As a male blogger, I’m no stranger to objectification. Not a day goes by that I’m not harassed by some random girl trying to goad me into sexually explicit conversations or asking me to view her webcam while calling me “sweety” or “honey”. It’s degrading to say the least, and so I can totally relate and offer my support to my bros like Ryan Lochte, while millions of women ignore his incredible swimming talent in favor of his looks. Same boat, broseph. Same boat.

But I was also unaware that people apparently objectify female athletes in this same way. While this is news to me, I checked with some other Internet gentlemen and they, in fact, assured me that sexism and misogyny are alive and well in women’s sports. This shocked me, to say the least, because I couldn’t help but wonder if my beloved Alex Morgan and Daniela Hantuchova (above) have been the victims of this objectification as well.

The people at talkSPORT Magazine recently made a video that honors the “Sexy female Olympic athletes at London 2012” and it turns out that some people are offended. And I’m not talking about regular people like you or me. I’m talking about true intellectuals – YouTube commenters. After the jump, you can watch the video for yourself and then get schooled by YouTube’s brightest and most reasonable.

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We share a lot of NMA World Edition’s ridiculously animated, absurdist news recap videos, but their latest (about world record Olympic swimmer Ye Shiwen) brings up an interesting question of how Asian and Pacific Island nations view each other, and whether or not cultural or racial prejudices get in the way of objective reporting. Well, “objective reporting” in terms of people animating a panda to burn you in the ass and stab you in the back with a huge steroid needle.

This is the blurb from the video’s YouTube description. Read it and tell me whether it sounds like a recap of what happened, or like something your cousin might say about the Olympics on your Facebook page.

When Ye Shiwen broke the world record in the women’s 400m individual medley many were shocked, and some were suspicious. Clare Balding, a British reporter, found herself in the middle of a controversy when she insinuated the possibility of doping.

The top US coach jumped in on the controversy when he said Ye’s win was not only very “suspicious” but “unbelievable” and “disturbing”.

Ye Shiwen was quick to fire back, saying “There is no problem with doping, the Chinese team has a firm policy so there is no problem with that.” The Chinese media has defended their young swimming star saying the other countries are just jealous.

Here’s the video itself, which is glorious as always. You can count on Taiwan to not only depict a teenage Chinese swimmer as the driver of a deadly bulldozer, but to make that bulldozer as bloody as possible.

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This morning marked the first time in three days that I logged into Twitter and didn’t see #RejectedOlympicEvents trending, and that’s a very good thing. Some of the jokes were very funny until the unoriginal zombies of the Twitter wasteland just kept regurgitating the same jokes over and over, some even bragging how funny they were despite having already been posted by comedians days before. I get it, the Women’s 400m Vacuuming picture that we all saw during the last Summer Olympics is HIGHLARIOUS. But whatever, I’ll leave the Twitter policing to Supreme Twat Darren Rovell from here on out.

Bitching and moaning out of the way, there were a few of these jokes that elicited strong giggles to actual LOLs – Water YOLO and Menstrual Cycling being two of my favorites – and I started wondering, “What would the Olympics look like if these crazy rejected events actually existed?” So I fired up the old Photoshopper and decided to answer that question for myself. I only wish I could have said, “Up yours, sleep” and done 50 more.

Enjoy, won’t you?

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For international super duper soccer star, model and Burger King spokesman David Beckham, his most recent Los Angeles Galaxy game may have been the most important of his life. Beckham is desperately trying to convince Team Great Britain that he still has some gas left in the tank for one last hoorah for his home country’s hosting duties at the 2012 Summer Olympics. And nobody on the planet knows his fate except one man.

Team GB’s manager Stuart Pearce attended the Galaxy’s match against the New York Red Bulls this past Saturday, and Beckham’s effort was pretty much a colossal dud as the Galaxy lost 1-0. However, it probably says something that Pearce was sitting with Beckham’s agent, mom, sister, wife and children. It also doesn’t hurt that Galaxy coach Bruce Arena is all, “Put him on the team, bros.” Regardless, Pearce will reportedly make his decision for the 23-man roster tomorrow.

In related news, Beckham is also heavily featured in the latest Adidas ad campaign. You know who else is in the ad campaign? Katy Perry. You want to know what Katy Perry looks like in an Adidas sports bra? Of course you do.

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They should play this on SportsCenter and have Michael Ian Black and Mo Rocca just say sarcastic sh*t about it the whole time. (via Ball Don’t Lie)

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Links

This Week in Posters and Stills: Rock of Ages still looks awful |Film Drunk|

10 Events That Should Be Added To The 2012 Summer Olympics |Smoking Section|

Snoop Gets Technical: Snoop Dogg Helps Explain The Tupac Hologram And Other Mysteries Of Science |UPROXX|

The Dugout Opening Days ’12: Minnesota Twins |With Leather|

An Exploration Of The Idris Elba Face |Warming Glow|

Val Kilmer Expounds On How ‘Batman Forever’ Went Wrong |Gamma Squad|

Writer Of ‘Girls’ Not Happy About Criticism Of ‘Girls’ |UPROXX|

Nick Offerman Reads Tweets From Young Female Celebrities, Makes Anything Seem Manly |UPROXX|

On Derrick Rose, Eminem And The Price Of Fame |Smoking Section|

LISTEN: Mel Gibson drops another single |Film Drunk|

Brooklyn Decker Takes Off Her Clothes For GQ, Would Totally Do Gisele |With Leather|

Five Reasons Why Found Footage Movies Mostly Don’t Work |Gamma Squad|

Tupac Shakur Discovered Omar Little |Warming Glow|

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For longer than I’ve lived in Central Florida, there’s been this quiet optimism that there could one day be a Summer Olympics right in Mickey Mouse’s back yard. There have been plenty of proposed ideas of how it could happen – from using Disney’s seemingly endless property on a loaner to a joint venture between Orlando and Tampa with facilities all along Interstate 4 – and none of them would ever work in a million years. But every time the International Olympics Committee meets to choose future summer sites, people in Florida start buzzing.

And the point of this edition of “Cool story, bro” is that hosting the Olympic games is severely overrated because cities just don’t make any money anymore. Back in 2010, city officials in Chicago spent $50 million just to bid on hosting the Olympics in 2016. Had their bid been accepted, Chicagoans would have been on the hook for $5 billion in up front expenses. Luckily, the bid wasn’t accepted, as Chicago didn’t even make it past the first round, so *flush noise* to that $50 million.

Not everything is doom and gloom, though. Atlanta proved that there is life after the Olympics by turning all of its event venues into state-of-the-art facilities for the city’s current sports teams – the Olympic Stadium is Turner Field, for example. Perhaps it would have been nice if someone had sent that blueprint to the folks in Beijing, as some people recently asked the question, “Hey, what happened to all of those venues the Chinese constructed to host the 2008 Summer Olympics and cost the country an absurd, record-setting $48 billion?”

Oh, they’re just chilling. Presumably holding a ton of brand new wigs.

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