I am currently finishing up a guest installment of Warming Glow’s Corgi Friday, so these links will be a little less wordy than usual. That’s probably for the best, isn’t it? We’ve got a lot of cool stuff on our network, so take your time and check it all out. Then, come back to Warming Glow and look at the pictures I took at a corgi party in Austin. THEN, go to the With Leather main page and hit refresh non-stop until it’s time for you to go to bed.

Links

Works Of Art: Rap’s 33 Most Memorable Illustrated Album Covers [Smoking Section]

The NPH Venn Diagram [UPROXX]

Frotcast 72: Lindy West LIVE IN STUDIO! [Film Drunk]

5 Reasons Most Studies About Violent Video Games are B.S. [Gamma Squad]

‘Top Chef: Dads’ Is Hilarious [Warming Glow]

People Of Detroit Rise Up To Protest Any And All Association With Nickelback [UPROXX]

Comedian Suing Kim Kardashian Offers Perfect Opportunity To Post More Amazing Kardashian Gifs [UPROXX]

Marky Mark’s Wahlburgers: A FilmDrunkard’s Review [Film Drunk]

Something Something Alison Brie [Warming Glow]

Can’t Stay Away: Allen Iverson Wants Another Shot At The NBA [Smoking Section]

Kate Beckinsale In A Leather Catsuit Again? If You Insist. [Gamma Squad]

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Last night, I called a buddy of mine who is a pretty big Chicago Bears fan and I asked him if the name Glenn Timmerman rang a bell and he said no. Actually, he said, “Was he the punter in the 80s?” But he hadn’t heard of him, so I asked if he was familiar with the “Tattooed Bears Fan” and he replied, “Ohhhh, that dude’s nuts.” I can’t believe I’ve never heard of this guy.

Timmerman, above, is a lifelong Bears fan with a deep appreciation for tattoos. It started with a Bears tattoo on his arm. Next, he shaved his head and had the Bears logo inked on the back of his dome. Next up was a giant Grizzly on his shoulder, and then he made a decision that hurled him into the annals of fanatic insanity. On October 16, 2005, Timmerman met former Bear Otis Wilson and asked him to sign his body – a creepy-yet-harmless-enough request. Timmerman then drove straight to his favorite tattoo parlor and had Wilson’s signature inked into his body permanently.

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Welcome to day one of With Leather’s “Make People Say Stuff” Initiative, where we stop openly begging you to comment on posts throughout the day and try to lure you into an Inception’d sense of commenting urgency with a new social set-up, complete with incentives and, once we figure out what to give you, WONDERFUL PRIZES. Couple that with our free fantasy football game (click the busty cheerleaders above or below this post) and we’re basically the ATM of websites. Consider “being interested in things” as your $5 usage charge.

The current features of the new commenting system are:

- Signup using Facebook or Twitter
- Universal login on any Uproxx site
- User Profiles — comments made on any Uproxx site are
aggregated on your profile
- Profile Avatars — use your Facebook, Twitter or a custom avatar
- Clickable avatars — shows mini profile with recent comments

And, if that wasn’t enough, Coming Soon:

- Direct messaging
- Threaded replies to comments
- Commenting awards and badges

So it’s pretty cool. Hop down into the comments here and let us know what you think, because hey, the way we give out rewards is random at this point and I might decide to give you a gift. Just kidding, I’m giving it to Upstate Underdog.

Links

Brandon McCarthy Of The Athletics Knows What The Dugout Is - In one of the most important moments of my creative life, a guy who plays baseball likes my baseball comic. Unbelievable. Turns out all I had to do was hate a player everyone hates already! [@BMcCarthy32]

New ‘Justified’ Villains Cast! - Anne Hathaway in a leather suit! Tom Hardy with a jockstrap on his face! [Warming Glow]

Reddit’s Jailbait Message Board Shut Down For Good, It Seems - This calls for a wistful Bob Dylan-scored retrospective. First the Camwhores chan threads where you could find naked pictures of Mitra, and now this. RIP [UPROXX]

First Avengers Trailer Is Finally Here - This, combined with the joke I made in this week’s Best and Worst of Raw, is going to make me go to BuyBacks and buy A Love Song For Bobby Long, or as I like to call it, Scarlett Johansson Smoking: The Movie. [Gamma Squad]

23 Famous People You Didn’t Know Were Mormon - Hold on, Julie from ‘The Real World’ is a Mormon? No way. [Buzzfeed]

TV Chef Claims Eating Puppy Meat Is No Worse Than Pork - I’m sure this’ll get met with a dismissive wank by the “lol bacon” crowd, but there you go. Also, I don’t know if you noticed it, but eating shrimp is like eating wet cockroaches. [FARK]

Paula Deen Flirts With Matt Lauer - Not as good as the “Giada de Laurentiis Flirts With Brandon Stroud” story I wrote in my sleep last night. [AOL TV]

