Back To School Iron Man star Robert Downey Jr. “Tebowed” before presenting the Oscar for Best Documentary at Sunday night’s 84th Annual Academy Awards, briefly reviving a Kirk Douglas-aged meme and making people who think Robert Downey Jr. is funny think Robert Downey Jr. is f**king hilarious.

Gwyneth Paltrow should’ve worn a Knicks jersey and pretended she was Mr. Yunioshi from Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Next year the first 20 minutes of the broadcast should just be Cirque de Soleil planking with Touch Of Evil playing in the background.

But hey, Downey’s facetious Tebowing was far from the only Oscars sports news, as three important things happened — Robin Roberts joined Best Supporting Actress winner for The Help and Auburn alumna Octavia Spencer in namedropping “War Eagle” on the red carpet, Best Picture nominee Moneyball got completely shut out and Taiwan’s Next Media Animation did a recap where they called the Oscars the “gay Super Bowl” and had host Billy Crystal run a 9-hour relay race.

Of course that video is below.

So what does that make the Tony Awards, the gay World Series?

Since defeating the New England Patriots to win Super Bowl XLVI last Sunday, the New York Giants have been celebrating like there’s no tomorrow. Game MVP Eli Manning took his obligatory trip to Disney World, Brandon Jacobs invented time travel and now lives in 1956, and the rest of the team has been attending sporting events and just flat out partying. But nobody has been a bigger star this week than wide receiver Victor Cruz. Why? Because he got to stand next to Kate Upton.

On Wednesday, Cruz joined Upton, designer Naeem Khan and some other people as they cut the ribbon to launch Fall 2012 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in New York City. Last night, Cruz was also the guest of honor at the Oster Media Presents Leila Shams After-Party, of which I only know that it came after the party and was followed by the hotel lobby.

And as if it couldn’t get any greater for Cruz, he’s also being rumored for an invite to join the next season of Dancing With the Stars instead of Tim Tebow. Don’t worry, Tim, there’s always Celebrity Apprentice. I suppose it’s also worth noting that this should add a ton of pressure to the Giants’ offseason, because Cruz wants to get paid, and Giants GM Jerry Reese understands that.

“Every year there’s a guy that comes out of the shadows on different teams. That’s the beauty of the personnel in scouting. You go out and some guys like that fall through the cracks. You only have seven rounds. Those kinds of guys would probably get drafted [in] the old days. I think Rosie Brown got picked in the 27th round. If you had 27 rounds those kinds of guys would definitely get drafted, but you only have seven rounds now. So some players like Victor, with a couple redeeming qualities that some of our scouts like, would probably get drafted at some point in a draft in you had that many rounds. But it’s only seven rounds. So it’s not an exact science. Every year there’s a guy like that and there are plenty of guys who are in the Hall of Fame, but they didn’t get drafted.”

(Via The NY Times)

Luckily, I majored in BS as a Language back in college, so I know that translates to: “Look, dude – can I enjoy this whole Super Bowl thing for a minute or two before you go dumping in my Cookie Crisp? Sure, I want to pay Cruz but we’d also like to keep Mario Manningham. Whoever’s cheaper, you know? In the meantime, Cruz can just have fun hanging out with Ashanti at night clubs and we’ll take care of it when I’m done flicking quarters off a Polynesian dancer’s abs.”

Or something like that. I’m a little rusty.

[Banner via Getty]

While it wasn’t as good as the Doritos commercial with the dog killing cats and bribing his owner, the H&M underwear commercial (after the jump, ladies) starring David Beckham caused quite the stir for its bulginess and rippling abs… or so I was told, because I was totally checking my phone or peeing or outside grilling steaks, bro. But it also caused at least one of Beckham’s rivals to lash out at him via the manliest way possible – Twitter.

According to the memo that my With Leather British news agency carrier pigeon just died on top of, Joey Barton, who plays for Queens Park Rangers, sounded off about his displeasure with Beckham during the Super Bowl on Sunday night. Specifically, Barton gave Becks a jolly ol’ buggering over his tendency to endorse just about anything, as you can see above. But then he took the price of Becks’ knickers to task.

I’m not sure how cheeky that git really was, but then Barton made Lord Fannymore drop his monocle in shock with a hell of an accusation against Beckham.

Barton apparently has a hard time keeping his mouth shut on Twitter, as he was recently investigated over comments he made involving former England captain John Terry’s trial for racially abusing Anton Ferdinand. But last time I checked, accusing a mega-gazillionaire of backing sweat shop labor won’t be the easiest way to keep your bum out of court.

