If you said anything other than “Kate Upton,” get the hell away from our website immediately.

Last year, right before Kate hit her first Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover and began an unstoppable media blitz involving ambassadorial trips to Mexico, denied sports romances and Bill O’Reilly outrage, Victoria’s Secret runway magnate Sophia Neophitou spoke out about how Kate was actually Kate Upton Plain And Tall, and not fit for the VS brand.

“We would never use Kate … She’s like a footballer’s wife, with the too-blond hair and that kind of face that anyone with enough money can go out and buy.”

The good news for fans of wonderfully-displayed underpants is that Victoria’s Secret does not necessarily the opinions expressed by Ms. Neophitou, and once again included Kate on the back cover of their catalog. The only problems are (1) the photo they used is super old, (2) they didn’t bring Kate back in to shoot any new stuff, and (3) they never told her they were going to use it.

The VS photos of Upton in a black bra surfaced yesterday, and buzz spread that the blond babe could be the next Angel, joining Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio.

But, “The pictures are from 2011,” sniffed a source. “Kate’s not currently contracted to work with Victoria’s Secret, and they didn’t contact her before they used these images.” (via Page Six)

So now we’re faced with a dilemma … do we enjoy the fact that Victoria’s Secret is using our (and America’s) favorite model despite the biased opinion of a person who works exclusively with waifish runway models, or do we get indignant because they infringed on Kate’s rights as a performer? While you mull that over, here are a few instances of Kate’s other appearances in the catalog. You know. To give you context.

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Forgive me, faithful With Leatherheads, for I have sinned. I saw this story loosely related to Reading Football Club the other day and whispered to myself ever so gently, “Hey, maybe throw up a post about those losers” before pouring myself into a bubble bath, but then I forgot because I’m old and stupid. Anyway, Reading is currently only three points better than Queens Park for dead last in the Barclays Premier League standings, so it’s safe to say that they’re not having the best season, at least on the field.

If I wanted to be an optimist, though, I’d say that Reading is only 48 points out of first place, but then I’d probably incite a soccer hooligan riot in the comments, because I never ever get soccer terminology right. That said, I’ll stick to what I know and what I know is that Reading is owned by 30-year old Anton Zingarevich, who is the son of Russian billionaire Boris Zingarevich. And if Jason Bourne and James Bond movies have taught me anything, it’s that Russian billionaires make all of their money by stealing oil pipelines from other billionaires.

So what does a few billion dollars buy a 30-year old? For starters, obviously, a professional soccer club. But much more importantly – since the club in question is awful – this status has also landed Anton a 23-year old wife named Katsia, who just so happens to be a Victoria’s Secret Angel, which is something that is obviously very important to me based on what interests me.

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Last week we posted the preview clip of Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover model Kate Upton spitting hot fire alongside Outkast’s Big Boi and Buffalo Bills wide receiver Stevie Johnson for episode 2 of Skullcandy’s Take a Supermodel to Work. The full episode has arrived, and if you’re a fan of watching Kate Upton remove her jacket, you’ll like it.

I was expecting a full-on ‘The Love Below’ effort from Kate, and unfortunately we STILL don’t get to hear her rapping. We just get her saying rap terms while a pair of Not Jean-Ralphios ogle her boobs and Big Boi just plays video games with Stevie. But, you know, Kate is adorable, and it is what it is. I guess Kate singing along to ‘Teach Me How To Dougie’ will have to remain the best Kate Upton rapping memory.

You can check out the full episode below. Spoiler alert:

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What is this, Family Feud?

Remember last year, when Kate Upton was revealed as the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover model, went on ‘Late Show With David Letterman’ to promote it, made jokes in the nightly Top Ten list and wore a Marilyn Monroe dress without a bra that made us lose a week of our lives to hotness-induced amnesia? Actually, you probably don’t remember that.

Anyway, Kate went on Dave to promote THIS year’s swimsuit cover — you’ve probably already seen it thanks to Sports Illustrated leaking it early TMZ spoiling it months ago Chinese hackers — and while her outfit doesn’t come close to matching last year’s, it’s still an enjoyable moment of quality time.

Video of the appearance is below. Warning: It contains Katherine Webb making Brent Musburger jokes and doing pageant twirls, because those are now her two jobs.

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Kate Upton is … rapping, I think? for Skull Candy. Big Boi has to record with Andre 3000 with a six month delay via satellite or whatever, but he’ll show up to help Kate Upton spit fire. Good to know. The full video for this “drops” on February 13, so until then, please enjoy Kate angrily taking off her jacket, because reasons. (via Sportress)

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Links

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Candice Swanepoel and Doutzen Kroes of Victoria’s Secret fame are swimming, and swimming is a sport, so here you go. Also, it’s January, and I’m willing to listen to an entire Bruno Mars song to make this happen. More like Candice Swimmingpool, am I right? (via High Definite)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

Immerse Yourself In The Infinite Wisdom Of Raylan Givens |UPROXX|

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Azealia Banks, Angel Haze Go Tit For Tat On Twitter, New Diss Songs |Smoking Section|

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