Restaurant Customer Leaves Negative $2 Tip and Tells the Waitress to Lose Weight - Or as it was originally titled, “facetious dickhead now hilarious to facetious dickheads on Internet”. [The Daily What]

Fun with Penis Confusion: Comparing Alison Brie’s Cleavage to Joel McHale’s Buttcrack - With a close enough proximity to Alison Brie, I really wouldn’t care if that was Joel McHale’s buttcrack. [Pajiba]

Most Likely the Nerdiest Tattoo on the Planet - The guy with the Hulk Hogan Flexing backpiece gently weeps. [Unreality]

Take a look at Brent Burns, NHL defenseman for the San Jose Sharks, pictured right. Does he look like the kind of guy who makes a lot of strong personal decisions? He got his first tattoo when he was 11, and this summer he got a huge tattoo on his back of his pets with the word “Wild” in green. You know, because he played for the Minnesota Wild. Which he no longer does.

Anyway, the latest masterpiece (by way of Twitter and our friends at Puck Daddy, and probably everybody else in the world with eyeballs and a sense of propriety) is Brent’s second giant, colorful dragon, only this one features the beast being battled by Harry Potter. If you click the image it’ll take you to the bigger, full version. Beware of body hair. That’s Harry in the upper left, in case you couldn’t make it out. Why Harry Potter, you ask?

A lot of questions for HP tattoo! Always loved books! There ya go #hogwartslooksfun I don’t know why itsupsidedwn

He posted it to his Twitter upside down, in case you need that part deciphered.

As someone who has a children’s book character tattooed on their person (I have Charlotte from Charlotte’s Web on my right arm) I can only make so much fun of him for this, so I’ll make fun of him for literally everything else ever, including being rich enough to do this and have it be news. But yeah, how many dragons does one body need? One more and he’s going to look like a kiosk at the mall.

“My new tat means, believe in yourself, which I got no problem doing.”

That’s the explanation for New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan’s brand-new calf tattoo provided in a Facebook video. The comments on the video ask all kinds of questions, like “is this your first tattoo” and “REALLY? LOL” and some bickering about who is and isn’t a Jets fan (on a Jets video on a Jets Facebook page), but nobody has posted the most important follow-up question: HOW does this mean “believe in yourself”?

And I don’t want that to sound dismissive, because I have multiple tattoos and understand how ink can feel like an inseparable part of your body and mean something intensely personal, but I want to know what tribal doctrine Ryan was referencing when he decided to get Rainbow Road from Super Mario Kart on his leg. How does this mean “believe in yourself”, Rex? Because when you walked into the tattoo parlor they had this on the wall with “believe in yourself” under it? Did you sit down in the chair blind and tell the artist you want something that means “believe in yourself”? That doesn’t f**king mean anything. I have a tattoo of Charlotte from Charlotte’s Web on my arm because it is my favorite book and helped shape me as an ethical person, and because my late Grandmother used to read it to me when I was little. I didn’t get it because it means “spread your wings and fly”. It also doesn’t mean “you deserve to be a champion”.

Honestly, I guess if anybody would take “believe in yourself” to mean something personally significant it’d be someone like Rex Ryan. Maybe he can get the outline of a butterfly with a tiger’s face inside that means “hope”. Here’s some kanji that says “love, destiny” but it also means “come on, you can do it”.

In news that makes me feel considerably better about Dale Earnhardt Jr., Dale Earnhardt Jr. announced Wednesday morning that he would not have sexual relations with a woman (or, by proxy, a man) with Dale Earnhardt Jr.-themed tattoos. Apparently, this is a thing. The racing star was a guest of the Dan Patrick Show yesterday, and because Dan Patrick literally could not give a sh** about sports, they talked about this. I mean, they also talked about him losing the No. 8 when he left Dale Earnhardt Inc. for Hendrick Motorsports, but he said it “didn’t bother [him] too much” so this is the important part.

Earnhardt Jr.: “No! Heck no! I mean, I just couldn’t.”

Patrick: “What if somebody is so hot, but she’s got Jimmie Johnson’s number on her?”

Earnhardt Jr.: “Ugh! That’d be a deal-breaker, easy. I mean, Jimmie is my buddy and all, but still…”

Patrick: “What if she’s got your Dad on her back, and he’s got angels wings?”

Earnhardt Jr.: “Sure, that’d be fine.”

I wish the line of questioning had continued, with Patrick asking “okay, so what if the girl models for Hawaiian Tropic, but she’s got this tattoo of Tony Stewart where he has mumps or something so it makes him look like Bubba the Love Sponge” and so on until he got to the big one, “would you sleep with a girl who know who you were and was into NASCAR?” and Dale had to sorta sigh and meekly confess, “no, I’m rich a famous and can sleep with regular girls”.

[h/t to Jeff Gluck @ SBN]