Alas, Beckham’s people barely batted an eyelash.

But a spokesman for the LA Galaxy star insisted that the range was being stitched “under the strictest ethical guidelines”.

He also said anyone who accused Beckham of using child labour was a “madman” as the footballer was himself an ambassador for UNICEF. (Via Truth Dive)

Barton also ranted about Madonna’s halftime performance, and I enjoyed some of his Tweets until my peepers locked on to this one…

Fair enough, Mr. Barton. I wish you the best of luck in your next game for the German national team. OH WAIT.

*fires bottle rocket out of butt cheeks, high fives a bald eagle*

This video is The Internet in real life.

Think about it. It’s Sunday night and the New England Patriots have just lost the Super Bowl. Because you’re a Guy On The Internet, you think it’s an awesome idea to find a place with a bunch of Pats fans and troll them. In real life, that’d involve you putting on a Victor Cruz jersey, going to the UMass campus and giving everybody the finger while you salsa dance.

And, just like on the Internet, people get upset. You get threatened, and eventually somebody sucker punches you. You get dragged away (banned, whatever), the whole thing is recorded and spread around and a guy dressed like a banana is there for some reason. If you added Brazzers ads and a super loud thing telling me I’ve won a free iPad, that’s the f**king Internet, right?

The moral of the story is this: don’t be that guy on the Internet, whether you’re on the Internet or not. Better yet, don’t be the drunk Masshole who yells RRRRIOTTT when a riot might almost be happening.

[h/t Sportress by way of SportsGrid]

"Get up, son. You're making a meme outta yourself."

Another day, another sports meme. After Tim Tebow’s practice of praying on the field developed into the act of “Tebowing”, not a single popular athlete is safe from having one simple moment turned into a ridiculous fad. Yesterday, two days removed from the New York Giants defeating the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLVI, Tom Brady learned that lesson all too well, as he became the inspiration for “Bradying”.

After his Patriots failed to pull off a last second miracle, it took Brady a few moments to collect himself, and he ended up looking like a miserable “Peanuts” character as he sulked on the ground. That brief moment was a blessing to the legions of NFL fans who loathe the Pats for being good at what their team isn’t – winning. And everyone with a camera and an ability to sit helped usher in this new meme era… sort of.

With a Facebook page already in full swing for people to upload their Bradying images, I felt that someone needed to point out two quick things about this new fad. For starters, it’s not new, and the term Bradying was already in use after this image was posted by Niners Nation back in December:

But even before Brady pouted in shame this past Sunday, and long before he made a stupid face in practice, Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo was the original inventor of Bradying…

I know this won’t stop people from carrying through with a fad, and I’m one of the last people who will stop others from making fun of Brady, but people have been ridiculously over-the-top about Brady this week, from that absurd column about blaming Brady to all of the people calling Gisele Bundchen “Yoko”, so I just wanted to challenge people to submit photos of themselves in a different act of Bradying.

So please, upload photos of you being consoled by and making out with billionaire super models here.

(Banner and Gisele images via AP.)

The best part of this is the “this isn’t real, someone is moving the baby’s chin” “of course it’s fake but it’s still a funny movie!” exchange in the comments. Second best part is that a viral video has been born of a guy hitting his baby in the throat.

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Links

Nike Basketball’s Black History Month Collection - If someone asks you, “why isn’t there a white history month?”, defriend and/or strike that person with your fist. [Smoking Section]

Six GIFs Of Jeremy Lin, The Most Surprisingly Exciting Player In The NBA Right Now - Why isn’t there an Asian history month?? (But no, seriously, this guy might be my new favorite player.) [Buzzfeed]

Girl At Giants Super Bowl Parade Can’t Wait to See Mark Sanchez - Is it Kim Kardashian? Because if it is, nobody correct her. [Brobible]

Here’s A Video Montage Of People Unplugging The TV At Crucial Points During The Super Bowl - … followed by “sh*t kids crying kids being taped by their parents because the team they like lost and love and dignity no longer exist say”! [UPROXX]

12 Famous People You Didn’t Know Were in Movies You’ve Seen - I want to know what person remembers Mumford but doesn’t remember that Zooey Deschanel is in it. How is there another circumstance for having seen Mumford? [Pajiba]

‘Can You Draw CatDog Pooping?’: 13 Fascinating Non-Celebrity Reddit AMAs - This is cool and all, but for some reason I think it’d be weirder to watch Doug poop than CatDog. And Moose from ‘You Can’t Do That On Television’. [UPROXX]

