The U.S. Men’s Basketball Team handily defeated France yesterday or the day before or whenever the hell NBC taped it, as Kevin Durant and LeBron James made it look way too easy in a 98-71 victory. France’s bottle-popping point guard Tony Parker led us to believe that his team of baguette-bangers would give the Americans a headache, but with James playing in another universe right now, that doesn’t seem quite possible.
Unfortunately, instead of focusing on simply how well this team is playing – despite a few flaws that shouldn’t really factor into a gold medal victory – we’re still doing it. We’re still having this stupid ass conversation. Could James and the 2012 USA team defeat the 1992 Dream Team that featured the NBA’s greatest legends? The answer is no. Not because the Dream Team was better, but because we cannot manipulate time to get these two teams on the same court at the same time.
But that’s a fact, and facts are stupid when it comes to printing lazy journalism – like, say, suggesting that Michael Phelps used steroids. Hey LeBron, why don’t you tell us about your focus and intensity and how they relate to you being able to throw a missile bounce pass across the court for a perfect assist? Haha, just kidding. Give us some forced rhetoric instead.