|

Help Wanted: Will You Attend Gathering of the Juggalos for FilmDrunk? |Film Drunk|

Hold Me, Lana: The 2012 Emmy Snub Awards |Warming Glow|

Some Men Just Want To Watch The World Burn: A Meme Retrospective |UPROXX|

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"Come on, hail to the chief, boo."

After trailing by as many as 10 points to Team Brazil, the U.S. Men’s Olympic Basketball Team had plenty of people laughing at that whole Dream Team debate last night. But Kobe Bryant LeBron James and Co. got the last laugh, as they pulled off an 80-69 victory, sending the Brazilians home to their stupid beaches and ridiculously sexy women. Ha, losers.

So with the win in the books and basketball disaster averted, the nation’s focus on the actual big loser of the night – President Barack Obama, who was booed by the crowd at the Verizon Center in Washington, DC after he and the First Lady failed to smooch it up when the Kiss Cam was pointed at them early in the game. Only after another Kiss Cam attempt in the 4th quarter did Barry-O finally give his lady some sugar, but to many people, it was simply too late.

Look, I know that some people think the Kiss Cam needs to disappear, but I’m an advocate of this tradition that dates back to the 1700s. I’m also here to defend the Obamas, because as With Leather’s Official Presidential Sporting Event Attendance Authority, I know that they’re hardly the first First Couple to ever muff the Kiss Cam opportunity, as evidenced by this collection of awkward moments that I have put together.

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That’s all well and good, but let’s see him try that with a 5-foot-2 Frenchman in his way! (via Yardbarker)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
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- Like us on Facebook.

Links

Michael Jai White Will Be Joining Us For A Live Discussion Today |Film Drunk|

Spend the Week Overanalyzing These 28 Images From The New Season of ‘Breaking Bad’ |UPROXX|

TV GIFs Of The Week (And The Best Of George Costanza) |Warming Glow|

The Best And Worst Of Sgt. Slaughter Beating Up People At A Minor League Baseball Game |With Leather|

5 Comic Book Story Types Hollywood Has Yet To Tackle, But Should |Gamma Squad|

Team USA Basketball Announces Final Roster For 2012 Olympics |Smoking Section|

Our Country’s Latest, Greatest Achievement: Slater’s 50/50′s “‘Merica Burger” |Smoking Section|

The Amazing Spider-Man Is Getting At Least Three Movies And Six Villains |Gamma Squad|

Reason No. 4,651,763 Why Twitter Is Destroying Humanity |With Leather|

The Master Steven Seagal Finally Stepped Into The Octagon |Film Drunk|

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A nice counterpoint to the heavy stuff I wrote about yesterday. The grunting really makes it. (via Tastefully Offensive)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

FilmDrunk’s 2012 Oscars Best Picture Bracket - I’m not quite as acerbic about movies as Vince, and I love at least 6 of the Best Picture nominees this year. Not a fan of The Help, War Horse or Pay 9/11 Forward. [Film Drunk]

The Dying Art Of Rap Battles & Beefs - Well hey, at least now we’ve got a Twitter feud between a remorseless violent dancing man-child and a pro wrestler security guards wouldn’t let into the arena because they thought he was a fan! [Smoking Section]

‘Community’ Hiatus Might Have Actually Improved Its Chances at Renewal - I want so badly for these characters to graduate. Shows with a logical end need to reach their logical end! [Warming Glow]

Our 30 Favorite Pictures From This Year’s Mardi Gras Chewbacchanal -
“Here’s a thing we do where we get drunk and girls shows us their boobs. How could we make it better?” “STAR WARS.” [Gamma Squad]

In Case You Ever Wanted To See Robert Downey Jr. As A Pinup Girl - I haven’t, but uh, thanks for sharing. [UPROXX]

Man Repeatedly Pepper-Sprayed At Disneyland During Fight - Where were these guys when Ursula was trying to destroy Prince Eric’s boat? Or when Gaston was in the woods trying to stab folks? [Buzzfeed]

Rick Santorum’s Gmail Inbox Reveals The Truth About GOP Candidate (PICTURE) - The guy’s last name is “Santorum” for Christ’s sakes, don’t vote for him. Who’s his VP gonna be, Charles Mung? [HuffPost Comedy]

Off The Air: 11 Things Adult Swim Left Online - I wish somebody would accidentally leave ‘Look Around You’ season 2 on a U.S. DVD. [Adult Swim]

How They Made The Greatest Simpsons Episode Of All-Time, “Homer At The Bat” - “Last Exit To Springfield” is the greatest Simpsons episode of all-time, thank you very much. [FARK]

Bossip Exclusive: Ray J Planning To Sue Radio Station Over Spoof Fake Interview Discussing Whitney And Bobby - Any time Ray J talks, the other person should respond with OH RAY J, OH RAY J, OH BAYBEE~ until he shuts up. [Bossip]

How Do You Improve Mardi Gras? Add Will Ferrell - I like that Will Ferrell is just wandering around hanging out at stuff he likes. Beer commercials, Spanish language movies, Minor League Baseball, Mardi Gras. [The FW]

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