Television Sitcoms’ 10 Best Signature Dance Moves - We live in a sad, sad world where The Carlton ranks behind something from ‘Scrubs’. I may never have children. [Warming Glow]

The New Trailer For The Amazing Spider-Man Is Right Here And It Is Awesome - I can’t for the reboot in three years where Aunt May is like 35 years old and Eddie Brock is a gay Latina teen. Reboot! Reboot! [Gamma Squad]

This Week In Posters - Honestly? I don’t think I’ve liked a movie poster in years. The last one I bought was Let The Right One In. [Film Drunk]

The Maria Menounos Super Bowl Bikini Bet: A Retrospective - In case you missed it, please take a look at yesterday’s best torso. Mario Lopez was there! [With Leather]

Best Weatherman FAILS - Capital letters! If there’s one thing the Internet can agree on, it’s weather graphics that look like a penis. [HuffPost Comedy]

Awards Season GIFs: Get To Know The People Behind Your Favorite Internet Memes - An interview with strangers who made gifs. We’re through the looking glass, people. I wish the interview was just “So how do you know when to make gifs?” “I don’t know, I guess when I see something funny.” [Moviefone]

"Scenic, brah."

Of all the ideas that ESPN “Listen to me about everything” guru Bill Simmons has had, the one that has always made the most sense is that the Super Bowl should be hosted on a rotating basis with just cities like Miami, San Diego and New Orleans receiving the honor, because those are fun cities. Of course the primary argument to that is “What about New York, Boston, Chicago and all of the other large northern cities that also have NFL franchises?” and the appropriate response is simply “Brrrrrrrrrrrrr.”

Unless a northern city’s franchise plays in a dome (a la the Indianapolis Colts) there’s pretty much no chance in hell that it will play host to a Super Bowl soon. That is, unless Super Bowl XLVIII in New Jersey can change the league’s mind, and the city of Seattle hopes so, because people up there would love to play host for a week, despite the league’s tyrannical rules.

There are various minimum requirements for potential host stadiums, including a 70,000 seat capacity. CenturyLink Field has the capability to reach that mark. The league also set capacity for this year’s Super Bowl in Indianapolis at 68,000.

Another requirement calls for an average temperature of 50 degrees in the month of February for outdoor venues. Seattle’s average temperature in February is 44 degrees, but the owners waived the weather requirement for the 2014 Super Bowl in New Jersey. Many believe that the game at MetLife Stadium will be a strong litmus test for other outdoor stadiums in colder climates.

(Via Q13 Fox)

Most of my family lives in Washington, so I’m pretty familiar with Seattle and its awesomeness, and I’m absolutely signing on for this. For starters, don’t worry about seats, because Century Link Field has that covered, and it’s also one of the best venues I’ve ever been to. But it’s that stupid weather rule that people are going to point out, and I think it’s just wrong.

Barring any Mayan prophecies coming true, Next year’s Super Bowl is in New Orleans, the 2014 Super Bowl is in New Jersey and Glendale, AZ plays host to the big game in 2015. Super Bowl L is going to be a huge occasion, and I’m almost willing to bet that it’s going to be in London, unless Los Angeles gets its act together and builds a stadium by then. That means that 2017 is the next year that Seattle would have a shot, and by then the climate should be decimated enough that the average February temperatures would be in the 50s. It’s all about forward thinking, NFL.

What you need to know, from the New York Daily News:

The 33-year-old “Extra” correspondent found herself on the losing end of a bet against her colleague A.J. Calloway Sunday after her beloved New England Patriots fell short of the Super Bowl championship.

According to the terms of the bet, Menounos had to host the show in a red, white and blue bikini – and luckily for her, a pair of warm, furry black Uggs.

If Calloway had lost, he would have had to don a Patriots cheerleader outfit.

(If Mario Lopez had lost, he would’ve had to have kissed Calloway on the mouth, which he would’ve hated.)

What you’re looking for: Pictures and video of this, because Maria Menounos is awesome to look at. Well, look no further! Thanks to With Leather you won’t have to take two seconds to type “maria menunous bikini bet” into Google (and 30 or more trying to spell “Menounos”) — we’ve got video, high-res photos and a MIDI of Elton John’s “Candle In The Wind” playing in the background throughout.

(note: MIDI pending)

[images via Getty and @mariamenounos]

Try not to spend the entire video going COME ON TURN AROUND.

