I will handle this video’s title like I handle the opening credits to Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I don’t know whether or not “Magisk” means “magic”, but I’m positive “klubbpass” means “club pass” and that the Swedish Elite League is awesome for even having a word for it. This is the coolest eight seconds since Luke Perry something something.

What you need to know, courtesy of Puck Daddy:

In an early December loss to Luleå Hockeyförening, [Oscar] Moller was on the receiving end of an unusual (and quite awesome) pass: Moller lost his stick in the offensive zone; his teammate returned it to its rightful owner by flipping it with his own stick back to Moller, all while transitioning to defense.

It’s seriously something the Mighty Ducks could’ve (and probably should’ve) pulled against evil Iceland at the ’94 Junior Goodwill Games. “This isn’t a hockey game, it’s a circus!” Of course, if you need real life pre-Crisis Gordons Bombay you don’t have to look any further than the NHL, who have a rule in place to prevent this kind of radical awesomeness:

“A player who has lost or broken his stick may only receive a stick at his own players’ bench or be handed one at his players’ bench or be handed one from a teammate on the ice. A player (Henrik Sedin) will be penalized if he throws, tosses, slides or shoots a stick to a teammate on the ice.”

They probably have regulations in place about the Knuckle Puck, too.

Tiger Woods is a jerk. He cheated on his beautiful wife, the mother of his two children, with upwards of 60,000 borderline-transvestite pornstars and strippers before exploding into a multimedia tornado of sorrowful remorse and terrible golf. He shouldn’t have done things to make his wife want to beat him to death with a golf club, and we should keep his actions hanging over his head for most of the rest of his life. But hey, just in case you’d tricked yourself into thinking his Swedish model wife Elin Nordegren was somehow a relatable human being betrayed by someone she truly loved, I’d like to direct you to her new boyfriend: Jamie Dingman.

I’m sorry, I’m being presumptuous. I’m sure he’s just like you and me. You know, if “you” were billionaire philanthropist Michael Dingman and I was your globetrotting son.

Dingman is an accomplished emerging-markets veteran who has represented his father’s interests in China for the past six years. In the mid-1990s, he specialized in Russian private equity funds. He also owned an IndyCar team sponsored by World Childhood Foundation, a charity founded by Queen Silvia of Sweden.

He splits his time between China and the Bahamas and recently spent time with Nordegren in Florida and Sweden.

When I was little I wanted to either be a fireman or an emerging-markets veteran.

How do you get to a point in your life where your two defining characteristics are “representing your father’s interests in China” and a specialization in Russian private equity funds? Proving that it’s not who you are but who you’re supposed to be, this gangly Mark Cuban-looking motherf**ker has also bedded Tom Brady’s baby mama Bridget Moynahan and the PRINCESS OF SWEDEN. I didn’t even know Sweden had a princess.

Don’t jump to conclusions: According to “a friend” (thanks, Fox Sports), he’s your everyday, Russian private equity fund-spreading Johnny Appleseed.

“He’s never been so happy. He and Elin have strong feelings for each other,” a friend said. “He’s a classic all-American guy. He’s handsome, a total gentleman and low-key. He’s never been in the press. Elin’s a very lucky girl; he’s a great guy but very private.”

Yes, this all sounds extremely low-key. It must be a wonderful life where you can divorce one of the most accomplished and recognizable athletes of the century and still be able to dismiss his accomplishments to your new boyfriend by saying “lol he played golf”.

Have you ever been to a baseball game and seen your favorite player warming up a few feet in front of you, but when you call out his name or try to ask him for an autograph he waves at you and moves or just ignores you completely? It’s not because he’s a dick, it’s because in today’s sports media world literally any interaction between an athlete and another human being will be reported, analyzed, misinterpreted and manipulated to suit the needs of a writer.

Such is the case of Josefine Öqvist, a Swedish soccer player who traded her jersey for a fan’s t-shirt following Sweden’s 1-0 victory over North Korea in group play of the Women’s World Cup on Saturday. I haven’t read anything explaining why she did it; she was probably just being cool and affable, because hey, she’d just won a World Cup game. 35 years ago they would’ve turned it into a Coke commercial. But today isn’t 35 years ago, it’s 35 minutes ago, so German News reported the incident and put a gigantic black bar across her torso to “censor” it.

So either the German news wanted us to think she’d been playing a World Cup soccer game without a bra and decided to flash everyone in the crowd, or the image of a woman in a sports bra was so potentially damaging to German children that it had to be halted. The best part of the video (besides NEIN! across her chest) is the higest rated YouTube comment, which reads like it was written by Kyle Farnsworth:

What the f**k in the world is that f**ken black box doing there she was f**ken dressed
jnmexico1997 19 hours ago

The uncensored version is now available, which you can watch after the cut.

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Leave it to the Swedes to not only make affordable dorm room and bachelor pad furniture, but it seems they’ve also invented the most adorable form of animal competition not called the Puppy Bowl. Known as Kaninhop, this Swedish sensation involves bunny rabbits show-jumping as if they were miniature fluffy horses with big, floppy ears.

But the bunny in the box, Daily Mail…

Over the past few decades to sport has spread far from its Scandinavian homeland and clubs have now sprung up in several other European countries, the U.S., Canada and even Japan.

Rules vary from country to country, but generally the more jumps a rabbit clears the higher its score. There is also sometimes a time element to competitions.

You also lose points if your rabbit starts a bunny orgy in the middle of the course, but you gain points for how many female rabbits your male impregnates. It’s pretty complex. I just wish we had a video of bunnies competing in Kaninhop set to Joe Esposito’s “You’re the Best”…

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In a story that almost made me break out the “Yahoo Serious Festival” screen grab from The Simpsons, the Toronto Maple Leafs (the real NHL hockey team, in real life) have signed Mark Owuya, a 21-year old rapping Swedish goalie, to an entry-level contract. Sure, Mark did great in his 32 games in the Swedish Elite League last season, but he’s also a failed American Idol contestant who calls himself “Mark in Da Park” and uploads songs about poppin’ that thang to YouTube.

“After each game, I’d do a rap,” he said. “On the buses, some guys may start beat-boxing and I’ll start freestyling about stuff that happened.”

Yeah dude that sounds great. Here’s a clip of his tryout for Swedish Idol, wherein he compares his penis to a banana and breaks out the phrase “like a motherf**ker” on Swedish TV. I guess they don’t care about that kind of thing. Swedish is great because it’s all mixed up with other languages, and even the Swedish sparts sound like jacked up English. So here’s a clippin dur American Yodel!

Thank goodness he has a professional hockey career to fall back on.

[via Hot Clicks]

This is a Swedish hockey player that forgot to that the protective guards off his skates, and so naturally he has to crawl back to the bench like a little girl so he can take them off again. You know you’re having a bad day when the backup goalie is laughing at you, although it’s hard to feel bad for somebody who lives in the native territory of Swedish fish. Failure has never been so chewably delicious. –Bareknucks.