Christina Aguilera has been through a lot lately, what with her highly publicized divorce from Jordan Bratman. But God bless her, she still got it together and showed up to Super Bowl XLV to perform the National Anthem for the millions of people watching worldwide. And boy, did she nail it out of the park or what? She was all like…

“Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,
What so proudly we watched, at the twilight’s last gleam…”

Wait, that’s not right. Isn’t there something about ramparts in there? I’m pretty sure they were gallantly streaming or something. Either way, great for Christina, showing up and staying strong. Ain’t nobody gonna break-a-her-pride, ain’t nobody gonna tell her that she needs some sleep. Seriously.

Video after the jump…

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Among other highlights from last night’s Super Bowl, Fox made sure that we were repeatedly aware that there were some pretty big stars in attendance. For instance, NFL legend John Madden was sitting next to George W. and Laura Bush, while Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore sat behind them. Wait, how did the guy with the most Twitter followers get backseat to Bush and Condoleezza Rice? Ashton is so beloved that he should have been able to sit on Aaron Rodgers’ shoulders, dammit.

But stealing the show for the celebs were New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez and aging Batman villain Cameron Diaz, who were shown as Diaz was feeding popcorn to A-Rod. It was really quite adorable, especially the way she sprinkled the HGH on each kernel ever so gently.

Video after the jump…

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The Packers have one for the pinky.

Green Bay won its fourth Super Bowl, largely due to the Packers defense and their three takeaways, including a Nick Collins pick-six in the first half. Aaron Rodgers added three touchdown passes of his own to give the Pack a 31-25 win over the Pittsburgh Steelers.

The Steelers pulled within three points late in the fourth quarter on a Mike Wallace touchdown, but Green Bay answered with a field goal on a time-consuming drive and Pittsburgh turned it over on downs on the ensuing possession.

Some minutiae:

• The 31-25 final score has only occurred once before in NFL history.
• If you made a list of every player to ever play in the Super Bowl, Packers linebacker Frank Zombo would be dead last.
• The 36 rushes from both teams (13 from the Packers, 23 of the Steelers) were the fewest in Super Bowl history.
• Aaron Rodgers took MVP honors in Sunday night’s game, an achievment that Brett Favre never managed.

  There’s a fair chance that Super Bowl XLV will be the last game that any of us see for quite a while, so let’s enjoy it.

In a Super Bowl marred by bitchy columnists, horrendous customer service, a muffed national anthem and a so-bad-it’s-bad halftime show, we at least got a game that was close at the end. Congrats to the Packers and fans of sexual assault schadenfreude enthusiasts everywhere.

While interacting with his fans at the NFL Xperience in Dallas, Desmond Howard was confronted by an irate Phil Simms, who has been holding an apparent grudge against Howard since he called Phil’s son, Matt Simms, one of the three worst quarterbacks in the SEC. Howard is a college football analyst, so it’s his job to give insight and opinions, but Phil doesn’t seem to understand that. So he instead resorted to physically threatening Howard, which required police involvement.

Matt, of course, plays for the Tennessee Volunteers and he threw for 1,460 yards and 8 touchdowns during the 2010 season, so he wasn’t anything to brag about. But I will avoid making any further remarks, since I don’t want Phil threatening me. I’ve already been yelled at by Boomer Esiason’s daughter, Sydney, for calling him an idiot, so I don’t want another former NFL QB getting mad at me just because his son sucks.

Actually, New York mayor Michael Bloomberg is a New York Jets fan, but he lost a bet with Pittsburgh mayor Luke Ravenstahl when the Steelers defeated the Jets in the AFC Championship. So his punishment for his blind faith was having to wear this Hines Ward jersey as he put together care packages for the troops. The contents of these care packages? Entourage DVDs. If you ask me, it seems like the troops lost the bet.

(Via The Gothamist.)

Rapper Lil Wayne – or Lil Weezy, as I call him when we’re knitting – is the latest person to jump on the Wiz Khalifa “Black and Yellow” rewrite bandwagon. This time, Weezy changed the song to “Green and Yellow” in support of the Green Bay Packers. While it’s no “Purple and White” and Weezy is certainly no Chet Haze, he does manage some solid lyrics into the routine, including:

Long hair, don’t care, Clay Matthews.
We sh*tting on these fools, no bathroom.

Take that, Ben Roethlisberger! I think. Actually, I’m not sure if that’s a rip on Big Ben or if it’s just a statement about not needing a bathroom to figuratively defecate on the Pittsburgh Steelers. In retrospect, I think my confusion explains why I never made it as a rapper. Well, that and my inability to rhyme “cock gobbler”. Video after the jump.

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