The description under the video reads “two babies performing Taekwondo with a mother laughing in the background”, and holy shit, if you thought you knew what “babies performing Taekwondo” looked like before, you’re in for a treat.

The “Mom” starts laughing before they even start, which makes me think she’s neither of the kids’ mother and just showed up as high as possible to watch kids shootfight. I think Blue is the more accomplished fighter, because he’s got a lethal spinning back kick. Red just kinda bobs up and down in place. It’s like watching a Kimbo Slice fight, only longer and more believably violent.

When Blue figures out he can increase his knockout power by standing a little closer, look out, he’ll be unstoppable.

[h/t Ross Abel]

I don’t fancy myself much of a conspiracy theorist* but I couldn’t help but notice the eerily close timing of Michael Vick’s withdrawal from this Thursday’s scheduled appearance on Oprah and the sudden appearance of a video of two Asian toddlers engaged in Taekwando. Sure, this video has absolutely nothing to do with Vick and clearly doesn’t take place in America, but if Marko Jaric can land Adriana Lima, then anything must be possible.

Anywho, the video you’re about to see is rather intense and your toddlers should not try to attempt this fighting style at home. Unless they dip their little fists in glue and roll them around in broken glass first. Who says brutal death matches can’t be adorable?

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Logan Campbell competed in the Taekwando event in the Beijiing Olympics, but he’s spending his offseason recovering just like any other guy…aside from the fact that he’s opened up a brothel in his native country, which recently decriminalized prostitution.

His own costs leading up to Beijing totalled some NZ$150,000 (£58,000) [About $94K US --Ed.], much of it provided by his hard-working parents, Campbell noted.

To take the financial strain from his parents Campbell has gone into partnership with Hugo Philiips, a 20-year-old accountancy graduate, to set up what the pair insist is a “high-class” escort agency.
He hopes to take a couple of years off to work full-time on the new venture, before returning to training in 2011 with a NZ$300,000 Olympic kitty.

He said “kitty.” But Campbell insists that’s he’s not a pimp.

“Pimps are more tough-type guys. I’m an owner of an escort agency.”

Whatever, pimp. You just keep on pimpin’. The guy that beat Campbell went on to win the bronze, for whatever that’s worth. Hopefully Campbell’s mat technique will not have eroded from chops and kicks to backhand face slaps and varied utterances of “Bitch better have my money.” But if that’s where he works, where does he go to totally abuse some random woman? Olive Garden? Yeah, it’s late in the day. I got nothin’.

|via So Much For College|

Cuban Angel Valodia Matos was leading the bronze medal match for taekwondo's 80-kg division when he was disqualified for taking longer than the minute allowed for an injury.  So he did what any reasonable athlete would do: he kicked the referee in the face.  So instead of an Olympic medal he gets a lifetime ban from his sport.

The best part of the video, aside from the face-kicking and the Australian commentator who says "brain explosion," is the bronze medal winner from Kazakhstan celebrating wildly with his country's flag.  Yeah, way to win by default, buddy.  The referee who gave you the fight got kicked in the face.  Live it up.

(Fast-forward to about the 2:30 mark for face-kicking; alternate video at Machochip)