"Sweet gloves, bro."

NBA legend and TNT analyst Shaquille O’Neal, in his neverending quest to completely besmirch Dwight Howard, once said that Andrew Bynum was the best big man in the league. But since he was traded to the Philadelphia 76ers in the blockbuster deal that sent Howard from the Orlando Magic to the Los Angeles Lakers, I’m pretty certain that Shaq doesn’t even care who Bynum is anymore. That doesn’t change the fact that, though, that when healthy Bynum is indeed one of the most talented centers in the NBA. The key component of that statement being WHEN HEALTHY, because lately that’s a concern.

Bynum has been rehabilitating his knees after he received fancy lubrication injections in Germany during the summer. Basically, the guy has no cartilage and he’s trying desperately to make his knees work. Originally, he was aiming to be ready by mid-to-late November, but then he suffered a bone bruise that set him back to December or January. Now, his recovery has been set back again, because he reportedly re-injured his knee while bowling. Seriously.

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What you need to know:

Golf cart mows down everyone in sight after a high school football game in Cowboys Stadium on December 17, 2011

What to look out for:

- A golf cart coming to life and trying to murder you a la Maximum Overdrive.

- 0:17-0:22 – A guy getting knocked ass over head and losing both of his shoes in the process.

- 0:20-0:26 – A guy getting knocked onto the cart, but being able to do nothing but helplessly touch the wheel for a few seconds before bailing out and rolling like the cart is about to explode or go sailing off the edge of a cliff.

- 0:19-0:29 – The only person in Texas fast enough and possessing enough mental prowess under pressure to sprint after a golf cart, climb into it and put his foot on the brake.

- 0:32-1:29 – Representatives of Texas high school football selling being bumped by a golf cart like they’ve been shot by a sniper.

- 0:00-0:16 – Is Trey Williams a real person, because he looks like a created guy in Madden.

[via Buzzfeed]

Sometimes a gif says it all. Faustio Carmona had to run to first base during the Indians’ 3-1 win over the Reds on Saturday, and … well, have you seen the gif of the two dogs having sex? The one where they’re going at it, and the one dog gets so into it that he pukes on the dog he’s humping? That’s what happened during Fausto’s first ever attempt at running as a human adult. Click the image below to watch the full sized gif (courtesy of Mocksession) in action, as I guarantee it will be the most poignant, second-hand embarrassment you’ll experience all afternoon.

Oh. Oh no. I think the worst part is that his helmet falls off before he goes down. Fausto strained his right quadriceps muscle and will miss his next start, but all of that pales in comparison to the full-on personal crisis of looking like that in front of people.

“I didn’t watch [the replay],” he said Sunday morning, according to the Cleveland Plain Dealer. “I didn’t want to see it.”

Compare and contrast:

…and not because he plays golf in his underwear. Frustrated either by his own play or the industrial-sized ass-whomping laid on U.S. Open over the weekend by Rory McIlroy, Stenson got mad and started hitting the ground with his club. He had an awkward start and didn’t really commit, and ended up breaking the club in half and cutting himself. It’s the golf equivalent of pouring yourself a glass of water, then immediately knocking it over and spilling your blood everywhere.

Because you’re even less likely to read a post about golf than one about pro wrestling, the incident reminded me of the time World Championship Wrestling’s Bill Goldberg proved his toughness by punching out the window of a limousine and yeah, it looked pretty tough, but he cut everything in his arm to sh:t and was out for a year.

In a related story, neither Stenson nor McIlroy is the “next Tiger Woods”, no matter what you read today.

[via Devil Ball Golf]