Maria in one of those “heh, look at what I’M about to do” naked-in-a-robe Kate Upton twitpics.

HEY HEY HEY HEY WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

These next few pics are mostly the same, but I think you’ll enjoy them, either from the “haw haw the Patriots lost” or “holy sh*t look at her torso” perspectives.

(hover hand)

The woman in the red peacoat is a great counterpoint in this illustration of how men and women view Maria Menounos in a bikini.

Maria in happier times, repping the New York Football Yankees.

Why can’t Gisele have sex with THAT Tom Brady?

Maria interviewing Katy Perry, who is exactly the kind of person who’d think that Justin Bieber both teams half-and-half bullsh*t is a great idea.

via OTBS.

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Links

Rob Gronkowski and Matt Light Partied After Last Night’s Super Bowl Loss - I don’t know Gronk personally, but I assume “play football” and “party” are his only two speeds. This is how he expresses sadness. [Brobible]

M.I.A.’s Middle Finger: A Synthetic Scandal - Here’s an idea: if a “mere apology” isn’t enough to make the PTC happy, stop apologizing to the PTC. [Warming Glow]

Nicki Minaj Slowed Down = Jay-Z - The best part of the halftime show was watching Minaj bug her eyes out repeatedly and try so hard not to be the center of attention. [High Definite]

Eric Rosado Presents “Sh*t Knicks Fans Say” - I wanted to make a “Sh*t Indians Fans Say” so With Leather could get a little traffic, but “we didn’t sign anybody” and “Jason Kipnis is pretty good!” don’t make an entertaining video. [Smoking Section]

Clint Eastwood’s Super Bowl Comercial Contradicting His Political Beliefs? - What about that time he shot a guy with a gun in the old west? Would he shoot someone in real life? Has he ever even lived in the old west? [Moviefone]

Extended Version Of Avengers Super Bowl Trailer Is Here, Sort Of Reveals Who’s In Loki’s Army - I hope there’s a plot point explaining why they undid all the good of Captain America’s 1940s costume and gave him that Morphsuit looking number. [Gamma Squad]

The new Spider-Man looks like a giraffe, wears track shoes - And speaking of bad super hero looks, I hope Spidey can see the Lizard through those pools of urine on his face. [Film Drunk]

The Best Of #Step Brothers - I swear, I’m so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she’s of age, I’m putting her in a home. [UPROXX]

Derpy Louisiana Congressman John Fleming Thinks The Onion Publishes Real News - This is Literally Unbelievable! I hope he never sees the story about the black neighborhood terrorized by an ask murderer. [UPROXX]

18 Jaw Dropping Photos Of Europe’s Deadly Winter - Click here for 23 jaw dropping photos from Bananarama’s Cruel Summer. [Buzzfeed]

SXSW Comedy Podcast Lineup Announced - Awesome, I can finally challenge the Sklar Brothers to a duel with swords. I don’t care, I’ll take them on at the same time, I bet they don’t even know how to use swords. [HuffPost Comedy]

15 of the World’s Weirdest Marriages, ‘I Now Pronounce You… What?!’ - I said “Chuck and Larry”. What, can you not hear me? [The FW]

Why Abed and Troy from Community are the Best Geeks on TV - The Big Bang Theory is the minstrel show of this generation. We need more shows about uncool people who actually exist. [Unreality]

I don’t want to spoil too many of Next Media Animation’s insane, theological recap of Super Bowl XLVI, so check out the video after the jump. Spoiler alert: The Giants win, God has officially forsaken Tim Tebow, and the Taiwanese are out of their goddamn minds.

Enjoy:

Highlights include:

- A recap of Super Bowl XLII, wherein the Giants and the Statue of Liberty destroy the Patriots’ steamroller with 1950s-era sci-fi ray guns and torch fire powers.
- Tebow literally being flicked off of the playing field of life.
- Tom Brady driving over the Giants in a sports car.
- Madonna as a “geriatric Lady Gaga impersonator”, putting in her teeth before a pretty accurate portrayal of her halftime show.
- Am amazing exaggeration of Ahmad Bradshaw’s touchdown, featuring the Patriots rolling out a red carpet and Bradshaw not only trying to moonwalk across, but pulling a Matrix parody as he falls.
- God crushing his Tom Brady Starting Line-Up, clearly having no idea how much it’s worth.
- Eli Manning wanting to go to Coney Island instead of Disney World, because get it

It’s amazing how quick the turnover on these pieces is. They must animate them with the most sophisticated computers in the world. Or a Speak n’ Say, one or the other.