…AND A NATION OF DOUCHEBAGS WEPT

Written by JOSH Z / 10.12.09

The city of Boston and its legions of allegedly fairweather sports fans received a long-overdue kick in the balls yesterday. Not long after New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady underthrew his team to a loss in Denver, Boston Red Sox reliever Jonathan Papelbon was doing the exact same thing in Fenway Park. Or maybe it was just before. Anyway, The Los Angeles Angels–down to their last strike in the game WITH NOBODY ON BASE–toppled the Sawks to win their American League Division Series yesterday, 7-6, in front of a stunned crowd whose tears surely would have tasted like champagne to the rest of the sporting world.

Vladimir Guerrero capped the almost surreal rally in that top of the ninth, producing a two-run single to right-center — a looping liner that center fielder Jacoby Ellsbury couldn’t quite get to. With that, the Angels had their first lead of the day. This, in a game the Red Sox led 5-1 after four, 5-2 after six and 6-4 going into the ninth.

“I think things happened quick, more than anything,” said Papelbon. “I wasn’t able to stop the bleeding. Your team fights and puts you in that situation and they call upon you, and you let them down. Your team expects you to pull through and preserve that win for you and then you don’t, it’s definitely not a good feeling.” via.

Losing feels worse than winning? You don’t say? Don’t worry, Boston. Basketball starts in two weeks. That bandwagon isn’t due for service until Kevin Garnett gets injured again. Heck, you might even have four or five months before that team completely falls out of playoff contention this year. Oh, I forgot, it’s the NBA. Everybody makes the playoffs over there.

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AW, POOR BOSTON FANS :(

Written by JOSH Z / 05.05.09

Leave it to Boston to complain about having both of their winter teams in the playoffs. Turns out that the Celtics and Bruins will be playing their games on the same nights. Yeah, that’s a shame, especially since you can only get one radio station at a time in that Celtics bandwagon.

Starting Wednesday, the Celtics and Bruins will play on the same night for the final five games (if necessary) of the Bruins’ series with the Carolina Hurricanes. That means Boston fans looking to watch their boys of winter on ice and on the parquet will have to do some channel surfing.

Amazingly, the Bruins and Celtics will not play at TD Banknorth Garden on same day at any point during this stretch. This reminds me of the 12-hour shifts that people worked in the stockyards in the early 1900s. Two guys would share a bed, and one would work while the other slept. That’s part of the reason I don’t understand why people get worked up when some 8-year-old kid from Pakistan wants to make me a soccer ball. It’s not like he has anything better to do…

|The Herald’s Celtics Blog, via GameOn|

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THE NBA LOVES THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST

Written by Matt / 05.23.07

With the NBA playoffs over, basketball fans turned their eyes to last night's draft lottery, which is unnecessarily televised every year.  As you've certainly heard by now, the Portland Trail Blazers get their choice of Greg Oden or Kevin Durant, while the embattled Sonics of the Emerald City got the second pick — forcing experts to wonder whether Oden/Durant can save hoops in Seattle, whether Portland will take Oden or Durant (Definitely Oden Definitely Durant!), and whether or not this milk is still good.  Like, the carton says it doesn't expire until tomorrow, but it already smells funny, you know?

Oh yeah, and if you watched the lottery you saw the clown in the #20 Celtics jersey with "Oden" on the back.  The Celtics will pick fifth, which means that there is a God, and he didn't like Bill Simmons's idea of karma, either.

Full lottery results after the jump. 

1. Portland Trail Blazers

2. Seattle Sonics

3. Atlanta Hawks (sorry, Phoenix) 

4. Memphis Grizzlies 

5. Boston Celtics (HAW-ha!)

6. Milwaukee Bucks

7. Minnesota Timberwolves

8. Charlotte Bobcats

9. Chicago Bulls (from Knicks — thanks, Isiah!)

10. Sacaramento Kings

11. Atlanta Hawks (from Indiana)

12. Philadelphia 76ers

13. New Orleans Hornets

14. L.A. Clippers 

Oh yeah, you should peep Peter Schrager's experience at the draft.  He's a good man.  And thorough. 

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