Fear the Spear

Written by Brandon Stroud / 05.03.11

boom, bitch

Getting drunk and running out onto a baseball field is a stupid idea, but it’s especially stupid at Fenway Park, where security is trained to seek and destroy. These guys are like the cougars from Red Dead Redemption, speeding in from out of nowhere to take you out with one pounce.

The following video is a perfect example, captured by a guy who (I guess) paid to get into a baseball game so he could aimlessly film his own legs. He looks up in time to see a guy running onto the field with his arms in the air, and stays on it long enough to see said guy being crushed to his f**king doom by a security professional who may or may not be goddamned Goldberg. Listen closely for running commentary, which includes the sort of insight you’d expect from people who think a field run is funny, like “woooo” and “UHHHHHH” (sp).

C-c-c-combo breaker.

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Ugly People Make Fun Of Ugly Cubs Fans

Written by JOSH Z / 04.12.11

This video from Buzzfeed is totally fake, but it’s worth posting to make a point about ridiculing a certain fanbase/team/city: if you are fat and ugly, you should not be making fun of anyone. You should be grateful that your ancestors, who were probably light years uglier than you were(yes, we’re measuring beauty in galactic time scales now), were permitted to live with their fitter, more attractive counterparts. Do not make fun of being drunk and ugly when you yourself are drunk and ugly. And apparently all of you live in Chicago anyway. I guess ridiculing a mirror would have been too meta.

Video’s after the jump. Rock on, Chicago. Read the rest of this entry »

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Dolphins Fans Hurt Henne’s Feelings

Written by Ashley Burns / 12.28.10

Miami Dolphins players and personnel are very upset with the team’s fans after they booed and shouted insults at quarterback Chad Henne as a result of Miami’s 34-27 loss to the Detroit Lions on Sunday. With a 10-point lead in the 4th quarter, Henne threw two interceptions – the first set up a Dave Rayner field goal and the second was returned for the game-winning touchdown. And despite WR Devone Bess taking the blame for falling down on the second pick, Miami fans have focused their blame on Henne and coach Tony Sparano.

A few players felt the sorrow of the fans after the pathetic loss (Yeremiah Bell apologized to the fans for an awful season), but team mouthpiece and perennial underachiever Channing Crowder ain’t having none of it. You see, according to Crowder, fans aren’t allowed to boo their team. That kind of behavior isn’t welcomed in Miami sports…

Read the rest of this entry »

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Patriots Beat Bengals. Fans Beat Traffic. Star QB Beats Drum

Written by Ryan Walsh / 09.15.10

0201021P RAIDERS V PATRIOTS XNothing says “I support my team no matter what” like walking out of their game, for the sole purpose of beating traffic to get home and watch other teams play. Such is the though process of New England Patriots fans, many of whom decided they had seen enough of their team’s beat down of the Cincinnati Bengals before the game had even finished, and left their team to fight on without their support. Tom Brady will not tolerate this kind of behavior, so he did the one thing he knew would piss off New Englanders more than anything else. He likened them to Jets fans.

“The road environment is very different than our friendly home crowd, who when I looked up, half the stadium was gone when we were up 21 points early fourth quarter, which I wasn’t so happy about,” Brady said. “I don’t think the Jets fans leave early. They’re going to be loud the whole game. Communication is always an issue.

“We work on it a lot in practice, I think we worked on it in training camp quite a bit. Last year we didn’t do a very good job of it and that was painfully obvious to all of us. We have to do a better job of it this year.” –Boston Herald

Before you getting all of your “er”s and “ahh”s in a bunch, New England, remember that this is the man that built your franchise from mediocrity to a dynastic status in four seasons. All he wants is for you to stay for the entirety of the game. Is that too much to ask? Aren’t football tickets expensive enough? You’ve become spoiled by years of success and media love. Your team is one hit to Tom Brady’s knee from going back into the AFC basement, so you think you’d want enjoy his services while they’re available. But please, Bill, continue to whine about Lakers fans having to beat traffic to get to their games, and their hot girlfriends with awesome racks.

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Winnipeg Jets Fan Calls 911…15 Years Later

Written by Ryan Walsh / 07.23.10

FinalSeason

As a fan of Washington franchises, I’ve been lucky in that I’ve never had to worry about my teams relocating. I can’t really imagine what fans of Hartford, Seattle, or Cleveland felt when their team was forced to move because of difficulties with ownership. Winnipeg knows their pain all too well, but finding closure has been harder for some Jets fans than others. They’re sick and tired of being sick and tired, one fan going so far as to call Winnipeg’s finest for backup.

Well, for one individual, the frustration finally boiled over. This particular soul, a 32-year-old resident of nearby Lundar, Manitoba, reached the point of no return and realized he was mad as hell and he wasn’t going to take it anymore. As any sane person would do when facing a similar issue, he called 911 to air his grievances regarding the Jets leaving town in 1996 and demanded that RCMP officers do anything in their power to get the Jets to move back to Winnipeg. He has been charged with “public mischief, false messages, harassing phone calls and obstructing justice.” –Sportress of Blogitude via Sports Illustrated

You can’t call the man to help you with a revolution. You have to start drinking heavily, flipping stuff over, and lighting things on fire, not calling the police. It’s like these fans have never rioted before. Probably because they’ve never won anything. They should call Philadelphia for rioting lessons. But, don’t give up hope on this story yet, it’s just getting started. Read the rest of this entry »

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