NBC is reporting that they lost money airing Super Bowl XLIII, to the tune of $45 million. And if you believe that, I know of a bridge overlooking some swampland in Florida that you might be interested in. Here’s the official company line:

The loss contributed to a 45 percent plunge in first-quarter profit for NBC Universal, according to corporate parent GE, which released earnings yesterday.

It’s no secret the broadcast networks lose money on their football deals because of the huge rights fees the NFL extracts. TV execs consider football a loss leader that brings in a reliable flow of viewers.

Poppycock, I say. If only someone else quoted in this same article shared my dissenting opinion…

“In the last 20 years, I don’t recall a broadcaster releasing a profit-and-loss statement for the Super Bowl,” said Neal Pilson, a former president of CBS Sports and the head of Pilson Communications, a sports consulting firm.

Some industry insiders wondered if GE singled out the Super Bowl in its earnings to send a message about steep rights fees, especially in such a severe ad downturn.

The loss was only one of the contributors to a loss of almost $2 billion in profits for parent company NBC Universal. And the obvious answer is to blame Matt Millen. Millen, you’ll remember, joined the NBC’s studio show in January. Which means that, during his tenure with NBC, Millen has cost NBC about $600 million in profits per month. Hey, the numbers don’t lie.

|NY Post|

“Saturday Night Live” got all up in the sports business this weekend, weighing in with some solid material on the Michael Phelps bong drama (above) and James Harrison’s 100-yard pick-six in the Super Bowl (below).

The “Really?” segment on Phelps is pretty good, although it makes me miss Amy Poehler. The real surprise here is Kenan Thompson as James Harrison. I say “surprise” because it’s probably the first time I’ve ever found Kenan Thompson even remotely funny. But that’s just because I have impeccable comedic taste. Oh, and I’m racist.

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The first Doritos commercial last night was my favorite of the evening.  A lot of the Super Bowl ads tried to use surprise violence to sell their product, but this was the only one that worked for me.  It’s just better crafted than the Bud Light guy getting thrown out the window or the other Doritos guy getting hit by a bus. (FilmDrunk liked the Cash4Gold ad, which was pretty good, too.)

And a special note to Budweiser: NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR HORSES.  A horse love story set to “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”?  Die.  Oh, and how about Jake the immigrant horse?  Why does a fourth-generation American horse have a Scottish accent?  How are such obviously retarded people in charge of multi-million-dollar ad budgets?

POLL: Which Super Bowl ad sucked hardest?

This looks awfully familiar

Because writing in coherent paragraphs is a tall order this morning, here are some thoughts on last night’s Super Bowl, gleaned while watching the game on my curvescreen in regular definition.

• Nice to see the Cardinals try to establish the run on their first possession.  “Well, they’re gonna expect us to do what we’re good at, so let’s do something we suck at instead.”
• Until Larry Fitzgerald caught his first pass near the end of the first half, I figured Ken Whisenhunt was keeping his ringer on the bench so he could up the stakes of a bet with Tomlin at halftime.
• James Harrison’s pick-six has to be the biggest swing of momentum in Super Bowl history.  I know I’m not breaking any new ground by making that statement, but Jesus.  There were 8000 different ways that could have been less devastating for the Cardinals, and none of them happened.
• James Harrison: owner of the dirtiest and most egregious 1-yard penalty ever (not his fault — blame the steroids).  He had a hell of a game otherwise, though.
• Cheering for Ben Roethlisberger to get sacked is one of the most frustrating things in all of sports.
• With the exception of the 1st quarter, Arizona’s defense played admirably all game, especially in the red zone.  Except, you know, when it mattered most.
• As annoying as all the penalty flags were, there weren’t too many replays that I saw where I said, “Oh, that’s bullshit.”  That last “fumble” by Warner needed to be reviewed, though.  A Hail Mary — successful or not — would have been a much more satisfying end to the Super Bowl.

The season’s final Suck-Off award goes to… no one in particular.  No jackass really sticks out at me. Maybe the Cards’ offensive coordinator in the first half?  Or how about whoever does Budweiser’s ad campaigns?  Those guys need their intestines pulled out with an eggbeater.

Anything resembling a game recap or reflections on the Super Bowl will have to wait because some people saw a penis.  The biggest news this morning isn’t the Steelers’ sixth Super Bowl title, but the residents of Tucson, whose Comcast telecast was interrupted in the 4th quarter for about 30 seconds of porn footage.

Officials at Comcast said about 30 seconds from Club Jenna, an adult cable television channel, were shown on the local Super Bowl telecast. The company was still working Sunday night to figure out how it happened… The porn cut into the game with less than three minutes left to play, just after Arizona Cardinals player Larry Fitzgerald scored on a touchdown pass from Kurt Warner to put the team in the lead.

Callers said that the clip showed a woman unzipping a man’s pants, followed by a graphic act between the two. “I just figured it was another commercial until I looked up,” said Cora King of Marana. “Then he did his little dance with everything hanging out.”

Aww, no boobs?  What a waste of an egregious FCC violation.  But think about this: Larry Fitzgerald gives the Cardinals the lead, a porn star’s penis is shown, then Santonio Holmes makes four catches (including the game-winning TD) on the next drive to seal up MVP honors.  Coincidence?  I think not.

UPDATE: Very very NSFW video of the clip at Fleshbot. Honestly, you’re better off not watching it.

Wow, who would have thought the Cardinals would have come back from 13 points down in the fourth quarter to win the Super Bowl 23-20?  At least, that’s what I assume happened.  I turned off the TV after Larry Fitzgerald’s second touchdown, so this Getty Images photo of Santonio Holmes catching a pass in the end zone probably happened in some unrelated full-contact scrimmage before the game.