"You're the best at being the worst!"

Doug Martin had 8 carries for 31 yards heading into halftime of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ 42-32 win over the Oakland Raiders. In the second half, the rookie out of Boise State carried the ball 17 times for 220 yards and 4 touchdowns, in what is one of the most ridiculous non-QB fantasy football performances of all-time. I bring this up not to celebrate the rookie of the year frontrunner, but to bitch about him instead. Welcome to my new Monday feature – the With Leather Fantasy Football Support Group.

Years ago, when MySpace was a thing and not a Justin Timberlake paycheck, I used to have a group for my friends in which we would ask each other advice about trades, bye week pick-ups, whose mom had the hottest cans, etc. and I always meant to bring that here, I just forgot because I’m an idiot. But that ends today, because each Monday I’m going to reach out to people who have been scorned and destroyed by the biggest fantasy football performances of the week. It starts with Doug Martin, because I traded him two weeks ago and yesterday that bro’s team tore my balls off and used them as a hackey sack.

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Liberally reposted from Wendesday:

You know the drill by now. With Leather has been teaming up to bring you top-shelf fantasy football with FanDuel.com all season. This is the last game we’re doing with them, so if you’ve been on the fence about participating before, now’s your time to shine.

It’s two measly dollars to sign up and draft a team, and you get the chance to win $1,000 in prizes. It’s legit. I won five bucks for my 40th-ish place finish in the last game. I am terrible at fantasy football and STILL doubled my money. If you’re good, you can really clean up. And you’re good, right?

Here’s how we play the game:

This is your very last chance to play FanDuel Fantasy Football with us this season, so sign up for the game now. We’ve only got 555 spots available and scoring begins at kickoff on Sunday, October 28. You can obsessively edit and re-edit your teams until kickoff, so get started. COME ON, DO IT. I AM PRESSURING YOU INTO SIGNING UP.

Pro Tip: Don’t draft anybody with gigantic clods of grass in their face.

Today in Extremely Specific Fetishes, we follow the Tampa Bay Buccaneers cheerleaders into a haunted house at Busch Gardens’ annual Howl-O-Scream event. It’s the scariest thing the poor girls have had to do since somebody approached them and said, “hey, go do a stupid horse dance behind the mascot, we’re gonna make a Gangnam Style video“.

From the YouTube description:

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Cheerleaders challenged their fears inside the Dark Side of the Gardens at Howl-O-Scream last weekend. The cheerleaders toured the new houses Blood Asylum and Circus of Superstition 3-D.

In Blood Asylum, the cheerleaders ran from “The Creature” in a high-security asylum for the criminally insane. Then, in Circus of Superstition 3-D, the 14 cheerleaders faced 13 superstitions and crazed circus clowns in a 3-D tent of terror.

This is the fourth year they’ve done it, and frankly it’s a teen-boy-reading-Fangoria‘s dream. After the jump, you’ll find video of their … uh, “tour,” as well as a variety of photographs that prove once and for all that bright red lipstick and hot pants will not protect you from a werewolf attack.

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Captain Fear from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and, more importantly, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers cheerleaders have produced their own Gangnam Style video. Somewhere the Oregon Duck is rolling his eyes and quacking about how he did this a month ago, when Gangnam Style didn’t get on everybody’s nerves. (via Bush League Chronicle)

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Links

Music Video Breakdown: ‘November Rain’ By Guns N’ Roses |Warming Glow|

America’s Latest Youth Scourge: ‘Butt-Chugging’ |UPROXX|

Ugh. Jaden Smith has a new music Video. |Film Drunk|

Hot Twitter List Buzz Words Top 25: Playmates I’d Like To Watch Golf With |With Leather|

Five Steps To A Great Horror Movie |Gamma Squad|

Rosa Acosta Adds Her Sexy Spin To Classic Movie Scenes |Smoking Section|

Bill Belichick Receives Relatively Mild Ginger Hammering |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

The Problem With The Emmy Awards In 5 Pictures |Buzzfeed|

12 Beloved Children’s Authors Who Also Wrote for Grown-Ups |Mental Floss|

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I’m sure there’s plenty of NFL news and notes to update today, but the majority of games were on Saturday and you’ve probably seen Jerome Simpson landing a flip into the end zone 600 times by now (if you haven’t, it’s here). What you may not have seen nearly enough of are NFL cheerleaders dressed in all of their best holiday attire during the NFL’s Week 15 and 16 action. And I know that most of them are dressed like Santa Claus to honor Christmas, but I say holiday attire because the Indianapolis Colts cheerleaders wore blue and white so they could technically be giving the NFL’s Jewish fans some bigger candles this Hanukkah season.

Among the teams to feature their festive females were the Dallas Cowboys, Philadelphia Eagles, Tennessee Titans, Baltimore Ravens, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Colts, Buffalo Bills, Oakland Raiders, among others. And even the Los Angeles Clippers’ dancers got in on the action, as if to say, “Merry Christmas, NBA fans who stayed up late to watch the newest media bandwagon darling lay a complete thrashing on the Golden State Warriors.” Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, indeed, friends of With Leather.

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On a day when sports news is dominated by child molestation, I’d like to lighten the mood a little by presenting two sports guys who can’t stop calling people names on the Internet.

The first, former Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Oakland Raiders defensive tackle Warren Sapp, reacted to yesterday’s release of New England Patriots defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth by calling Albert a turd. Exhibit A:

When Belichick gave Haynesworth a chance this season, Sapp figured he might be the only coach left who could get Haynesworth to increase his level of play after two disastrous years with the Redskins.

“If anybody can, [Belichick] can,” Sapp told NESN.com. “The last thing you want to do is show up and be a turd that Belichick cuts. But that’s what he was.”

Exhibit number 2 (cough):

“So when Bill got him — I love Belichick, I love that defense, I love everything about the man — but you can’t make a turd out of something that he’s not. He’s a turd.

You can read the entire interview with Sapp over at NESN, but that’s the digested meat and potatoes of it. Warren Sapp, a guy who would never let money motivate him to do something like dance alongside Kim Kardashian and Jefferson from ‘Married … With Children’ on a gameshow, calling Albert Haynesworth, a man who would never do something for the wrong reasons (like slide his credit card down a woman’s cleavage), feces.

The second incident of the day comes from Stephon Marbury, a man who identifies himself openly as a PEACE STAR, ripping Michael Jordan in a way not too dissimilar from Tracy Morgan as Harry Belefonte on SNL calling Osama Bin Laden an Uncle Tom:

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