Three guys shot a documentary surfing off the largely-uncharted west coast of Ireland, which is kind of amazing, because I thought the only thing you needed to impress girls in Ireland was a full pint glass and a general sense of belligerence. The film, Power of Three, will be released in May. Here’s the trailer.

|Steady Burn|

This kid had a surfboard.  On the roof. 

Now, to me, that sounds like a recipe for success.  All sorts of things could go right.  Roofs are just made for surfing.  You catch big wave of shingles and you can ride all day.  Just you and the house, man.  Brings you closer to God.

Shockingly, none of that happens in this video.  And the clip’s closing event… **kisses fingers** Magnifique!  Gravity’s best punchline in ages.

An Australian surfer’s leg rope got hooked on a large shark, resulting in an unexpected wild ride at sea.

John Morgan, a 51-year-old surf shop owner… said he was about 330 yards from shore and paddling out when the 10-foot shark swelled up from underneath him Sunday afternoon.

“It freaked me out,” Morgan said. “It bumped my leg rope and next thing it tangled itself in the leg rope and started charging out to sea with me in tow. To say it was like being towed by a jet ski might be an exaggeration, but it was really fast,” he added.

Morgan said he clung to the board until the shark suddenly freed itself and disappeared.

Yeah, I know.  That story sucks.  Sorry.  But hey, up top is the badass video of great whites eating seals in slow-motion from Discovery’s “Planet Earth.”  Get high and watch that, then this story will be way better.   You’ll be all, “Dude, I wanna hitch a ride on a shark, man.  A shark!  Holy crap that would be wild.”  At least, that’s what I’ve been told people talk like when they’re high. I disapprove of illegal drug use. Unless I’m giving cocaine to strippers.

For landlocked countries like Germany, who only have a northern coast without particularly great waves, inlet surfing is probably as good a ten as you're going to hang (or however the surfer lingo goes) as you're going to get. But oh no! That sign there says it's against the rules. Who knew the Germans were such sticklers for orders? I hope whatever charge these kids kids get out of their fleeting moment of fun is worth it, because they'll find their family members gunned down in the foyer when they get home by goverment agents. You thought Germany's brutal past was behind them? You obviously haven't tried surfing where you shouldn't.

Bethany Hamilton's story is well-known: as a young teen, she was attacked by a shark while surfing, resulting in the loss of her left arm.  The remarkable part, though, is that this in no way deterred her from continuing her surfing career.  Now 18, Bethany's looking to build herself as a brand name and make the jump to the pro circuit.

Today, Bethany has lost her braces, gained composure before a camera and sprouted to a willowy 5 feet 11. She's a solid contender in international pro surfing contests and presides — with her family's help — over a thriving cottage industry that includes books, videos, inspirational speaking engagements and cosmetics…

Bethany nicknamed what remains of her left arm "Stumpy." The stump is too short to operate a working prosthesis, so Bethany early on decided there was no use to a fake arm. She's comfortable in tank tops or bathing suits and as a result, people are comfortable around her.

Christmas Ape and I argued a little about who would get to write about this story. I asked him what his angle would be, and he said, "Hey sharks: This half-eaten morsel still has plenty of meat on it. And she's just asking for it. Remember: there's no five-second rule in the ocean."  And I admit, I was kind of amazed.  I hadn't considered the possibility of another angle besides amputee sex.  I mean, she is legal. 

Oh, so I'm the pervert, huh?  Well I've had just about enough of your Puritanical bias against amputee fetishes, mister!

[Sports by Brooks] 

This is San Jose Sharks fan Adrian Ruiz, celebrating after he got tickets to Game 3 of last year's Western Conference Semifinals.  The AP contrasted this happy-good-times photo with this news:

Ruiz, 24, a surfer, was killed by a shark attack off the coast of Mexico. Ruiz was surfing at Trancones beach off the Pacific coast of Mexico on Monday, April 28, 2008 when he was bitten by a gray shark on his right thigh.

Way to kill the party, AP.  Sheesh, the people at the Ironic Death Department must have stayed up all night working on this one.  As a Mariners fan, it makes me afraid that I'm going to get raped to death by drunken sailors.  I think I'll avoid deepwater ports for a while. 

(thanks to burly contrarian Jim Jones)