The U.S. Men’s Basketball Team handily defeated France yesterday or the day before or whenever the hell NBC taped it, as Kevin Durant and LeBron James made it look way too easy in a 98-71 victory. France’s bottle-popping point guard Tony Parker led us to believe that his team of baguette-bangers would give the Americans a headache, but with James playing in another universe right now, that doesn’t seem quite possible.

Unfortunately, instead of focusing on simply how well this team is playing – despite a few flaws that shouldn’t really factor into a gold medal victory – we’re still doing it. We’re still having this stupid ass conversation. Could James and the 2012 USA team defeat the 1992 Dream Team that featured the NBA’s greatest legends? The answer is no. Not because the Dream Team was better, but because we cannot manipulate time to get these two teams on the same court at the same time.

But that’s a fact, and facts are stupid when it comes to printing lazy journalism – like, say, suggesting that Michael Phelps used steroids. Hey LeBron, why don’t you tell us about your focus and intensity and how they relate to you being able to throw a missile bounce pass across the court for a perfect assist? Haha, just kidding. Give us some forced rhetoric instead.

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There’s a great deal of added pressure on the U.S. women’s soccer team in this 2012 Summer Olympics, what with the men’s team apparently being contracted or something. Fortunately, stars like Abby Wambach and Hope Solo are up to the challenge, what with their whole being really talented thing going on.

However, yesterday, after a disheartening start in which the red hot French team, winners of 17 straight, got out to a quick 2-0 lead, the U.S. women showed why they’re best players for the best country in the world (f*ck you, Botswana) as they fired back to win the game 4-2. Multiple women player their parts in making this victory happen, but the game’s true star was our favorite, Alex Morgan, who was responsible for two of Team USA’s scores.

Said U.S. captain Christie Rampone, “They’re really stepping up and they’re really taking pride in wearing the USA jersey and showing American pride, more the mentality — kind of old school with a young flair. They’re doing a great job.”

Rampone says the combination of Wambach and Morgan puts this team in an elite class. She says, of Morgan, “She has embraced the fact that she’s now in the starting lineup and she plays well with Abby Wambach up top.” (Via the USA Today)

Unfortunately, not many conversations can take place regarding Morgan without mentioning her looks, because we’re a culture of perverts these days. Thankfully, we consider ourselves gentlemen at this fine website – despite what the HuffPo, Yahoo! and eventually Daily Mail when it finds a writer to copy another person’s opinion think – so I wanted to give everyone an opportunity to finally end the objectification of Morgan as the Internet’s “girlfriend” so we can simply appreciate her as a world class soccer player.

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